Talk:Carl Zoll

Hi @BeanieFan11, thoughts to come this afternoon. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 17:58, 14 March 2025 (UTC)

Lead/infobox

• {{!tq|He fought against a number of notable wrestlers in his career}} → perhaps {{tq|...a number of prominent wrestlers in his career...}} instead? I'm always hesitant to use the word "notable" in wiki-voice, though maybe that's just WP:PEACOCK in the back of my mind.
• Changed.
• {{!tq|and contended for the World Light Heavyweight Championship in 1920, although he was defeated}} → if you're looking to trim this sentence a bit (or get rid of a comma), you could shorten this by saying {{tq|and unsuccessfully contended for the World Light Heavyweight Championship in 1920.}} Not strictly recommending this, just an option if you (or FA reviewers) think that sentence wanders a bit.
• Changed to your suggestion.
• {{!tq|In addition to wrestling, Zoll also played football.}} → Not in love with this as a standalone sentence since football is mentioned in the first sentence of the previous paragraph; I think you could get away with combining sentences (maybe {{tq|In addition to wrestling, Zoll was a member of the Green Bay Packers in their...}} if you think the link to Green Bay Packers and "in addition to wrestling" constitute enough of a context clue that you've switched to football). Not married to my solution though.
• I think it is helpful to have the football context – someone with no knowledge of football / the Packers could possibly get confused otherwise.

Early life

• Add full name to first sentence of this paragraph so you get it covered by the citation (SR cite in FN 2 covers his full name).
• Done.
• {{!tq|who were notably active in local sports}} - as above
• Done.
• {{!tq|eventually being "the strongest young guy in town,"}} → {{tq|eventually becoming "the strongest young guy in town,"}} perhaps?
• Done.

Professional career § Wrestling

• FA folks might take issue with the big block quote - the quote doesn't look terribly easy to paraphrase but if you could cut it down to a sentence or two I think that would help.
• I kind of liked that quote ... maybe I'll keep it for now and see if anyone at FA complains.
• {{!tq|Green Bay in 1917, and at the time}} → remove comma (WP:CINS)
• Done.
• {{!tq|and noted he could show "a world of speed."}} → move full stop outside quotes ({{tq|show "a world of speed".}}) per MOS:LQ
• Done.
• {{!tq|He tied in a match in April 1918}} → I know "he" refers to Carl, but the last person you mention by name is Martin, which leads to a little ambiguity. Recommend {{tq|Carl tied in a match...}}.
• Done.
• {{!tq|woods for a long time."}} → same LQ issue as above.
• Done.
• {{!tq|he is a hard as nails."}} → same LQ issue, plus I think there's a typo in this portion of the quote (I'm guessing {{tq|as hard as nails}} was intended)
• Done.
• {{!tq|been staged [in] Green Bay."}} → LQ
• Done.
• Is Elmer Saunders notable enough for a redlink?
• Probably; added redlink.
• {{!tq|they were forced to quit."}} → LQ
• Done.
• {{!tq|anybody on earth, anywhere."}} → LQ
• Done.
• {{!tq|Zoll was noted to be "unquestionably...}} → direct quote needs attribution
• Done.
• {{!tq|"Italian champion of the world,"}} → LQ
• Done.
• {{!tq|wrestler on the earth."}} → LQ
• Done.
• {{!tq|when in action."}} → LQ
• Done.
• {{!tq|a "flashy Hindu"}} → I would add attribution to this, seems a little iffy to say in Wiki-voice
• Changed to {{tq|Three months later, he competed at an annual event held by the United Spanish War Veterans and defeated Beno, described in the Associated Press as a "flashy Hindu".}}
• {{!tq|he returned in February 1925 and fought Nazzareno Pogi, the Italian heavyweight champion, being defeated}} → tense switch from past (returned, fought) to present (being)
• Changed to {{tq|After being out of training for an extended period of time, he returned in February 1925 and fought Nazzareno Pogi, the Italian heavyweight champion, but was defeated.}}
• {{!tq|ahead of him in wrestlling."}} → LQ and typo
• Done.
• {{!tq|out for a match."}} → LQ
• Done.

Professional career § Football

• {{!tq|in the season-finale, by a score of 6–0}} → I think you can ditch the comma here
• Done.
• {{!tq|compared with football."}} → LQ
• Done.
• {{!tq|record of 10–1–1}} → recommend {{tl|Win-loss record}} here
• Done.

Later life and death

• No comments

Overall notes

{{ping|BeanieFan11}} Well done, as always. In my opinion the use of direct quotes is a touch too heavy; I think it would benefit you at FAC to paraphrase a good number of those, but other than that I don't see any major issues. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 21:23, 14 March 2025 (UTC)

• {{ping|PCN02WPS}} Thanks for the review. I think I addressed everything. Regarding the quotes, are there a few you have in mind that I should paraphrase now, or do you think I should just go ahead and nominate it and see what people at FAC suggest? BeanieFan11 (talk) 01:01, 15 March 2025 (UTC)
• {{ping|PCN02WPS}} Sorry to keep bugging you about this, but do you think there's anything else I should do or is it decent enough to nominate now? BeanieFan11 (talk) 16:32, 17 March 2025 (UTC)
• :@BeanieFan11 As far as your question from Saturday, I think it's less a matter of specific quotes needing a paraphrase than it is an overall higher frequency of quotes than usual (in my experience, at least). It certainly wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me at FAC, so you could probably go ahead and nominate it - if you want to potentially get ahead of the issue, I'd focus on Professional career § Wrestling ("Later career" in particular). PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 16:34, 17 March 2025 (UTC)
• :: Thanks. I cut two quotes for now – I think I'll make the nomination later today. BeanieFan11 (talk) 16:42, 17 March 2025 (UTC)
• :::Sweet, I'll be on the lookout and I'll throw you a support since I don't have any more comments prose-wise. I can also tackle the source review at FAC if you want, just let me know. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 16:46, 17 March 2025 (UTC)