Comet (song)

{{short description|North American children's humorous song}}

{{For|the song by Björk|The Comet Song}}

{{For|the song by Yoasobi|Yasashii Suisei}}

File:Cometcleanser.jpg

"Comet" is a well-known humorous children's song in parts of North America and other English-speaking countries. It describes the deleterious effects of consuming Comet cleanser—a powdered cleansing product.{{cite book | last = Bronner | first = Simon J. | author-link = Simon J. Bronner | title = American Children's Folklore | publisher = August House | date = 1988 | page = [https://archive.org/details/americanchildren00bron/page/80 80] | url = https://archive.org/details/americanchildren00bron | url-access = registration | isbn = 0-87483-068-0}} The most prominent and often-occurring effect in the song is that it turns one's teeth green. Among other effects alleged by this song are an unappealing taste and, unsurprisingly, a tendency to vomit.{{cite book | last = Chotzinoff | first = Robin | title = Holy Unexpected: My New Life as a Jew | publisher = PublicAffairs | date = 2006 | location = New York City | page = [https://archive.org/details/holyunexpectedmy0000chot/page/105 105] | url = https://archive.org/details/holyunexpectedmy0000chot | url-access = registration | isbn = 1-58648-308-0}}

Although this song, like many in its genre, has widely variable lyrics,{{cite book | last = Winsor | first = Charlotte B. | title = Dimensions of Language Experience | publisher = Agathon Publications | date = 1975 | page = 155 | url = https://books.google.com/books?id=ZCACAAAAIAAJ | isbn = 0-87586-052-4}}{{cite book | last = Kun | first = Michael | title = You Poor Monster | publisher = MacAdam/Cage Publishing | date = 2005 | page = [https://archive.org/details/youpoormonsterno00kunm/page/15 15] | url = https://archive.org/details/youpoormonsterno00kunm | url-access = registration | isbn = 1-59692-119-6}} a common version contains the following words:

: Comet - it makes your teeth [or "lips"] turn green!;

: Comet - it tastes like gasoline [or "kerosene" in Australia; or "Listerine", in the variation where your lips turn green]!;

: Comet - it makes you vomit;

: So buy [or "eat" or "get"] some Comet, and vomit, today!

Alternately (rural Oregon circa 1972):

: Comet - it makes your heart turn blue,

: Comet - it tastes like Elmer's Glue,

: Comet - it makes you vomit,

: So try Comet, and Vomit, Today!

The melody of the song is the "Colonel Bogey March" whistled in the movie 'Bridge Over the River Kwai'.{{cite book | last = MacDonald | first = Ann-Marie | author-link = Ann-Marie MacDonald | title = The Way the Crow Flies | publisher = HarperCollins | date = 2003 | page = 97 | url = https://books.google.com/books?id=KWd5JXiv7HEC | isbn = 0-06-058637-0}}