Mary Jo Buttafuoco

Buttafuoco met her husband Joey while studying in high school.{{cite book |first1=Mary Jo |last1=Buttafuoco |first2=Julie |last2=(with) McCarron |title=Getting It Through My Thick Skull: Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know |year=2009 |publisher=Health Communications Inc. |location=Deerfield Beach |isbn=978-0-7573-1372-1 |url=https://archive.org/details/gettingitthrough00butt |chapter=A Match Made in Massapequa |chapter-url=https://archive.org/details/gettingitthrough00butt/page/48/mode/2up?q=married |page=49–50 |url-access=limited |via=Internet Archive text collection}} After graduation, she worked at a bank near Huntington in Suffolk County, New York. After a five year courtship, they married in 1977 and moved to a house in nearby Baldwin, Nassau County. In 1986, after their two children were born, the family moved to a house in Massapequa;{{cite book |first1=Mary Jo |last1=Buttafuoco |first2=Julie |last2=(with) McCarron |title=Getting It Through My Thick Skull: Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know |year=2009 |publisher=Health Communications Inc. |location=Deerfield Beach |isbn=978-0-7573-1372-1 |url=https://archive.org/details/gettingitthrough00butt |chapter=Going Bonkers in Baldwin |chapter-url=https://archive.org/details/gettingitthrough00butt/page/70/mode/2up?q=house |page=71-72 |url-access=limited |via=Internet Archive text collection}} the day before the purchase closed on their new house, she learned that Joey{{snd}}to cover his outstanding cocaine debts{{snd}}had signed over the deed on the Baldwin house to his drug dealer.

On May 19, 1992, Buttafuoco was shot in the face by 17-year-old Amy Fisher, who at the time was having an affair with Buttafuoco's then husband Joey.{{cite news|url=http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-22504795.html|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20140611120125/http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-22504795.html|url-status=dead|archive-date=June 11, 2014|title=Rape Charges Denied at Buttafuoco Hearing|last=Milton|first=Pat|date=April 15, 1993|newspaper=The Buffalo News|accessdate=November 19, 2012}} Fisher had come to the Buttafuocos' house to confront Buttafuoco about Joey, with whom she had been having an affair since July 1991 after Fisher brought her vehicle to Buttafuoco's auto body shop in Baldwin, Nassau County, New York. When Buttafuoco answered the door, Fisher—posing as her own (fictitious) sister Ann Marie—offered, as proof of the affair, a T-shirt that Joey had given her with the logo of his auto body shop on it. This confrontation escalated when Buttafuoco demanded that Fisher leave. She turned to go into the house and call Joey when Fisher shot her in the face with a .25 caliber semiautomatic pistol. Once Buttafuoco regained consciousness, she identified Fisher as her assailant from the T-shirt Fisher had shown her before the shooting.{{Cite web|url=http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/young/amy_fisher/index.html|title=Amy Fisher, The Long Island Lolita who tried to murder Mary Jo Buttafuoco - Crime Library on truTV.com|date=December 2, 2008|access-date=October 16, 2017|url-status=bot: unknown|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20081202011908/http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/young/amy_fisher/index.html|archive-date=December 2, 2008}} Buttafuoco was left deafened in one ear and her face partially paralyzed.{{Cite news|url=http://people.com/crime/nearly-25-years-after-being-shot-by-amy-fisher-mary-jo-buttafuoco-calls-ex-husband-a-sociopath/|title=Nearly 25 Years After Being Shot by Amy Fisher, Mary Jo Buttafuoco Calls Ex-Husband a 'Sociopath'|last=Helling|first=Steve|date=November 18, 2016|magazine=People|access-date=April 21, 2024|language=en-US}}

Fisher was sentenced to 15 years in prison. She served seven years and was granted parole in May 1999. Joey Buttafuoco pleaded guilty to one count of statutory rape and served four months in jail.{{cite web |first=Charles |last=Montaldo |title=Joey Buttafuoco – Celebrity Mug Shot |website=crime.about.com |url=http://crime.about.com/library/blbuttafuoco.htm |access-date=July 24, 2006 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20110721030149/http://crime.about.com/library/blbuttafuoco.htm |archive-date=July 21, 2011 |url-status=dead}} Buttafuoco and her husband later moved to Southern California.{{cite web |author= |title=Ultimate Betrayals |website=oprah.com |date=May 5, 2006 |url=https://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/ultimate-betrayals |access-date=April 21, 2024 |archive-url=https://archive.today/20240421172654/https://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/ultimate-betrayals |archive-date=April 21, 2024 |url-status=live}} She stayed defensively loyal to her husband for several years,{{Cite magazine |first=Jennifer |last=Latson |title=Why the 'Long Island Lolita' Couldn't Break Up the Buttafuocos |magazine=Time |date=May 22, 2015 |url=https://time.com/3856097/buttafuocos-history/ |access-date=February 17, 2025}} labeled "tenaciously patient" when she defended him after he was arrested for sexual solicitation of an undercover Los Angeles Police Department officer in 1995, implying that the officer had misunderstood, and that her husband was guilty of nothing more than being "a very friendly guy".{{cite magazine |author= |title=Milestones Jun. 5, 1995 |magazine=Time |date=June 5, 1995 |quote=Said tenaciously patient wife Mary Jo: "My husband is a very friendly guy." |url=https://content.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,983016,00.html |url-access=subscription |access-date=February 17, 2025}} She eventually filed divorce papers in Ventura County Superior Court on February 3, 2003.{{cite news |agency=Associated Press |title=Joey Buttafuoco, wife getting divorce |newspaper=Aspen Daily News |date=May 7, 2003 |url=https://www.coloradohistoricnewspapers.org/?a=d&d=ADN20030507-01.2.53&e=-------en-20--1--img-txIN%7ctxCO%7ctxTA--------0------ |access-date=February 17, 2025}}

In 2006, Buttafuoco underwent a facial reanimation procedure with facial plastic surgeon Babak Azizzadeh, involving static facial suspension, face lift, and eye lift procedures. These surgeries restored balance and gave her back her ability to smile. Next was surgery to widen the ear canal, which improved her hearing and prevented future infections. She also underwent physical therapy to strengthen her facial muscles, which she explained in an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Buttafuoco was pleased with the results, stating, "It’s the first time in 25 years that when I smile, I can see the side of my teeth."{{cite magazine |first=Steve |last=Helling |title=Mary Jo Buttafuoco: 25 Years After Being Shot in the Face, She Can Smile Again Thanks to Nerve Surgery |magazine=People |date=October 5, 2017 |url=https://people.com/crime/mary-jo-buttafuoco-surgery-face-joey-buttafuocco/ |access-date=April 21, 2024 |archive-url=https://archive.today/20240421170117/https://people.com/crime/mary-jo-buttafuoco-surgery-face-joey-buttafuocco/ |archive-date=April 21, 2024 |url-status=live}}

In 2009, Health Communications released Buttafuoco's memoir, Getting It Through My Thick Skull: Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know.{{cite book |first1=Mary Jo |last1=Buttafuoco |first2=Julie |last2=(with) McCarron |title=Getting It Through My Thick Skull: Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know |year=2009 |publisher=Health Communications Inc. |location=Deerfield Beach |isbn=978-0-7573-1372-1 |url=https://archive.org/details/gettingitthrough00butt |url-access=limited |via=Internet Archive text collection}} She was inspired to write the book after her son referred to her ex-husband as a sociopath. Not knowing what the word meant, she looked it up and had a realization which led to her going public with her story. The title of the book comes from a saying her mother often used with her, "When are you going to get it through your thick skull?"{{Cite web|url=https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Books/story?id=8164896&page=1/|title=READ EXCERPT: 'Getting It Through My Thick Skull,' by Mary Jo Buttafuoco|date=July 27, 2009|publisher=ABC News|access-date=October 16, 2017}}{{Cite news|url=https://www.publishersweekly.com/9780757313721|title=Nonfiction Book Review: Getting It Through My Thick Skull: Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know|work=Publishers Weekly|access-date=August 25, 2017|language=en}} The memoir describes her life, not just focusing on her shooting. She describes how she felt manipulated to stay with a person who was a sociopath. Booklist called the memoir, which was published in July 2009, "strangely compelling," and said that "Readers will want to know – why did she stay with him?"{{fact|date=April 2024}}

Buttafuoco has used her story to raise awareness of facial paralysis.{{Cite web|url=http://ktla.com/2016/10/11/mary-jo-buttafuoco-speaks-out-to-raise-awareness-for-facial-paralysis/|title=Mary Jo Buttafuoco Speaks Out to Raise Awareness for Facial Paralysis|last=McDade|first=Mary Beth|date=October 11, 2016|website=KTLA|access-date=August 25, 2017}}

Buttafuoco has two children: Paul Buttafuoco and Jessica Buttafuoco.{{Citation|author=Winfrey, Oprah|title=Exclusive: Mary Jo Buttafuoco's Daughter Speaks Out: Where Are They Now|publisher=Oprah Winfrey Network|via=YouTube|language=en-US|url-status=live|url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pdmuo2kbglg|date=October 10, 2012|access-date=April 21, 2024|archive-date=April 21, 2024|archive-url=https://ghostarchive.org/varchive/Pdmuo2kbglg}} In 2012, Buttafuoco married Stu Tendler in Las Vegas. Tendler died from cancer in 2018.{{Cite news|url=http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/mary-jo-buttafuoco-remarries-20-years-shot-face-ex-hubby-teen-lover-article-1.1028801|title=Mary Jo Buttafuoco remarries in Las Vegas|last1=Chen|first1=Joyce|date=February 26, 2012|work=Daily News|access-date=August 25, 2017|last2=Feiden|first2=Douglas|language=en-US}}

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• [http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Mary-Jo-Speaks Article about Mary Jo Buttafuoco's November 2005 appearance] on The Oprah Winfrey Show

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Category:1955 births

Category:21st-century American writers

Category:21st-century American women writers

Category:American shooting survivors

Category:American victims of crime

Category:Living people

Category:Massapequa High School alumni

Category:Writers from New York (state)