Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 July 10

:Pretty good. Have you read Wikipedia:Manual of Style (layout) and Wikipedia:Manual of Style (biographies)? I can't see much wrong myself... minor comment - the section names should all be in lower case, except the very first letter and the first letter of proper nouns. i.e "Ukulele maker" not "Ukulele Maker".

:As a new user, you can't upload images to Wikipedia. I think you can upload them at [http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Main_Page commons] though and then still use them here.

:Yaris678 (talk) 18:17, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

::I would also consider using an infobox - that way you'd be able to summarise all the key information about this guy and embed the picture directly in there as well. Take a look at Template:Infobox person. Chevymontecarlo 05:00, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

:::On the subject of additional information, you could try asking at Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Hawaii. Yaris678 (talk) 19:04, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

:How do I imbed the image in the infobox? Does not seem to work. Is this because I am still too new of a user? NoOneGrandSon (talk)

::Have you uploaded it? What is it called? Yaris678 (talk) 23:56, 12 July 2010 (UTC)

:I have made some basic changes but is still needs more work. I think you need to learn more about how to cite sources in Wikipedia. Also, take a look at The Abbey School for an example of how you can structure an article on a school. Yaris678 (talk) 18:44, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

::Please also consider adding an infobox to the article at the top, such as Template:Infobox school. Chevymontecarlo 04:57, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

:::You might also check out Wikipedia:Referencing for beginners--SPhilbrickT 17:13, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

:Make the language a lot more neutral. I am sure he was a great guy, but if you stick to the facts this will shine through. For example, you don't need to say he was a brilliant jurist or a gifted linguist. Yaris678 (talk) 18:53, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

::I think you should also consider adding sections and perhaps an infobox to the article - try taking a look at Template:Infobox person or something like that. Chevymontecarlo 04:55, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

:::Wikipedia articles have a specific structure to them, specified in a guideline called Layout (Click on the link to see the details). --SPhilbrickT 17:15, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

Nice article! Well-written, and I can see you've put a lot of work into it. The only thing I might suggest is a few more independent references to help in the notability and referencing areas to make sure the article is square with Wikipedia's guidelines on each. See wp:Reliable references and wp:GNG for more information about both subjects. Other than that, though, very well done! :) Pianotech (talk) 11:56, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

Do you - Pianotech - or anyone else know how I go about getting the "unreviewed article" box at the top of the page? Thanks Juliet tree (talk) 01:56, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

:Removed it for you. :) Pianotech 11:31, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

does this article meet wiki standards for notable people

Nickbiddlenoe (talk) 12:21, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

:I have edited your post, above, because the title was unhelpful and some of the text was hidden.

:In answer to your question, I think the article does meet the WP:Notability standards because it has several sources that seem to be independent. I notice that User:Christopher Connor is questioning the reliability of the sources. Can you think why this might be? I don't know anything about those sources myself. Are any of them from companies owned by Karem? Are any of them known for writing puff pieces about whoever pays them?

:To me, the biggest issue with the article is how it is written. It is too much like a like a résumé. Take a look at Wikipedia:Manual of Style (biographies).

:Yaris678 (talk) 17:41, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

:Very good article! You've put a lot of work in it and it shows. It's well-referenced too, which is always good. You might want to consider an infobox as a finishing touch, but you've done very good work. :) Pianotech (talk) 15:33, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

::Yeah, a very good article. I made a couple of minor changes. You could ask at Wikipedia talk:WikiProject History of Canada to see if anyone wants to give a hand. I don't know how active that WikiProject is but if you don't get any response, you could try Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Canada. Yaris678 (talk) 19:14, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

:Well, I corrected a few things, although I'm not sure whether that's what the user wants. Chevymontecarlo 04:46, 11 July 2010 (UTC)