D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

{{For multi|the Tammy Wynette song|D-I-V-O-R-C-E|other uses|Divorce (disambiguation)}}

{{Infobox song

| name = D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

| cover =

| alt =

| type = Single

| artist = Billy Connolly

| album =

| B-side = "Cuckoo"

| released = 1975{{cite web|url=http://www.discogs.com/Billy-Connolly-DIVORCE/release/4774868 |title=Billy Connolly - D.I.V.O.R.C.E. (Vinyl) at Discogs |year=1975 |publisher=Discogs.com |accessdate=2014-03-27}}

| recorded =

| studio =

| venue =

| genre = Novelty

| length =

| label = Polydor Records

| writer = Sheb Wooley Bobby Braddock and Curly Putman

| producer = Phil Coulter

| prev_title =

| prev_year =

| next_title =

| next_year =

}}

"D.I.V.O.R.C.E." is a 1975 UK number-one single by Scottish folk singer and comedian Billy Connolly.{{cite book

| first= David

| last= Roberts

| year= 2006

| title= British Hit Singles & Albums

| edition= 19th

| publisher= Guinness World Records Limited

| location= London

| isbn= 1-904994-10-5

| page= 320}} A comedy song, it reached No. 1 for one week in November 1975,{{cite web|url=https://www.officialcharts.com/artists/ |title=Official Charts Company |publisher=Official Charts Company |accessdate=2010-03-08}} and was one of the few songs of its genre to reach this milestone.

The song is a cover of Sheb Wooley's{{cite book|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=gW-HCgAAQBAJ&dq=ben+colder+billy+connolly&pg=PA119 |title=Bobby Braddock: A Life on Nashville's Music Row |isbn=9780826520845 |accessdate=2022-07-04|last1=Braddock |first1=Bobby |date=6 October 2015 }} parody of the Tammy Wynette song "D-I-V-O-R-C-E",{{cite news|url=http://news.scotsman.com/100bestscottishalbums/Rock-and-roll-years-the.2470393.jp|title=Rock and roll years: the 1970s|date=2003-10-16|newspaper=The Scotsman|accessdate=2010-03-08}} and Connolly's version to date has been his only No. 1 UK single, though in the late 1970s he had a further two UK hits which parodied contemporary songs. He later dropped musical performances from his act.

"D.I.V.O.R.C.E." has a similar theme to Wynette's original in that the events in the song lead to a couple divorcing, however in the parody, the words are spelled out to withhold the truth from a dog rather than a child as in Wynette's version, and the divorce is sparked by a riotous visit to a veterinarian{{cite news|url=http://www.heraldscotland.com/arts-ents/film-tv-features/the-story-of-billy-connolly-in-11-and-a-half-chapters-1.921179|title=The story of Billy Connolly in 11 and a half chapters|author=Brian Beacom|date=2009-09-21|newspaper=The Herald|accessdate=2010-03-08}} that results in the husband being bitten by both the dog and his wife.

Some versions of the song, such as the live performance included on the album Get Right Intae Him! which was released as the single, are censored, with the letters "f'ing c" being bleeped.