User talk:Darcourse

Jokes!!!

Two Chinese brothers, Wong A. and Wong B., decide to set up a paint factory 'TuWongs'. They only sell the darker shades. Why?

Because TuWongs don't make a white!

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A bloke breaks into a yoghurt factory, but he got caught.

Now he feels like a fool!.

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How do you make a sausage roll?

Push it down a hill!

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Did you you hear about the postman who lost his job?

He got the sack!

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What happened to the shrimp who had a rebirth?

He was a prawn-again crustacean!

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Where do gnomes go when they are unwell?

The National Elf Service!

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Why was the Christmas tree unwell?

It had tinsellitis!

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Comedy. It's a funny business!

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You're playing two Tauruses in defence? (football has been taken over by player's star signs)

What a load of bull!

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Why did the monkey go to the barbeque?

Because he was a griller!

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side!

TV ideas

Multi-talent show

10 contestants battle over 10 weeks in a variety of disciplines

  • Cooking
  • Running
  • Singing
  • Pottery
  • Needlework
  • Weights
  • Archery
  • Painting
  • Drama
  • Supermarket till work