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Talk:Drizzt Do'Urden/GA1‎

GA Review

{{al|{{#titleparts:Drizzt Do'Urden/GA1|-1}}|noname=yes}}
:This review is transcluded from Talk:Drizzt Do'Urden/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Hi, I am reviewing this article for GA. All in all, the article looks fine. My initial comments are below. —Mattisse (Talk) 19:39, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

;Comments

  • See WP:MoS#Overlinking - you have fantasy wikilinked twice in lead. Plus common words like novel do not need linking. (Besides, you have graphic novels linked.)
  • "For instance, Drizzt is concerned that any children of his and his love Cattie-Brie (a human) would face hostility from both races" - not exactly sure what you mean - "concerned that none of his children" , or "concerned whether any of his children" or .... "concerned", meaning troubled if any of his children, interested in whether...
  • "concerned with the lifespan discrepancy" - do you mean "disturbed over", or "interested in"
  • "Salvatore created Drizzt, who is not based on the author, on a whim" - "who is not based on the author" seems unnecessary, like a non sequitor, are his characters usually based on the author?
  • "convinced her it would be alright" - "alright" seems a little too informal for an encyclopedia
  • what is "an elven child"?
  • in the section "Fictional character biography" could you combine some of the paragraphs to reduce chopiness? And also vary wording some. (You have three paras in a row that start with "Drizzt".)
  • "author R.A. Salvatore is best known as his creator" - and Drizzt is author R.A. Salvatore is best known creation"? - or some wording you like
  • "debuted at 4 on The New York Times's bestseller list and 2 on Publisher's Weekly bestseller list. The Lone Drow debuted at 7" - think you should use #4, #2, #7 etc.
  • "Reception" - can you expand this section to include some more specific examples of what reviewers thought?
  • "References" - I can't figure out why the first two references have extra periods in them.

I will place the article on hold.

—Mattisse (Talk) 19:39, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

:Thanks for the review. I'll get right on it. - Peregrine Fisher (talk) (contribs) 19:46, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

::Just FYI—the extra period in that first ref is because {{Tl|Cite journal}} is missing the title parameter. Pagrashtak 20:55, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

:::Thanks. Missed that.

:::I think I fixed the issues you mentioned. [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Drizzt_Do%27Urden&diff=265785398&oldid=265758367 Here's the diff]. I could only find two actual book reviews from reliables sources. Hopefully the bio part isn't choppy. If you have any more suggestions, I look forward to them. - Peregrine Fisher (talk) (contribs) 21:40, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

  • "Every novel featuring Drizzt by Salvatore has made..." - are there novels featuring Drizzt that are not by Salvatore?
  • "The character is a breadwinner for Salvatore..." - seems too slangy for encyclopedia.
  • Is Drizzt an elf? (I saw your link to Elf (Dungeons & Dragons) further down.

Otherwise, very good! —Mattisse (Talk) 23:47, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

:Fixed breadwinner. I don't think anyone else has ever published a novel with Drizzt. It's hard to prove a negative. I haven't run across any in the past few weeks and umpteen google searches. Apparently there was an unpublished novel, The Shores of Dusk, by Mark Anthony. It has an isbn ([http://books.google.com/books?id=3cWIAAAACAAJ&dq=isbn:9780786907410&ei=Vgh5SaWkPIS6kQS8rvWaAw see here]) but I'm pretty sure it was never published. [http://www.candlekeep.com/library/rumors/rumor6.htm Here] is the story, but it's not what we would consider a reliable source, although I'm sure it's true. I can't find anything reliable on it, so I've left that out. I changed it to saying how many books he has written ([http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Drizzt_Do%27Urden&curid=401088&diff=265816828&oldid=265812799#cite_ref-20 diff]). - Peregrine Fisher (talk) (contribs) 00:18, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

::He's a drow. It's linked in the lede. A drow is a type of evil elf with dark skin. - Peregrine Fisher (talk) (contribs) 00:23, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

  • Ok, very nice job! —Mattisse (Talk) 00:30, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

Final GA review (see here for criteria)

  1. It is reasonably well written.
  2. :a (prose): Well written {{GAList/check|aye}} b (MoS): Follows MoS {{GAList/check|aye}}
  3. ::
  4. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
  5. :a (references): Well referenced {{GAList/check|aye}} b (citations to reliable sources): Sources are reliable {{GAList/check|aye}} c (OR): No OR {{GAList/check|aye}}
  6. ::
  7. It is broad in its coverage.
  8. :a (major aspects): Sets the context {{GAList/check|aye}} b (focused): Remains focused on subject {{GAList/check|aye}}
  9. ::
  10. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
  11. :Fair representation without bias: NPOV {{GAList/check|aye}}
  12. ::
  13. It is stable.
  14. :No edit wars etc.: {{GAList/check|aye}}
  15. ::
  16. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
  17. :a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): {{GAList/check|aye}} b (appropriate use with suitable captions): {{GAList/check|aye}}
  18. ::
  19. Overall:
  20. :Pass/Fail: {{GAList/check|aye}}
  21. ::

Congratulations!

—Mattisse (Talk) 00:30, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

:Thanks again. - Peregrine Fisher (talk) (contribs) 00:32, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

::Wow, thanks. :) BOZ (talk) 00:53, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

:::Great! Thanks for the review!

::::Show up late to the party and all the good snacks are gone! ;) Great job everyone! Web Warlock (talk) 14:55, 23 January 2009 (UTC)