Cockney Alphabet
{{Short description|Parody recital of the English alphabet}}The Cockney Alphabet is a recital of the English alphabet intended to parody the way the alphabet is taught to small working class children. The ostensible humour comes from forming unexpected words and phrases from the names of the various letters of the alphabet, mocking the way people from East London speak. Cockney is a name given to the working class of East London by the middle and upper classes.{{cite news |url=http://www.smh.com.au/news/Big-Questions/The-definitive-Cockney-Alphabet/2005/01/14/1105582700584.html |title=The definitive Cockney Alphabet |work=The Sydney Morning Herald |date=15 January 2005}}{{cite news |url=http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/story.asp?storyCode=161119§ioncode=38 |work=Times Higher Education |title=Verbal frolics |date=13 November 1998}}
Clapham and Dwyer version
{{Infobox song
| name = A Surrealist Alphabet
| cover = Surrealist alphabet clapham dwyer.jpg
| artist = Clapham and Dwyer
| released = 1936
| genre = Comedy
| length =
| A-side = "A Spot of Fishing"
| label = Columbia
| writer = Clapham and Dwyer
| composer =
| lyricist =
| producer =
| prev_title =
| prev_year =
| title =
| next_title =
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}}
In 1936, the comedy double act Clapham and Dwyer recorded the following version, entitled "A Surrealist Alphabet":
:A for {{not a typo|'orses}} (hay for horses)
:B for mutton (beef or mutton)
:C for 'th highlanders (Seaforth Highlanders)
:D for {{not a typo|'ential}} (deferential)
:F for {{not a typo|'vescence}} (effervescence)
:G for police (chief of police)
:H for respect (age for respect)
:I for Novello (Ivor Novello)
:J for oranges (Jaffa oranges)
:K for {{not a typo|'ancis}}, (Kay Francis)
:L for leather (Hell for leather)
:M for 'sis (emphasis)
:N for {{not a typo|'adig}} (in for a dig, or infra dig.)
:O for the garden wall (over the garden wall)
:P for a penny (pee for a penny)
:Q for a song (cue for a song), or Q for billiards (cue for billiards)
:R for mo' (half a mo')
:S for you (it's for you)
:T for two (tea for two)
:U for films (UFA films)
:V for La France (vive la France)
:W for a bob (double you for a bob?, as in gambling)
:X for breakfast (eggs for breakfast)
:Y for Gawd's sake (why, for God's sake?)
:Z for breezes (zephyr breezes, see West wind)
Notes
{{Use dmy dates|date=November 2018}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Cockney Alphabet}}