Never Mind the Quality, Feel the Width
{{Short description|British television sitcom (1967–1971)}}
{{Use British English|date=August 2012}}
{{Use dmy dates|date=January 2020}}
{{Infobox television
| image = Never Mind the Quality, Feel the Width.jpg
| genre = Sitcom
| creator = Vince Powell
Harry Driver
| starring = John Bluthal
Joe Lynch
Bernard Spear
Cyril Shaps
Eamon Kelly
| country = United Kingdom
| num_series = 6 (+ pilot)
| num_episodes = 41 (including mini Christmas special)
| runtime = 30 minutes
| producer = Leonard White
Ronnie Baxter
Stuart Allen
Alan Tarrant
| company = ABC Weekend TV
(pilot + series 1–2)
Thames Television
(series 3–6)
| network = ITV
| first_aired = {{start date|1967|2|18|df=yes}}
| last_aired = {{end date|1971|9|14|df=yes}}
}}
Never Mind the Quality, Feel the Width is a British television sitcom first broadcast in 1967 as a single play in the Armchair Theatre anthology series, later becoming a series of half-hour episodes, which ran until 1971. A total of 40 episodes were made; along with a mini episode that was featured in ITV's All Star Comedy Carnival in 1969.{{Cite news |date=December 26, 1969 |title=A Star Studded Christmas |pages=14 |work=Staffordshire Newsletter |url=https://www.britishnewspaperarchive.co.uk/viewer/bl/0003680/19691226/230/0014}}
It was originally made by ABC Weekend TV for the ITV network, with its production being continued by Thames Television from the 1968 Christmas special onwards.
Plot
The plot revolves around two tailors in business together. Manny Cohen, played by John Bluthal, is Jewish, and Patrick Kelly, played by Joe Lynch, is Irish Catholic. Above their shop works Lewtas (Bernard Spear), who is also Jewish and imports cloth. Two further prominent characters in the first three series are Rabbi Levy (Christopher Benjamin in the pilot, thereafter Cyril Shaps) from the local synagogue, and Father Ryan (Denis Carey in the pilot, thereafter Eamon Kelly) from the local Catholic church.
One episode features Manny and Patrick trading the rights to display their pictures around the shop. Patrick has two pictures of the Pope on the wall, while Manny has one of Moshe Dayan. Manny's comment is "It's the going rate. Two Popes to one Moshe." Another episode, "The Not So Kosher Cantor", has Patrick, a talented singer, filling in at the synagogue for a sick cantor, on the occasion of a visit by the Chief Rabbi. Coached to sing phonetically in Hebrew, Patrick performs, every moment milked for comedic value. Finally, the Chief Rabbi congratulates Patrick but reveals he knows something is up. When asked how he knows, he replies that at the end of the service, "you genuflected and made the sign of the cross!"
Cast
- John Bluthal as Manny Cohen
- Joe Lynch as Patrick Kelly
- Bernard Spear as Lewtas (16 episodes; series 3 to 6)
- Cyril Shaps as Rabbi Levy (9 episodes; series 1 to 3)
- Eamon Kelly as Father Ryan (7 episodes; series 1 to 3)
- Jim Norton as Father Ignatious (2 episodes; series 5 and 6)
- Meier Tzelniker as Israel Bloom (2 episodes; series 3 and 5)
- Rose Power as Mrs Critchley (2 episodes; series 3 and 5)
Notable guest artists include film actors Dennis Price as a Savile Row tailor and Rupert Davies as a Roman Catholic bishop, Fred Emney, Harold Bennett, David Kossoff (playing himself), Jack Smethurst, Frank Williams, Bill Pertwee, comedian Dick Bentley, Roy Marsden, Victor Maddern, Barbara Knox (credited as Barbara Mullaney), Roy Barraclough, George A. Cooper, Rita Webb, Michael Robbins, and Ellen Pollock as Manny's mother Ruby.
Film adaptation
{{main|Never Mind the Quality Feel the Width (film)}}
In 1973, Bluthal and Lynch reprised their roles in a film spin-off.
DVD release
A 4-disc set of the show, containing the Thames TV series, was released on DVD in 28 June 2010, by Network.{{Cite web |date=June 28, 2010 |title=Never Mind The Quality, Feel The Width |url=https://www.comedy.co.uk/tv/never_mind_the_quality/shop/1660/feel_the_width_dvd/ |website=British Comedy Guide}} An episode from the ABC era (Man Shall Not Live By Bread Alone) was featured in a boxset titled ABC Nights In, which was also released by Network on 22 December 2020.{{Cite web |title=ABC Nights In - Don't Go Away, I Could Do With A Bit Of Cheer Right Now |url=https://www.comedy.co.uk/shop/item/7014/abc-nights-in-dont-go-away-i-could-do-with-a-bit-of-cheer-right-now/ |website=British Comedy Guide}}
Episodes
The pilot and the first two series were produced by ABC; however, the second series (of six episodes) did not air until just after Thames Television launched on 30 July 1968, which initially aired the six episodes from that series over August and September that year. Of the 40 episodes made, 11 are believed to no longer exist. These are the pilot, five of the six episodes from Series 1, and five of the six episodes from Series 2.{{Cite web |title=Never Mind the Quality, Feel the Width |url=https://www.tvbrain.info/tv-archive?showname=never+mind+the+quality%2C+feel+the+width&type=lostshow |website=TV Brain}}
=Pilot (1967)=
{{Episode table |background=#6495ED |overall=5 |series=5 |title=46 |aux2=22 |aux2T=Archival Status |airdate=22 |episodes=
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 1
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1
| Title = Never Mind the Quality, Feel the Width
| Aux2 = Missing
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1967|2|18|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
}}
=Series One (1967)=
{{Episode table |background=#6495ED |overall=5 |series=5 |title=46 |aux2=22 |aux2T=Archival Status |airdate=22 |episodes=
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 2
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1
| Title = Cohen & Kelly
| Aux2 = Missing
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1967|11|25|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 3
| EpisodeNumber2 = 2
| Title = Not So Much A Sanctuary, More A Penance
| Aux2 = Missing
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1967|12|2|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 4
| EpisodeNumber2 = 3
| Title = Remember That Thou Keep Holy
| Aux2 = Missing
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1967|12|9|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 5
| EpisodeNumber2 = 4
| Title = Man Shall Not Live By Bread Alone
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1967|12|16|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 6
| EpisodeNumber2 = 5
| Title = Leopards Can Change Their Spots
| Aux2 = Missing
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1967|12|23|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 7
| EpisodeNumber2 = 6
| Title = A Flower of Israel
| Aux2 = Missing
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1967|12|30|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
}}
=Series Two (1968)=
{{Episode table |background=#6495ED |overall=5 |series=5 |title=46 |aux2=22 |aux2T=Archival Status |airdate=22 |episodes=
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 8
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1
| Title = And a Yamulka to Match
| Aux2 = Missing
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1968|8|13|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 9
| EpisodeNumber2 = 2
| Title = A Madonna For Manny
| Aux2 = Missing
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1968|8|20|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 10
| EpisodeNumber2 = 3
| Title = And Leave the Rest of the World Behind
| Aux2 = Missing
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1968|9|3|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 11
| EpisodeNumber2 = 4
| Title = A Suit Fit for a Prince
| Aux2 = Missing
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1968|9|10|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 12
| EpisodeNumber2 = 5
| Title = Hello Mother, Hello Father
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1968|9|17|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 13
| EpisodeNumber2 = 6
| Title = All That Glitters is Not Gelt
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1968|9|24|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
}}
=Christmas Special (1968)=
{{Episode table |background=#6495ED |overall=5 |series=5 |title=46 |aux2=22 |aux2T=Archival Status |airdate=22 |episodes=
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 14
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1
| Title = I'm Dreaming of a Kosher Christmas
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1968|12|26|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
}}
=Series Three (1969)=
{{Episode table |background=#6495ED |overall=5 |series=5 |title=46 |aux2=22 |aux2T=Archival Status |airdate=22 |episodes=
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 15
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1
| Title = Old Soldiers Never Die
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1969|8|21|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 16
| EpisodeNumber2 = 2
| Title = Situations Vacant
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1969|8|28|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 17
| EpisodeNumber2 = 3
| Title = David Kossoff? He's a Friend of Mine
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1969|9|4|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 18
| EpisodeNumber2 = 4
| Title = Arrividerci Roma
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1969|9|11|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 19
| EpisodeNumber2 = 5
| Title = It's the Thourght that Counts
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1969|9|18|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 20
| EpisodeNumber2 = 6
| Title = And a Brother a Priest
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1969|9|25|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
}}
=Christmas Special (1969)=
{{Episode table |background=#6495ED |overall=5 |series=5 |title=46 |aux2=22 |aux2T=Archival Status |airdate=22 |episodes=
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 21
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1
| Title = "All Star Comedy Carnival" (mini episode)
| Aux2 = Missing
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1969|12|25|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
}}
=Series Four (1970)=
{{Episode table |background=#6495ED |overall=5 |series=5 |title=46 |aux2=22 |aux2T=Archival Status |airdate=22 |episodes=
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 22
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1
| Title = Blood is Thinner than Water
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1970|6|25|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 23
| EpisodeNumber2 = 2
| Title = Without Prejudice
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1970|7|2|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 24
| EpisodeNumber2 = 3
| Title = New Worlds for Old
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1970|7|9|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 25
| EpisodeNumber2 = 4
| Title = What You've Never Had, You Never Miss
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1970|7|16|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 26
| EpisodeNumber2 = 5
| Title = Miracles to Measure
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1970|7|23|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 27
| EpisodeNumber2 = 6
| Title = Only Four Can Play
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1970|7|30|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
}}
=Series Five (1970–71)=
{{Episode table |background=#6495ED |overall=5 |series=5 |title=46 |aux2=22 |aux2T=Archival Status |airdate=22 |episodes=
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 28
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1
| Title = And Ecumenicals to You
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1970|12|15|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 29
| EpisodeNumber2 = 2
| Title = I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1970|12|22|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 30
| EpisodeNumber2 = 3
| Title = Twenty Years On
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1970|12|29|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 31
| EpisodeNumber2 = 4
| Title = A Question of Policy
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1971|1|5|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 32
| EpisodeNumber2 = 5
| Title = The Not So Kosher Cantor
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1971|1|12|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 33
| EpisodeNumber2 = 6
| Title = And Nobody Knew They Were There
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1971|1|19|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 34
| EpisodeNumber2 = 7
| Title = You Will Go To The Ball, Manny Cohen
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1971|1|26|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
}}
Episodes 1, 3, 4 and 7 of Series 5 were made in black-and-white due to the ITV Colour Strike.
=Series Six (1971)=
{{Episode table |background=#6495ED |overall=5 |series=5 |title=46 |aux2=22 |aux2T=Archival Status |airdate=22 |episodes=
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 35
| EpisodeNumber2 = 1
| Title = Manny Cohen R.I.P.
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1971|8|3|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 36
| EpisodeNumber2 = 2
| Title = Romeo Cohen and Juliet Weinberg
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1971|8|10|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 37
| EpisodeNumber2 = 3
| Title = Holiday with Kosher Strings
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1971|8|17|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 38
| EpisodeNumber2 = 4
| Title = There's No Smoke Without Fire
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1971|8|24|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 39
| EpisodeNumber2 = 5
| Title = Weavers to Wearers
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1971|8|31|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 40
| EpisodeNumber2 = 6
| Title = Daylight Robbery
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1971|9|7|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
{{Episode list
| EpisodeNumber = 41
| EpisodeNumber2 = 7
| Title = Mix Me a Marriage
| Aux2 = Exists
| OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1971|9|14|df=y}}
| ShortSummary =
| LineColor = #6495ED
}}
}}
See also
References
{{reflist}}
External links
- {{British Comedy Guide|tv|never_mind_the_quality}}
- {{IMDb title|0163470}}
- [http://phill.co.uk/comedy/quality/ Never Mind the Quality, Feel the Width] at the British TV Online Resources
{{Vince Powell}}
{{Armchair Theatre}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Never Mind The Quality Feel The Width}}
Category:1960s British sitcoms
Category:1970s British sitcoms
Category:1967 British television series debuts
Category:1971 British television series endings
Category:British English-language television shows
Category:Television shows produced by ABC Weekend TV
Category:Television shows produced by Thames Television
Category:Television shows adapted into films