Married... with Children season 8

{{see also|List of Married... with Children episodes}}

{{Episode table |background=#48474c |overall=5 |season=5 |title= |director= |writer= |airdate= |prodcode= |viewers= |country=U.S. |episodes={{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=158

|EpisodeNumber2=1

|Title=A Tisket, a Tasket, Can Peg Make a Basket?

|DirectedBy=Tony Singletary

|WrittenBy=Kim Weiskopf

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1993|9|6}}

|ProdCode=801

|Viewers = 14.5{{cite news|title='John Larroquette Show' off to high-flying start|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=September 8, 1993|author=Gable, Donna}}

|ShortSummary=Al reluctantly takes Peg along to a charity basketball game, where his obnoxious behavior leads to several altercations with all-star Xavier McDaniel. Meanwhile, Peg is chosen to take part in a $10,000 free throw contest, while Kelly tries to get up and close with the players.

Guest stars: NBA players Xavier McDaniel, Vlade Divac, Clyde Drexler and sportscaster Ray Clay.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=159

|EpisodeNumber2=2

|Title=Hood 'n the Boyz

|DirectedBy=Tony Singletary

|WrittenBy=Michael G. Moye

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1993|9|13}}

|ProdCode=802

|Viewers = 15.2{{cite news|title=Smooth start for 'seaQuest DSV'|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=September 15, 1993|author=Gable, Donna}}

|ShortSummary=Al and Peg go to the big city for their second honeymoon where Al is called to help his childhood girlfriend deal with a young tough guy and his gang.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=160

|EpisodeNumber2=3

|Title=Proud to Be Your Bud?

|DirectedBy=Tony Singletary

|WrittenBy=Stacie Lipp

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1993|9|20}}

|ProdCode=803

|Viewers = 15.0{{cite news|title=Nielsen ratings|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=September 22, 1993}}

|ShortSummary=Bud builds a portal in the basement that summons his true self, who tells him how much of a loser he is. Meanwhile, the rest of the Bundy family worry that Bud may be going insane, except for Al, who's fighting with a voice mail system to get parts for his Dodge.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=161

|EpisodeNumber2=4

|Title=Luck of the Bundys

|DirectedBy=Tony Singletary

|WrittenBy=Richard Gurman

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1993|9|27}}

|ProdCode=804

|Viewers = 17.0{{cite news|title='Dave's World,' 'Harts' help CBS to victory|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=September 29, 1993|author=Gable, Donna}}

|ShortSummary=Al is worried that his and his family's sudden string of good luck may be reversed because nothing good can ever come from being a Bundy. Finally everything goes wrong and Al is happy.

Guest star: Lee Arenberg

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=162

|EpisodeNumber2=5

|Title=Banking on Marcy

|DirectedBy=Tony Singletary

|WrittenBy=Stacie Lipp

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1993|10|4}}

|ProdCode=805

|Viewers = 16.6{{cite news|title=Nielsen ratings|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=October 6, 1993}}

|ShortSummary=Marcy works through her fear of public speaking by imagining herself having sex. Meanwhile, Al gets interested in rap videos.
Note: This is the only episode to be rated TV-14 in reruns due to strong sexual content (S) and crude sexual dialogue (D)

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=163

|EpisodeNumber2=6

|Title=No Chicken, No Check

|DirectedBy=Tony Singletary

|WrittenBy=Ralph R. Farquhar

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1993|10|11}}

|ProdCode=806

|Viewers = 16.5{{cite news|title=New shows pick up steam in ABC win|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=October 13, 1993|author=Gable, Donna}}

|ShortSummary=Kelly and Bud buy a new car, but end up having to share it when Bud dates a foreign exchange student while Kelly dates a commercial actor. Meanwhile, Al insures the car as a farm vehicle, and in order to collect in case of an accident, there must be a chicken in the car, hence the episode title.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=164

|EpisodeNumber2=7

|Title=Take My Wife, Please

|DirectedBy=Tony Singletary

|WrittenBy={{StoryTeleplay|s= Brad Yuen|t= Peter Gaulke & Eddie Feldmann}}

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1993|10|25}}

|ProdCode=807

|Viewers = 21.0{{cite news|title=World Series earns CBS a win|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=October 27, 1993|author=DeRosa, Robin}}

|ShortSummary=In this Halloween episode, Al wishes he was dead, and is visited by the Grim Reaper with a very familiar face. He can escape death only if a family member wished he was around before mid-night. Meanwhile, Peg, Bud, Kelly, and Jefferson impersonate The Village People at a party for menopausal women. They perform the same song over and over again.

Guest Stars: Mindy Seeger as Jeannie and Patrika Darbo as Ethel.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=165

|EpisodeNumber2=8

|Title=Scared Single

|DirectedBy=Sam W. Orender

|WrittenBy=Katherine Green

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1993|11|8}}

|ProdCode=808

|Viewers = 15.6{{cite news|title=Nielsen ratings|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=November 10, 1993}}

|ShortSummary=Al hires a young high school football player, named Aaron, to work in his shoe store for the summer, and then tries to keep from getting married — until he meets his girlfriend, who isn't anything like Peg. Meanwhile, Kelly gets stung by beetles in a Verminator commercial and goes insane.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=166

|EpisodeNumber2=9

|Title=NO MA'AM

|DirectedBy=Tony Singletary

|WrittenBy=Larry Jacobson

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1993|11|15}}

|ProdCode=809

|Viewers = 12.6{{cite news|title=Walters gives ABC a special boost|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=November 17, 1993|author=DeRosa, Robin}}

|ShortSummary=After women are given their own bowling night and the Nudie Bar is turned into a women's coffeehouse, Al organizes a men's anti-feminist group called NO MA'AM (National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood) and face off against a talk show host (played by real-life talk show host Jerry Springer) known as "The Masculine Feminist."

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=167

|EpisodeNumber2=10

|Title=Dances with Weezie

|DirectedBy=Tony Singletary

|WrittenBy=Richard Gurman

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1993|11|22}}

|ProdCode=810

|Viewers = 19.4{{cite news|title=CBS sweeps back to top|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=November 24, 1993|author=DeRosa, Robin}}

|ShortSummary=Al and Jefferson bribe Bud and Kelly to impersonate them for their wives while they sneak out of a Jeffersons reunion performance on stage in a Chicago theater to go to the opening of a new sports bar, where they end up in a bar fight. Features guest appearances by Joe Namath, Johnny Bench, and Ernie Banks.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=168

|EpisodeNumber2=11

|Title=Change for a Buck

|DirectedBy=Amanda Bearse

|WrittenBy=Kim Weiskopf

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1993|11|29}}

|ProdCode=811

|Viewers = 12.9{{cite news|title=Thanksgiving week tie for NBC, CBS|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=December 1, 1993|author=DeRosa, Robin}}

|ShortSummary=Buck (voiced by guest star Cheech Marin) runs away from home and ends up at a dog pound, where he'll face getting gassed if the Bundys don't retrieve him. The family doesn't notice him to be gone till the last minute.

Note: Amanda Bearse does not appear in this episode.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=169

|EpisodeNumber2=12

|Title=A Little Off the Top

|DirectedBy=Sam W. Orender

|WrittenBy=Michael G. Moye

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1993|12|13}}

|ProdCode=812

|Viewers = 12.1{{cite news|title=Midler's 'Gypsy' coming up roses for CBS|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=December 15, 1993|author=DeRosa, Robin}}

|ShortSummary=Al suffers a back injury while playing football with Aaron and some neighborhood teens and is taken to the hospital where, instead of a circular incision for his back, he gets a circumcision. Confined at home on short-term disability for one month, the family tries their best to keep him away from getting aroused. Meanwhile, Marcy naturally has a great time making fun of Al from this latest bad luck turn of events.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=170

|EpisodeNumber2=13

|Title=The Worst Noel

|DirectedBy=Amanda Bearse

|WrittenBy=Larry Jacobson

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1993|12|20}}

|ProdCode=813

|Viewers = 16.4{{cite news|title=ABC on top for 2nd week|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=December 22, 1993|author=DeRosa, Robin}}

|ShortSummary=On Christmas Eve, Kelly and Bud struggle to get a jukebox into the house without Al and Peg (who spend the entire episode arguing over what to watch on TV) seeing them.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=171

|EpisodeNumber2=14

|Title=Sofa So Good

|DirectedBy=Amanda Bearse

|WrittenBy=Doug McIntyre

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1994|1|17}}

|ProdCode=815

|Viewers = 21.5{{cite news|title='Columbo' on the case for ABC|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=January 19, 1994|author=DeRosa, Robin}}

|ShortSummary=While Al and Peg are away at a family reunion in Wanker County, Kelly's boyfriend ruins Peggy's couch, prompting the two to find a new, identical-looking couch before Al and Peg come home. Kelly must make a difficult deal with the couch-maker to replace it.

Note: Amanda Bearse does not appear in this episode.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=172

|EpisodeNumber2=15

|Title=Honey, I Blew Up Myself

|DirectedBy=Sam W. Orender

|WrittenBy=Wayne Kline

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1994|1|24}}

|ProdCode=814

|Viewers = 21.5{{cite news|title=Nielsen ratings|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=January 26, 1994}}

|ShortSummary=Peg gets a boudoir photo of herself taken as a birthday present to Al, which gets blown up to billboard size and posted next to the shoe store, where Al becomes jealous of all the men who find Peg attractive. He finally turns to Marcy's women's group FANG (Feminists Against Neanderthal Guys) for help. Meanwhile, Bud and Kelly try to find a perfect birthday gift for Al and end up buying stuff he already has and hates.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=173

|EpisodeNumber2=16

|Title=How Green Was My Apple

|DirectedBy=Gerry Cohen

|WrittenBy=Katherine Green

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1994|2|7}}

|ProdCode=816

|Viewers = 18.7{{cite news|title=Lilith brings ratings to 'Frasier'|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=February 9, 1994|author=DeRosa, Robin}}

|ShortSummary=The Bundys and the D'Arcys fight over possession of an apple tree, and then everything around their house. Gary Coleman, Danny Bonaduce, and Dave Madden guest star.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=174

|EpisodeNumber2=17

|Title=Valentine's Day Massacre

|DirectedBy=Gerry Cohen

|WrittenBy=Cindy Begel

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1994|2|14}}

|ProdCode=818

|Viewers = 18.1{{cite news|title=Nielsen ratings|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=February 16, 1994}}

|ShortSummary=Bud learns about an old Valentine, Crystal Brooks, whom Kelly forgot to tell him about...and who is now a big-league pop-singer. While Bud negotiates Crystal's security-team in order to reunite with her, Al shops for Peg's Valentine's Day gift.

Guest Star: Julie Condra (Eerie, Indiana, The Wonder Years) as Crystal Brooks

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=175

|EpisodeNumber2=18

|Title=Get Outta Dodge

|DirectedBy=Sam W. Orender

|WrittenBy=Mark Driscoll

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1994|2|21}}

|ProdCode=817

|Viewers = 16.1{{cite news|title=Nielsen ratings|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=February 23, 1994}}

|ShortSummary=Peg forces Al to sell the Dodge and he places an ad. The Dodge Company offers a new Dodge Viper for his Dodge if he lets people film a video of the Dodge crossing the one million mile mark. Kelly tries to find Waldo, while Bud tries to make out with a girl.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=176

|EpisodeNumber2=19

|Title=Field of Screams

|DirectedBy=Gerry Cohen

|WrittenBy=Al Aidekman

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1994|2|28}}

|ProdCode=819

|Viewers = 16.8{{cite news|title=CBS' Olympic sweep|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=March 2, 1994|author=Moore, Dennis}}

|ShortSummary=Al protests against the destruction of the Polk High football field. Meanwhile, Buck and Bud are featured in a Verminator commercial, where they get blasted with an experimental spray that leads to Bud growing breasts and Buck changing into different animals.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=177

|EpisodeNumber2=20

|Title=The D'Arcy Files

|DirectedBy=Gerry Cohen

|WrittenBy=Ilunga Adell

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1994|3|28}}

|ProdCode=820

|Viewers = 18.1{{cite news|title=Winner ABC can thank the academy|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=March 30, 1994|author=DeRosa, Robin}}

|ShortSummary=Al is offered a $50,000 bribe by a shady businessman to reveal the identity and location of Jefferson, who is revealed to be a former CIA spy in a witness relocation program.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=178

|EpisodeNumber2=21

|Title=Nooner or Nothing

|DirectedBy=Gerry Cohen

|WrittenBy=Nancy Neufeld

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1994|4|11}}

|ProdCode=822

|Viewers = 16.0{{cite news|title=Hoops figure in to CBS' net again|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=April 13, 1994|author=DeRosa, Robin}}

|ShortSummary=As a part of a radio contest, women are asked to make their husband do embarrassing things. Peg tries to make Al sing "Wind Beneath My Wings", name her breasts and then come home so they can have a "nooner". She fails in everything. Meanwhile, Bud and Kelly wait in a long line for concert tickets and keep moving back as people exploit their weaknesses.

Note: Rick Dees guest stars in a voice-over role as himself.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=179

|EpisodeNumber2=22

|Title=Ride Scare

|DirectedBy=Sam W. Orender

|WrittenBy=Nancy Neufeld

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1994|4|25}}

|ProdCode=824

|Viewers = 16.1{{cite news|title=Nielsen ratings|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=April 27, 1994}}

|ShortSummary=Al is forced to carpool by Marcy and her group's green initiative (Cleaner Greener Chicago). His carpool, consisting of him and three plus-sized models, is chosen to promote a campaign to clean up Chicago. Bud makes the Dean's list due to good grades and no one appreciates him as much as they cheer Kelly when she gets a raise.

Note: In 2005, TV Land included this episode as part of its '100 Most Unexpected Moments in TV History', ranking it number 73.{{cite news |title=TV Guide and TV Land Join Forces To Count Down The 100 Most Unexpected TV Moments |url=http://sev.prnewswire.com/television/20051201/NYTH02201122005-1.html |access-date=March 7, 2021 |work=PR Newswire |date=December 1, 2005 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20060830195947/http://sev.prnewswire.com/television/20051201/NYTH02201122005-1.html |archive-date=August 30, 2006}}

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=180

|EpisodeNumber2=23

|Title=The Legend of Ironhead Haynes

|DirectedBy=Gerry Cohen

|WrittenBy=Katherine Green

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1994|5|2}}

|ProdCode=821

|Viewers = 17.1{{cite news|title=Nielsen ratings|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=May 4, 1994}}

|ShortSummary=Al is threatened that he would lose his parking space if he insulted another fat woman. After dodging off Marcy's attempts, he finally ends up insulting a fat woman. He loses his precious parking space, which leads to his men's club "NO MA'AM" seeking out to find a legendary guru, named Ironhead Haynes (guest star Waylon Jennings), and seek his advice on how to battle modern political correctness. Meanwhile, Bud, Kelly and Peggy steal a full refrigerator from a funeral and hide it from Al in the garage.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=181

|EpisodeNumber2=24

|Title=Assault and Batteries

|DirectedBy=Sam W. Orender

|WrittenBy=David Castro

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1994|5|9}}

|ProdCode=824

|Viewers = 17.4{{cite news|title=ABC keeps hammering away|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=May 11, 1994|author=DeRosa, Robin}}

|ShortSummary=In this special 3D episode, Al, who is hoping to get back home in time to watch John Wayne in Hondo, gets trapped in a store at the mall while trying to exchange batteries when the computers go down and lock everything down, including the doors. Peggy, who is outside, goes on a shopping spree. He then hallucinates that he, his family and the D'Arcys are in the old west. Finally, in a fit of anger and frustration, he grabs a cash register and throws it at the shatterproof window, but it just bounces off and hits him on the head, knocking him out cold. He then awakens at home in time to hear that the next time Hondo will be broadcast is February 18th, 2011. Meanwhile, Kelly and Bud celebrate Buck's birthday after finding his birth certificate in the couch, which Buck hates.

Guest Stars: Jan Hoag, Jean Speegle Howard, Biff Yeager, Cynthia Frost, Craig Benton, Brian Reddy, Gary Simpson, Cheech Marin and Mike McIntosh.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=182

|EpisodeNumber2=25

|Title=Al Goes Deep

|DirectedBy=Amanda Bearse

|WrittenBy=Garry Bowren & Laurie Lee-Goss

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1994|5|16}}

|ProdCode=826

|Viewers = 14.5{{cite news|title=Nielsen ratings|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=May 18, 1994}}

|ShortSummary=Al convinces Jefferson to pool their money and bet Trumane University's homecoming football game to make-up for Jefferson stealing $3,000 of Marcy's tax refund money that Jefferson spent on his expensive clothes. But the star of the football team, named Chad, starts dating Kelly, and it interrupts his training. Al, fearing that he will be killed by mobster bookmakers who have also bet on Chad's team to win, seeks Kelly's help to keep her distance from Chad, but she ends up injuring him. Finally Al plays the game himself. Meanwhile, Peggy goes horribly wrong when she tries to make her own Bonbon.

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{{Episode list/sublist|Married... with Children season 8

|EpisodeNumber=183

|EpisodeNumber2=26

|Title=Kelly Knows Something

|DirectedBy=Amanda Bearse

|WrittenBy=Al Aidekman

|OriginalAirDate={{Start date|1994|5|23}}

|ProdCode=823

|Viewers = 13.2{{cite news|title=Nielsen ratings|department=Life|work=USA Today|page=3D|date=May 25, 1994}}

|ShortSummary=Al auditions to be on a sports trivia show to win $10,000 when his TV breaks down. But when the producer rejects him for having no personality, Al trains the dim-witted Kelly to be a contestant. Todd Christensen guest stars.

Note: Amanda Bearse does not appear in this episode.

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{{reflist}}

• {{IMDb episodes|0092400}}
• {{epguides|MarriedWithChildren}}

{{Married... with Children}}

{{Wikiquote}}

Category:1993 American television seasons

Category:1994 American television seasons

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