Hoots Mon

{{About||the 1919 film starring Stan Laurel|Hoot Mon!|the 1940 film starring Max Miller|Hoots Mon! (1940 film)}}

{{Infobox song

| name = Hoots Mon

| cover =

| alt =

| type = single

| artist = Lord Rockingham's XI

| album =

| B-side = Blue Train

| released = 1958

| format =

| recorded =

| studio =

| venue =

| genre = Rock and roll

| length =

| label = Decca

| writer = Harry Robinson

| producer = Harry Robinson

| prev_title =

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}}

"Hoots Mon" is a song written by Harry Robinson, and performed by Lord Rockingham's XI.{{cite book

| first= Jo

| last= Rice

| year= 1982

| title= The Guinness Book of 500 Number One Hits

| edition= 1st

| publisher= Guinness Superlatives Ltd

| location= Enfield, Middlesex

| page= 40

| isbn= 0-85112-250-7}} It was a number-one hit single for three weeks in 1958 on the UK Singles Chart.{{cite book

| first= David

| last= Roberts

| year= 2006

| title= British Hit Singles & Albums

| edition= 19th

| publisher= Guinness World Records Limited

| location= London

| isbn= 1-904994-10-5

| pages= 91–2}} It is based on the old Scottish folk song, "A Hundred Pipers". It was also one of the first rock and roll songs to feature the Hammond organ, which would become popular in rock and roll music the following year with Dave "Baby" Cortez's "The Happy Organ".

The record is mostly instrumental, punctuated by four stereotypical Scottish phrases:

• "Och aye", an exclamation meaning "Oh yes."
• "Hoots mon", an expression of dismissal or annoyance.{{cite web|url=https://dsl.ac.uk/entry/snd/hoot_interj_v_n|title=Hoot|publisher=Dictionaries of the Scots Language|access-date=16 December 2021}}
• "There's a moose loose aboot this hoose" ("There's a mouse loose about this house"), a standard cliché highlighting Scots language pronunciation.
• "It's a braw, bricht, moonlicht nicht." ("It's a fine, bright moonlit night").{{cite web|url=http://literalbarrage.org/blog/2005/01/08/your-scottish-slang-word-o-the-day-braw/ |title=Your Scottish Slang Word O' The Day: Braw |website=Literalbarrage.org |date=8 January 2005 |access-date=2016-08-29}}

The author and journalist Benny Green played the tenor saxophone on the recording.

The song was revived by Bad Manners and included on their album, Stupidity.{{Cite web |title=Hoots Mon by Bad Manners on WhoSampled |url=https://www.whosampled.com/Bad-Manners/Hoots-Mon/ |access-date=2022-08-01 |website=WhoSampled |language=en}} It was also used in a commercial for Maynards Wine Gums with the line "There's a moose loose aboot this hoose" changed to "There's juice loose aboot this hoose".{{Cite web |title=StackPath |url=https://www.hatads.org.uk/catalogue/record/19891632-86c0-4347-ba69-41f9b372a7ee |access-date=2022-08-01 |website=Hatads.org.uk}}