The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

{{Redirect|The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything|the song|The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything (song)}}

{{Infobox film

| name = The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

| image = Pirates who dont do anything poster.jpg

| caption = Theatrical release poster

| director = Mike Nawrocki

| writer = Phil Vischer

| based_on = {{Based on|VeggieTales|Phil Vischer
Mike Nawrocki}}

| producer = {{ubl|Phil Vischer|Mike Nawrocki||David Pitts|Paula Marcus}}

| starring = {{ubl|Phil Vischer|Mike Nawrocki|Laura Gerow|Yuri Lowenthal|Cam Clarke|Alan Lee|Tim Hodge|}}

| editing = John Wahba

| music = Kurt Heinecke

| studio = {{ubl|Big Idea|Starz Animation}}

| distributor = Universal Pictures

| released = {{Film date|2008|1|11|United States}}

| runtime = 85 minutes

| country = United States

| language = English

| budget = $15 million{{Cite web|url=https://bombreport.com/yearly-breakdowns/2008-2/the-pirates-who-dont-do-anything/|title=The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything|website=Bomb Report|date=October 14, 2019 |access-date=April 27, 2023|archive-date=April 27, 2023|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230427035311/https://bombreport.com/yearly-breakdowns/2008-2/the-pirates-who-dont-do-anything/|url-status=live}}{{Better source needed|date=April 2023}}

| gross = $13.2 million {{cite web | url=https://www.boxofficemojo.com/title/tt0475998/?ref_=bo_se_r_1 | title=The Pirates Who Don't do Anything | access-date=February 24, 2023 | archive-date=February 24, 2023 | archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230224205329/https://www.boxofficemojo.com/title/tt0475998/?ref_=bo_se_r_1 | url-status=live }}

}}

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie is a 2008 American animated family adventure comedy film directed by Mike Nawrocki, written by Phil Vischer, produced by Big Idea and distributed by Universal Pictures. It is the second of the two theatrical films to feature characters from the VeggieTales video series following Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie in 2002, and is the only VeggieTales media that does not explicitly mention God or Biblical morals. However, several scenes parallel Scripture, such as characters not knowing when the King will return.{{Citation needed|date=April 2023}} This is also the final film in the franchise to feature any involvement from Vischer and Nawrocki before their departure from Big Idea in 2021 over creative differences.{{Cite web |date=2021-06-29 |title=Phil Vischer on Twitter: "(Because this tweet confused people… Mike and Kurt were fired 5-7 years ago to save $. Mike and I recently asked to have a larger role in VT - other than freelance voice talent. We were told “no,” and our voices are now being recast. Hence the bittersweet theme song tweet.)" |url=https://web.archive.org/web/20210629172649/https://twitter.com/philvischer/status/1409926275683307522 |access-date=2025-04-16 |website=web.archive.org}}

The film was released in theaters on January 11, 2008, to mixed reviews from critics, who criticized the script but praised the animation. The film was a box-office bomb, grossing only $13 million worldwide on a $15 million budget. Another theatrical VeggieTales film titled LarryBoy, is set to release in theaters in 2026 by Universal Pictures.

Plot

In the 17th Century, the pirate Robert the Terrible attacks and boards one of the Kingdom of Monterria's ships, capturing his teenage nephew Prince Alexander. Eluding the pirates, Alexander's younger sister Princess Eloise and her servant Willory (played by Archibald Asparagus) send a device that the king made, called a "Helpseeker," to find heroes to save Alexander.

In modern times, three misfits: the passive George (played by Pa Grape), the lazy Sedgewick (played by Mr. Lunt), and the timid Elliot (played by Larry the Cucumber) are employees at a pirate-themed dinner theater. Although they want to be seen as heroes by their loved ones, as lowly cabin boys they believe their dream is unattainable. After accidentally damaging the set while auditioning for the show one night, they are fired and thrown into an alley. The Helpseeker locates them and, after Elliot activates the device, transports the trio to Monterria.

Meeting the Princess and Willory, the group sets off to Jolly Joe's Tavern where they learn that Pirate Robert, the younger brother of the king before being banished, has kidnapped Alexander in the hopes of exacting revenge on the king. Setting sail in search of the whereabouts of Robert's hideout, the pirate's men capture Eloise and Willory. As George and Elliot continue on their quest, a cowardly Sedgewick decides to stay behind in a cave filled with "cheese curls". After the two leave, Sedgewick discovers the curls are instead living worm-like creatures which chase him out of the cave, forcing him to overcome his fear and laziness.

Meanwhile, George and Elliot arrive on an island populated by a rock giant family, who help them make it to Robert's fortress. Sedgewick meets up with them, having swum the ocean being chased by the living worm-like creatures. Arriving at a hidden bay outside of the fortress, the trio are attacked by a giant serpent. However, Elliot realizes the guardian is actually a mechanical device and is able to shut the machine down from inside and save the two. Once inside, George, Sedgewick, and Elliot rescue the prince and princess but are confronted by Robert who demands to know when the king is coming back. With no other choice, George, Sedgewick, and Elliot admit that they are "only cabin boys," and not heroes. But, suddenly, finding his self-respect, George uses a chandelier to knock the pirate down and the group escapes through the fortress's cistern with Robert in hot pursuit. Back in the bay, Robert's ship opens fire on the group's small boat. The king arrives, sinks Robert's ship, and rescues the group.

After receiving medals from the king and being declared heroes, the Helpseeker returns Elliot, George, and Sedgewick to the restaurant. Unbeknownst to them, Robert has stowed away on their trip back to get revenge on them for defeating him and attacks the dinner theater set and mistakes Sir Frederick (played by Jimmy Gourd), one of the stage performers, for George. In a final showdown, the trio defeat Robert and send him back to Monterria. The audience cheer wildly as the gang earn the respect they had desired. Offered a second chance to be in the show, the three refuse and leave to pursue adventure elsewhere one more time as the Helpseeker blinks once again. The film ends with the entire cast singing "Rock Monster", a parody of The B-52's' hit "Rock Lobster". Once they are done singing, Bob the Tomato finally makes his appearance, as the director. Later, Robert is arrested by the King for his crimes as he is shown dancing to the music during the credits along with his imprisoned henchmen.

Voice cast

Phil Vischer as George (Pa Grape), Sedgewick (Mr. Lunt), Willory (Archibald Asparagus), Mr. Hibbing (Mr. Nezzer), Sir Frederick Lewis (Jimmy Gourd), Pirate Spy (Scallion #1), Pirate (Phillipe Pea) and Bob the Tomato
Mike Nawrocki as Elliot (Larry the Cucumber), Pirate (Jean-Claude Pea), Theater Foe, Pirate Spy Sidekick, Pirate with Dummy, Rock Monster Father
Laura Gerow as Princess Eloise
Yuri Lowenthal as Prince Alexander
Cam Clarke as Robert the Terrible and The King
Tim Hodge as Jolly Joe (Charlie Pincher) and the Ship Officer
Megan Murphy as Madame Blueberry
Alan Lee as a Blind Man and One-Eyed Louie
Cydney Trent as Bernadette (Petunia Rhubarb)
Keri Pisapia as Ellen
Sondra Morton Chaffin as Caroline
Drake Lyle as George Jr.
Ally Nawrocki as Lucy
Jim Poole as Scooter
Patrick Kramer as Colin
Joe Spadaford as Jacob Lewis and Stubb Pirate Coward

Production

Phil Vischer completed the script for this film in 2002, noting that he wrote it before Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) was released.{{cite web|last=Hetherington|first=Janet|title=Seriously Silly: 'The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything'|url=https://www.awn.com/animationworld/seriously-silly-pirates-who-dont-do-anything|website=Animation World Network|access-date=October 8, 2019|date=January 11, 2008|archive-date=October 8, 2019|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20191008082021/https://www.awn.com/animationworld/seriously-silly-pirates-who-dont-do-anything|url-status=live}} Because of the bankruptcy and buyout of assets of Big Idea Productions, the film was unable to start production until late 2005.{{Citation needed|date=April 2023}}

The animation was done by Big Idea, Inc., and animation production was done by Starz Animation.

Reception

According to the review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes, 43% of critics have given the film a positive review based on 35 reviews, with an average rating of 4.92/10. The site's critics consensus reads, "This Veggietale should please the youngest crowds, but the silly script will tire the more discerning viewer."{{cite web|url=https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/pirates_who_dont_do_anything_a_veggietales_movie|title=The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie (2008)|website=Rotten Tomatoes|publisher=Fandango|access-date=April 25, 2019|archive-date=May 7, 2024|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20240507111724/https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/pirates_who_dont_do_anything_a_veggietales_movie|url-status=live}} At Metacritic, the film has a weighted average score of 49 out of 100 based on 13 critics, indicating "mixed or average reviews".{{cite web |url=https://www.metacritic.com/movie/the-pirates-who-dont-do-anything-a-veggietales-movie |title=The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie Reviews |website=Metacritic |publisher=CBS Interactive |access-date=April 25, 2019 |archive-date=September 22, 2020 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20200922005318/https://www.metacritic.com/movie/the-pirates-who-dont-do-anything-a-veggietales-movie |url-status=live }} The film earned $12.7 million for Universal Studios out of an estimated $15 million budget.[http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/pirates_who_dont_do_anything_a_veggietales_movie/numbers.php The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie], Box Office, IMDb

Image:Veggie Tales - Conyers.jpg on the main stage at the Georgia International Horse Park in Conyers during the Celebrate Freedom 2007 concert on September 1, 2007, dressed in costume for the promotion of the film]]

Home media

The film was released on DVD on October 14, 2008.{{Citation needed|date=April 2023}}

Music

Several original songs are performed in the film by the characters. When the credits are paused, "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" (sung by Relient K) and "Rock Monster" can be heard.

{{Track listing

| all_writing =

| all_lyrics =

| all_music =

| extra_column = Performer(s)

| title1 = Spanish Gold

| extra1 = Cast

| title2 = Jolly Joe's

| extra2 = Jim Poole, Phil Vischer & Mike Nawrocki

| title3 = Yo Ho Hero

| extra3 = Newsboys & Steve Taylor

| title4 = Papa's Got a Gumball Nellie