Superficial charm

{{Short description|Flattery, telling people what they want to hear}}

Superficial charm (or insincere charm) is the social act of saying or doing things because they are well received by others, rather than what one actually believes or wants to do. It is sometimes referred to as "telling people what they want to hear".{{cite book|title=Ingratiation: A social psychologist analysis|last=Jones|first=E.E.|publisher=Appleton-Century-Croft|year=1964|location=New York, New York}} Generally, superficial charm is an effective way to ingratiate or persuade{{cite web |last1=Valdesolo |first1=Piercarlo |title=Flattery Will Get You Far |url=https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/flattery-will-get-you-far/ |website=Scientific American United scientificamerican.com |publisher=Scientific American, a Division of Springer Nature America, Inc. |access-date=January 12, 2010}} and it is one of the many elements of impression management/self-presentation.Sanaria, A. D. (2016). A conceptual framework for understanding the impression management strategies used by women in indian organizations. South Asian Journal of Human Resources Management, 3(1), 25-39. https://doi.org/10.1177/2322093716631118 https://www.researchgate.net/publication/299373178_A_Conceptual_Framework_for_Understanding_the_Impression_Management_Strategies_Used_by_Women_in_Indian_Organizations It is very strongly correlated with antisocial personality disorder.

Flattery and charm accompanied by obvious ulterior motives is generally not socially appreciated, and most people consider themselves to be skilled at distinguishing sincere compliments from superficial ones; however, researchers have demonstrated that even obviously manipulative charm can be effective.{{cite journal |last1=Chan |first1=Elaine |last2=Sengupta |first2=Jaideep |title=Insincere Flattery Actually Works: A Dual Attitudes Perspective |journal=Journal of Marketing Research |date=February 1, 2010 |volume=47 |issue=1 |pages=122–133 |doi=10.1509/jmkr.47.1.122 |s2cid=144617563 |url=https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1509/jmkr.47.1.122 |access-date=4 January 2022}} While expressed attitudes are negative or dismissive, implicit attitudes are often positively affected. The effectiveness of charm and flattery, in general, stems from the recipient’s natural desire to feel good about one's self.

Although superficial charm can be self damaging, the ability to be superficially charming often leads to success in areas like the theatre, salesmanship, or politics and diplomacy. In excess, being adept in social intelligence and endlessly taking social cues from other people, can lead to the sacrificing of one's motivations and sense of self.{{cite book |last1=Goleman |first1=Daniel |title=Emotional Intelligence |date=1995 |publisher=Bantam Books |location=United States |isbn=978-0553383713}}

Superficial charm can be exploitative. Individuals with antisocial personality disorder, for example, are known to have limited guilt or anxiety when it comes to exploiting others in harmful ways. While intimidation and violence are common means of exploitation, the use of superficial charm is not uncommon.{{cite web|url=https://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/antisocial-personality-disorder|title=Antisocial Personality Disorder|magazine=Psychology Today|publisher=Sussex Publishers|location=New York City|language=en|access-date=18 February 2018}} Superficial charm is listed on the Hare Psychopathy Checklist.