What a Country!

{{Infobox television

|image =

|caption =

|developer = Martin Rips
Joseph Staretski

|genre = Sitcom

|writer = Frank Mula
Martin Rips
Leonard Ripps
Mike Scully
Joseph Staretski

|director = Peter Baldwin
Robert Claver
Linda Day
Dolores Ferraro
Russ Petranto

|starring = Garrett M. Brown
Yakov Smirnoff
George Murdock
Vijay Amritraj
Harry Waters, Jr.
Ada Maris
Julian Reyes
Leila Hee Olsen
Gail Strickland

|theme_music_composer = Richard DeBenedictis

|country = United States

|language = English

|num_seasons = 1

|num_episodes = 26

|executive_producer = Martin Rips
Joseph Staretski

|producer = Wendy Blair
Eric Cohen
Leonard Ripps

|runtime = 21 minutes

|company = Ripstar Productions
Primetime Entertainment
Tribune Entertainment
Viacom Enterprises

|channel = First-run syndication

|first_aired = {{Start date|1986|09|27}}

|last_aired = {{End date|1987|05|23}}

|related =

}}

What a Country! is an American sitcom starring Garrett M. Brown and Yakov Smirnoff that aired in first-run syndication from September 27, 1986, to May 23, 1987. The series is based on the British sitcom Mind Your Language and was intended as a showcase for Ukrainian-American comedian Yakov Smirnoff, whose catchphrase provided the show's title. Five years previously in 1981, an episode of sitcom Diff'rent Strokes titled "Almost American" had served as a backdoor pilot for a US version of Mind Your Language but it was not picked up for a series.

Synopsis

What a Country! is set in a class of recent immigrants to the United States who are trying to pass the citizenship test. Their teacher, Taylor Brown (played by Garrett M. Brown), is a part-time substitute teacher looking for a high school soccer coaching job, while the students are:

Nikolai (a Russian-Soviet taxi driver),
Laszlo (a retired Hungarian doctor),
Ali (a Pakistani),
Robert (the son of a deposed African king),
Maria (a housekeeper working for a rich Beverly Hills family),
Victor (a Hispanic in love with Maria), and
Yung Hi (a shy Chinese woman).

Gail Strickland initially played the character of Principal Joan Courtney, though she was replaced by Don Knotts during the series' run.{{cite book|last=Brooks|first=Tim |author2=Marsh, Earle F. |title=The Complete Directory to Prime Time Network and Cable TV Shows, 1946-Present |publisher=Ballantine Books|date=2007-10-17|edition=9|pages=1502–1503|isbn=978-0-345-49773-4}}

Cast

Garrett M. Brown as Taylor Brown
Yakov Smirnoff as Nikolai Rostopovich
George Murdock as Laszlo Gabo
Vijay Amritraj as Ali Nadim
Harry Waters, Jr. as Robert Muboto
Ada Maris as Maria Conchita Lopez
Julian Reyes as Victor Ortega
Leila Hee Olsen as Yung Hi
Gail Strickland as Principal Joan Courtney (episodes 1–10)
Don Knotts as Principal F.J. "Bud" McPherson (episodes 11–26)

Episodes

{{Episode table |total_width= |background= |overall= |title= |director= |writer= |airdate= |episodes=

{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 1

|Title = The First Class

|DirectedBy = Howard Storm

|WrittenBy = Martin Rips & Joseph Staretski

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1986|9|27}}

|ShortSummary = Mr. Brown is a substitute teacher in a citizenship class at a night school, and has doubts about becoming an instructor.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 2

|Title = The Soul Man

|DirectedBy = Russ Petranto

|WrittenBy = Lenny Ripps

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1986|10|4}}

|ShortSummary = The class convinces a reluctant Robert to ask a young woman out on a date. Nikolai helps Robert with some tips on how to become 'cool'.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 3

|Title = A Busboy Named Desire

|DirectedBy = Howard Storm

|WrittenBy = Frank Mula & Mike Scully

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1986|10|11}}

|ShortSummary = Victor asks Maria out on a date to an expensive restaurant, but their dinner doesn't turn out as well as they had hoped.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 4

|Title = Don't Leave Home Without It

|DirectedBy = Howard Storm

|WrittenBy = Eric Cohen

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1986|10|18}}

|ShortSummary = Nikolai discovers the joys of credit cards, until he experiences the sorrows of being in debt.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 5

|Title = My Fair Yung Hi

|DirectedBy = Russ Petranto

|WrittenBy = Stephen Schneck

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1986|10|25}}

|ShortSummary = Mr. Brown starts private lessons with Yung Hi to overcome her shyness and improve her English pronunciation and diction, in order for her to feel comfortable participating in a debate in class.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 6

|Title = Holiday on Ice

|DirectedBy = Linda Day

|WrittenBy = Frank Mula & Mike Scully

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1986|11|1}}

|ShortSummary = When Laszlo is convinced by Mr. Brown to come out of retirement and become a dentist again, he unfortunately finds himself in jail along with Robert, Maria and Nikolai.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 7

|Title = The Best Laid Plans

|DirectedBy = Bob Claver

|WrittenBy = Nick Arnold

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1986|11|8}}

|ShortSummary = A field trip to Disneyland is planned for the class, until it falls apart when Nikolai is in charge of finances.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 8

|Title = Chicken a la Prince

|DirectedBy =

|WrittenBy =

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1986|11|15}}

|ShortSummary = Bob and Nik are smitten by a Swedish woman who's joined their immigration class.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 9

|Title = A Birthday With Class

|DirectedBy =

|WrittenBy =

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1986|11|22}}

|ShortSummary = The class orchestrates surprise birthday party plans for Taylor.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 10

|Title = Ali's Arrangement

|DirectedBy =

|WrittenBy =

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1986|12|20}}

|ShortSummary = When he was 7 year-old, Ali's marriage was arranged, and now the time has come to fulfill his obligation.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 11

|Title = Taylor Loses His Cool

|DirectedBy = Russ Petranto

|WrittenBy = Bernie West

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|1|10}}

|ShortSummary = Mr. Brown meets new principal Mr. McPherson. Upon learning that the principal does not like the way he teaches the class, Mr. Brown decides to quit.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 12

|Title = The Road From Morocco

|DirectedBy = Dolores Ferraro

|WrittenBy = Frank Mula & Mike Scully

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|1|17}}

|ShortSummary = A new student from Morocco, Rajeeb, joins the class, but quickly finds himself at odds with his new classmates. However, when he faces the risk of deportation, the class comes together to help him out.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 13

|Title = Nikolai Speaks

|DirectedBy = Russ Petranto

|WrittenBy = Michael Turner

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|1|24}}

|ShortSummary = Nikolai and Mr. McPherson become involved in a hit-and-run accident, and become witnesses at a trial in court.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 14

|Title = California Dreamin'

|DirectedBy =

|WrittenBy =

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|2|7}}

|ShortSummary = We devolve into fantasy as class members share their dreams.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 15

|Title = Moonlighting

|DirectedBy = Russ Petranto

|WrittenBy = Lenny Ripps

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|2|14}}

|ShortSummary = Maria decides to quit her job as a housekeeper for the Feldmans, but can only find a job as a part-time taxi dancer. She attempts to keep her new job a secret from her classmates. Meanwhile, Ali takes a job as Mr. McPherson's personal assistant.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 16

|Title = Play it Again, F

|DirectedBy = Delores Ferraro

|WrittenBy = Norm Chandler Fox

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|2|21}}

|ShortSummary = Things get awkward for Mr. Brown when he finds out that his own mother and Mr. McPherson were once romantically involved.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 17

|Title = Citizen Pain

|DirectedBy = Russ Petranto

|WrittenBy = George Yanok

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|2|28}}

|ShortSummary = Nikolai becomes increasingly paranoid, convinced that he is being watched and followed by KGB agents.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 18

|Title = Educating Inga

|DirectedBy = Alan Bergmann

|WrittenBy = Martin Rips & Joseph Staretski

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|3|7}}

|ShortSummary = The guys in class become infatuated with a new student in the class, Inga, from Sweden. Nikolai, Robert, Victor and Ali try to teach her English so she can stay in the class.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 19

|Title = Victor at an Exhibition

|DirectedBy = Russ Petranto

|WrittenBy = Frank Mula & Mike Scully

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|3|14}}

|ShortSummary = Maria meets a rich and handsome young man, Charles, who is an art gallery curator in Beverly Hills. However, a rift between her and Victor ensues after she takes on a few 'changes'.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 20

|Title = What a Tangled Web We Weave

|DirectedBy = Bob Claver

|WrittenBy = Martin Rips & Joseph Staretski

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|3|28}}

|ShortSummary = Facing a risk of losing the class, the students aim to perform well on a test being set by Mr. McPherson.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 21

|Title = Love Finds Nikolai

|DirectedBy = Bob Claver

|WrittenBy = Jerry Rannow

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|4|4}}

|ShortSummary = Nikolai reunites with a fellow Russian, Sonya. Although he wishes to date American girls, he realises that he is starting to fall in love with her.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 22

|Title = We're in the Muboto's

|DirectedBy = Russ Petranto

|WrittenBy = Frank Mula & Mike Scully

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|4|11}}

|ShortSummary = Robert discovers that he will be inheriting millions of dollars from his family's wealth, but only if a certain condition is met.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 23

|Title = What Are Friends For?

|DirectedBy = Russ Petranto

|WrittenBy = Lenny Ripps

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|5|2}}

|ShortSummary = Maria is selected to become a television spokesperson. However, her dreams of stardom collapse when she drinks too much of Yung Hi's grandmother's tea to overcome her cold.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 24

|Title = The Candidate

|DirectedBy = Russ Petranto

|WrittenBy = Frank Mula & Mike Scully

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|5|9}}

|ShortSummary = The class volunteers to help out at a campaign of a local city council candidate, Alex Hernandez. Maria and Alex fall in love with each other, but Maria learns a harsh lesson about politics.

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{{Episode list

|EpisodeNumber = 25

|Title = The Apartment

|DirectedBy = Tony Singletary

|WrittenBy = Martin Rips & Joseph Staretski

|OriginalAirDate = {{Start date|1987|5|16}}

|ShortSummary = When Ali is refused an apartment even though it is listed as vacant, Mr. Brown and the students investigate why.

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{{Episode list