Talk:Michael O'Kane/GA1

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| result = Passed. It is a wonderful world (talk) 15:23, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

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{{al|{{#titleparts:Michael O'Kane/GA1|-1}}|noname=yes}}
:This review is transcluded from Talk:Michael O'Kane/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: {{User|Ergo Sum}} 21:46, 3 November 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: It is a wonderful world (talk · contribs) 11:01, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

Looks like you are working through the College of the Holy Cross presidents!

There is quite a jump between the first and second paragraphs of the lead. I think it should fill in a little bit, perhaps with a mention that he continued studying theology, and became a teacher.

• Added a transitional sentence. Ergo Sum 15:03, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

"and he proceeded"

• Done. Ergo Sum 14:56, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

{{Green|This left the college overcrowded. This required...}}: Lacks flow

• Fixed. Ergo Sum 14:57, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

{{Green|This required O'Kane to turn away some prospective students, divide classes, and hold some classes at night. As a result, revenues increased, in January 1890, O'Kane revived plans begun under Edward D. Boone to construct a new building. By 1891, construction was underway.}}: I think punctuate in the following manner to avoid the comma splice: "This required O'Kane to turn away some prospective students, divide classes, and hold some sessions at night. As a result, revenues increased. In January 1890, O'Kane revived plans begun under Edward D. Boone to construct a new building, and by 1891, construction was underway."

• Done. Ergo Sum 15:01, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

Link "Edward A. McGurk"

• Done. Ergo Sum 14:57, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

I think the information about O'Kane hall would fit better in the College of the Holy Cross section

• Moved it. Ergo Sum 15:00, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

{{Green|which [put] the college in significant debt}}

• Done. Ergo Sum 14:58, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

Last two Woodstock Letter sources need authors

• The authors are unknown. The Woodstock Letters often published articles without attributing their authors. Ergo Sum 14:59, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

Mostly reliable books, with two citations to the College of the Holy Cross website.

[1a]: {{tick}}

[2]: {{tick}}

[1b]: {{tick}}

[3a]: {{tick}}

[7b]: {{tick}}

[12]: {{tick}}

Doesn't seem to be missing anything

Neither Earwig nor my spot check found any too close paraphrases.

Tagged appropriately

:{{ping|It is a wonderful world}} Thank you for your review. I've responded to each of your comments. Ergo Sum 15:03, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

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