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Similarities and Difference Between Relationship Dissolution in Homosexual and Heterosexual Couples

When considering important elements of a relationship many people forget about the final stage of a relationship, the end. There are many similarities and differences between homosexual and heterosexual relationships, and why these relationships end. Some of the primary contributors of relationship dissolution include, a lack of physical attraction, decrease in commitment, and relationship longevity. The following section will explain how each of these factors relates to the dissolution of both, heterosexual and homosexual relationships.

Attraction is one of the primary reasons for relationship longevity.{{Cite journal|last=Kurdek|first=L.A.|date=2006|title=The nature and correlates of deterrents to leaving a relationship.|url=|journal=Personal Relationships, 3, 531-535|doi=|pmid=|access-date=}} There are multiple factors that determine the level of attraction in a relationship. Research most heavily focuses on the importance of commitment in a relationship. A change in commitment is generally associated with a change in attraction.{{Cite journal|last=Kurdek|first=L.A.|date=2000|title=Attractions and constraints as determinants of relationship commitment: Longitudinal evidence from gay, lesbian and heterosexual couples|url=|journal=Personal Relationships, 7, 245-262|doi=|pmid=|access-date=}} Moreover, when relationship satisfaction is high, people are less likely to end their relationship.{{Cite journal|last=Adams & Jones|first=|date=1997|title=The conceptualization of marital commitment: An integrative analysis.|url=|journal=Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 72, 1177-1196|doi=|pmid=|access-date=}}{{Cite book|title=Personal, moral, and structural commitment to relationships. In the Handbook of interpersonal commitment and relationship stability|last=Johnson|first=M.P.|publisher=Plenum|year=1999|isbn=|location=New York|pages=73-87}} High satisfaction generally means that there is some level of attraction between people, which in turn drives commitment to the relationship. Levinger{{Cite book|title=A social psychological perspective on marital dissolution in Divorce and separation: Context, causes, and consequences|last=Levinger|first=G|publisher=Basic Books|year=1979|isbn=|location=New York|pages=37-60}} states that there are two aspects of commitment associated with relationships. The first aspect of commitment, emphasizes bringing partners together in a relationship, while the second aspect emphasizes deterring partners from leaving. If a couple is high in commitment, they may also be high in attraction, and therefore less likely to end their relationship. Research studying homosexual and heterosexual relationships finds that both types of relationships have the same level of commitment.

In addition to understanding commitment, it is important to understand other contributing factors that may lead a couple to end their relationship. Research has found that individuals in homosexual and heterosexual relationships generally have the same relationships goals, because they both strive to achieve the same rewards. {{Cite journal|last=Baccman, C., Folkesson, P., & Norlander, T.|first=|date=1999|title=Expectations of romantic relationships: A comparison between homosexual and heterosexual men with regard to Baxter's criteria.|url=|journal=Social Behavior and Personality, 27(4), 363-374|doi=|pmid=|access-date=}} Research states that there are certain rules that need to be followed in a relationship, and if these rules are broken this could lead to acceptable grounds for termination of a relationship. These rules include: Personal autonomy/freedom, similarities, mutual support, honesty/openness, loyalty/good faith, time together, sharing resources and efforts and a sense of something between them.{{Cite journal|last=Baxter, L. A|first=|date=1986|title=Gender differences in the heterosexual relationship rules embedded in breakup accounts|url=|journal=Journal of Social and Personal Relationship, 3, 289-306.|doi=|pmid=|access-date=}} Research indicates that these factors are more important in a relationship than the sexual orientation of the partners in the relationship. Therefore, regardless of type of relationship, homosexual and heterosexual couples want and need similar things in their relationships to maintain them.

Although commitment and relationship goals are necessary for relationship satisfaction, physical attraction is also an important factor, specifically physical attraction to one's partner. Heterosexual males typically regard physical attractiveness of a woman as an important signal for the success of a relationship, {{Cite book|title=Evolutionary psychology: The new science of the mind (3rd ed)|last=Buss, D. M.|first=|publisher=Allyn &Bacon|year=2008|isbn=|location=Boston, MA|pages=}}{{Cite journal|last=Tu, Y., Chen, Y., Guo, Y., Yang, Z., & Jiang, X.|first=|date=2015|title=Interpersonal trust and self-perception of heterosexual charm moderate potential for betraying one's romantic partner|url=|journal=Social Behavior and Personality, 43(6), 909-920.|doi=|pmid=|access-date=}} whereas women find men's economic achievement as an attractive force. Thus, men and women may have different motivations for ending a relationship, just as they have different characteristics they find attractive in others. Physical attraction seems to be an important factor that may influence the dissolution of a relationship when related to a current partner.

While it is important to understand factors that aide in relationship dissolution, it is also important to understand what prevents couples from dissolving their relationships. Research states that relationship longevity is generally associated with a marriage lasting more than 1-2 years.{{Cite journal|last=Rosenfeld, M. J.|first=|date=2014|title=Couple Longevity in the Era of Same-Sex Marriage in the United States|url=|journal=Journal of Marriage and Family, 76, 905-918|doi=|pmid=|access-date=}} The longer a couple stays married to someone, the lower the probability the couple will get a divorce. Most research regarding heterosexual relationships is rooted in the idea of marriage. In contrast, research regarding homosexual relationships focuses primarily on dating relationships rather than marriage, presumably because of the historic restrictions on homosexual marriage. As a result, research on why couples choose to end a relationship has often been based on married heterosexual couples but on dating homosexual couples. Longstanding couples generally overcome difficult obstacles throughout their relationships, and have more investments in their relationships, which may deter them from ending a relationship. These investments can range from children to financial assets. In contrast, gay males and lesbian women, who were cohabiting, typically have a higher break up rate than married couples. {{Cite journal|last=Kurdek, L.A.|first=|date=2004|title=Are gay and lesbian cohabiting couples really different from heterosexual married couples?|url=|journal=Journal of Marriage and Family, 66, 880-900.|doi=|pmid=|access-date=}} This difference can be explained, at least in part, by the lower rates of marriage among homosexual couples due to historic legal restrictions. If we take marriage into account, research shows that homosexual and heterosexual couples do not have statistically different rates of break ups. These findings suggest that newer relationships, which may not have experienced certain difficulties, are at greater risk for relationship dissolution than long, established relationships.