Enabling
{{short description|Psychological intervention}}
{{about|enabling in its counseling or psychological sense|enabling in an empowerment sense|Empowerment|use of term in Graphical user interfaces|GUI widget|other uses|Enabling (disambiguation)}}
{{Unreliable sources|date=June 2021}}
In psychotherapy and mental health, enabling is the encouragement of some behaviour, especially if said behaviour is either particularly positive or dysfunctional.[http://www.elinewberger.com/enabling.html elinewberger.com] {{webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20080209121208/http://www.elinewberger.com/enabling.html |date=2008-02-09 }} From the page on 'enabling', by Eli H. Newberger, M.D., referenced by that web page to The Men They Will Become ch.18 "Enabling".
Positive
As a positive term, "enabling" describes patterns of interaction which allow individuals to develop and grow in a healthy direction. These patterns may be on any scale, for example within the family.
Negative
In a negative sense, "enabling" can describe dysfunctional behavior approaches that are intended to help resolve a specific problem but, in fact, may perpetuate or exacerbate the problem.{{Cite web |url=http://addictionrecoverybasics.com/the-role-of-enabler-are-you-enabling-addiction-in-the-one-you-love/ |title=The Role of Enabler: Are You Enabling Addiction In The One You Love? |access-date=2013-07-05 |archive-date=2013-07-18 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20130718081215/http://addictionrecoverybasics.com/the-role-of-enabler-are-you-enabling-addiction-in-the-one-you-love/ |url-status=dead }} A common theme of enabling in this latter sense is that third parties take responsibility or blame, or make accommodations for a person's ineffective or harmful conduct (often with the best of intentions, or from fear or insecurity which inhibits action). The practical effect is that the person themselves does not have to do so, and is shielded from awareness of the harm it may do, and the need or pressure to change.
{{citation|url= https://books.google.com/books?id=n7KY6aO7ZXsC |title=The selfish brain
|author=Robert L. DuPont|page=15|date=2000-02-17|publisher=Hazelden
|isbn=978-1-56838-363-7}}
=Codependency=
Codependency is a theory that attempts to explain imbalanced relationships in which one person enables another person's self-destructive behavior{{cite book |last1=McGrath |first1=Michael |last2=Oakley |first2=Barbara |author2-link=Barbara Oakley |editor1-last=Oakley |editor1-first=Barbara |editor2-last=Knafo |editor2-first=Ariel |editor3-last=Madhavan |editor3-first=Guruprasad |editor4-last=Wilson |editor4-first=David Sloan |title=Codependency and Pathological Altruism |date=2012 |publisher=Oxford University Press |location=New York |isbn=9780199876341 |page=49}} such as addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.{{Cite news|last=Johnson|first=R. Skip|title=Codependency and Codependent Relationships |url=http://bpdfamily.com/content/codependency-codependent-relationships|publisher=BPDFamily.com|date=13 July 2014|access-date=9 September 2014}}
Enabling may be observed in the relationship between a person with a substance use disorder and their partner, spouse or a parent. Enabling behaviors may include making excuses that prevent others from holding the person accountable, or cleaning up messes that occur in the wake of their impaired judgment. Enabling may prevent psychological growth in the person being enabled, and may contribute to negative symptoms in the enabler. Enabling may be driven by concern for retaliation, or fear of consequence to the person with the substance use disorder, such as job loss, injury or suicide.{{cite web|url=http://psychcentral.com/lib/are-you-an-enabler/00015255|title=Are You an Enabler? - Psych Central|date=17 May 2016}} A parent may allow an addicted adult child to live at home without contributing to the household such as by helping with chores, and be manipulated by the child's excuses, emotional attacks, and threats of self-harm.{{cite web|url=http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/candace-plattor/enabling-addicts_b_6954214.html|title=Loved Ones of Addicts May Also Need Help Saying No|date=29 March 2015}}
=Abuse=
In the context of abuse, enablers are distinct from flying monkeys (proxy abusers). Enablers allow or cover for the abuser's own bad behavior while flying monkeys actually perpetrate bad behavior to a third party on their behalf.Ziehl N [https://qz.com/852187/coping-with-chaos-in-the-white-house Coping with narcissistic personality disorder in the White House] Quartz 06 Dec 2016 Padilla et al. (2007), in analyzing destructive leadership, distinguished between conformers and colluders, in which the latter are those who actively participate in the destructive behavior.Padilla, A, Hogan, R & Kaiser, RB 2007, [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1048984307000367?via%3Dihub#bib71 The toxic triangle: Destructive leaders, susceptible followers, and conducive environments], in The Leadership Quarterly, vol. 18, pp. 176–194
Emotional abuse is a brainwashing method that over time can turn someone into an enabler. While the abuser often plays the victim, it is quite common for the true victim to believe that he or she is responsible for the abuse and thus must adapt and adjust to it.Joan Lachkar, How to Talk to a Narcissist (2008). {{isbn|978-0415958554}}