Wikipedia:Wikipedia Signpost/2021-01-31/Humour

{{Wikipedia:Wikipedia Signpost/Templates/RSS description|1=Dr. Seuss's Guide to Wikipedia: With a special appearance by Senator Ted Cruz!}}{{Wikipedia:Signpost/Template:Signpost-header|||}}

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|{{{1|Dr. Seuss's Guide to Wikipedia}}}|By Levivich, Atsme, EEng, and GeneralNotability

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:One hundred years ago, Theodor Seuss Geisel (better known as "Dr. Seuss") arguably began his writing career by authoring a book review of a railroad timetable and contributing to the Dartmouth College humor magazine Jack-O-Lantern.{{Cite web |editor-first1=Edward Connery |editor-last1=Lathem |date=2004 |orig-date=1976 |title=The Beginnings of Dr. Seuss: An Informal Reminiscence |url=https://www.dartmouth.edu/library/digital/collections/books/ocm58916242/ocm58916242.html |access-date=2021-01-22 |publisher=Dartmouth College |language=en |ref=none}} Since then millions of children{{snd}}young and old{{snd}}have delighted in the wit and wisdom of his iconic books with their hallucinatory illustrations. In celebration of this centennial, The Signpost has blatantly hijacked some of Seuss's most familiar works (and a few less familiar ones) in service of the perhaps questionable goal of indoctrinating a new generation of editors in the wacky ways of Wikipedia.

{{Signpost inline image|image=File:Ted Geisel NYWTS 2.jpg|caption="Editors are just obsolete children, and the hell with them."{{snd}}Dr. Seuss}}

File:Lord_Jimbo_cropped.jpg}}]]

{{quote box |align=center|width=22em|bgcolor =

|title = {{nobr|Dr. Seuss's ABCs}} {{nobr|of Editing{{refn|Dr. Seuss's ABC}} }}

|quote = {{bulleted list |Wikipedia:Red_link{{refn|One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish}}

|WP:VANDALISM{{hsp}}{{refn|I Can Lick 30 Tigers Today! and Other Stories}}

|WP:G1{{hsp}}{{refn|I Can Read with My Eyes Shut!}}

|WP:UTP{{refn|Come over to My House}}

|WP:BDAY{{hsp}}{{refn|Hooray for Diffendoofer Day!}}

|Help:Recent changes{{refn|The Bippolo Seed and Other Lost Stories}}

}} }}

{{cquote |align=center|width=22em|qalign=center|quoted=yes

|title =

|quote =You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
so get on your way!

|author= Dr. Seuss

|source = Oh, the Places You'll Go!

}}

{{clear}}

{{quote box |style=float:left; |width=19em|bgcolor = LightBlue

|title = I Am Not Going to Edit Today!

|quote = All around the world
they're editing.
And so they don't need me.
Let others edit Switzerland
or Memphis, Tennessee.
Let them edit in Alaska
and in China.
I don't care.
Let others edit Italy.
Let others edit Spain.
Let them edit Massachusetts,
Connecticut and Maine.
Someone else can edit London
and Paris and Berlin.
Let them edit all they want to.
But not me.
I'm sleeping in.{{refn|I Am Not Going to Get Up Today!: "All around the world / they're getting up. / And that's okay with me. / Let the kids get up in Switzerland / ...{{nbsp}}or Memphis, Tennessee. / Let the kids get up in Alaska / ...{{nbsp}}and in China. / I don't care. / Let the kids get up in Italy. / Let the kids get up in Spain. / Let them get up in Massachusetts / and Connecticut and Maine. / Let the kids get up in London / and in Paris and Berlin. / Let them get up all they want to. / But not me. / I'm sleeping in."}}

}}

{{quote box |style=float:left;|width=25em|bgcolor = LightGreen

|title = TBANed Editor Will You Please Go Now!

|quote = Just go. Go. GO! I don't care how.
You can go edit foot. You can go edit cow.{{refn|Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now!: "Just go. Go. GO! / I don't care how. / You can go by foot. / You can go by cow."}}

}}

{{quote box |style=float:left;|width=26em|bgcolor = LightSteelBlue

|title = The Bitter Battleground Book

|quote = My wonderful weapon, the Rollbacker-Snatchem,
will roll back those edits as quick as we catch 'em.{{refn|The Butter Battle Book: ""My wonderful weapon, the Jigger-Rock Snatchem, / will fling 'em right back just as quick as we catch 'em."}}

}}

{{quote box |style=float:left;|width=19em|bgcolor = Pink

|title = Oh, the Places Redirects Go!

|quote = You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can redirect articles
any places you choose.{{refn|Oh, the Places You'll Go!: "You have brains in your head. / You have feet in your shoes. / You can steer yourself any direction you choose."}}

}}

{{quote box |style=float:left; |width=32em|bgcolor = Aqua

|title = If I Ran Arbcom

|quote = Ei! What a committee! Fit for its purpose!
Our clerks they love clerking. {{nobr|They say, "Work us! Please work us!}}
We'll clerk and we'll clerk {{nobr|until we're lightheaded}}
(But you'll only see half {{nobr|'cause discussion's unthreaded!)}}"{{hsp}}{{refn|If I Ran the Circus: "Ei! Ei! What a circus! My Circus McGurkus! / My workers love work. They say, "Work us! Please work us! / We'll work and we'll work up so many surprises / You'd never see half if you had forty eyeses!"}}

}}

{{cquote |float=left|width=

|quote = I'm a North-Going Zax
and I always go north.
Get out of my way, now,
and let me go forth!

|author = Dr. Seuss|source = The Zax

}}

{{quote box |style=float:left; |width=26em|bgcolor = Salmon

|title = The Zax's Conduct Guidance

|quote = {{bulleted list |You're Only BOLD Once{{refn|You're Only Old Once!}}

|Oh Say You Can't Say{{refn|Oh Say Can You Say?}}

|Great Day for UPE!{{hsp}}{{refn|Great Day for Up!}}

|Did I Ever Tell You How Unlucky You Are?{{hsp}}{{refn|Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?}}

|How the Grinch Defaced Articles with Infoboxes{{refn|How the Grinch Stole Christmas!}}

}} }}

{{clear}}

{{quote box |style=float:left; |width=26em|bgcolor = Gold

|title = I Had Trouble Reporting to WP:ANEW

|quote = I learned there are vandals {{nobr|of more than one kind.}}
Some come from ahead and {{nobr|some come from behind.}}
But they gave me the bit{{snd}}{{nobr|I'm all ready you see.}}
Now those vandals are going {{nobr|to be blocked by me!{{hsp}}{{refn|I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew: "And I learned there are troubles / Of more than one kind. / Some come from ahead / And some come from behind. / But I've bought a big bat. / I'm all ready, you see. / Now my troubles are going / To have troubles with me!"}}
{{right|(Sequel: I Had Trouble Reporting to AIV, Too)}} }}

}}

{{cquote |float=left

|quote = {{center|{{nowrap|WP:Featured_article_review{{refn|And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street}}}}
10px Those stars weren't so big. 15px They were really so small. 5px
10px You might think such a thing 10px wouldn't matter at all.10px}}

|author = Dr. Seuss |source = The Sneetches and Other Stories

}}

{{clear}}

{{quote box |style=float:left;|width=19em|bgcolor = tan

|title = The Lorax's Content Policies

|quote = {{bulleted list |The Footnote Book{{refn|The Foot Book}}

|Green Eggs and Spam{{refn|Green Eggs and Ham}}

|Horton Hatches a Hoax{{refn|Horton Hatches the Egg}}

|My Article about ME{{refn|My Book about ME}}

}} }}

{{quote box |style=float:left; |width=21em|bgcolor = orange

|title = Horton Hates a Hasty Hyphen

|quote = I'll just have to fix it. Because, after all
An error's an error, no matter how small.{{refn|Horton Hears a Who!: "I'll just have to save him. Because, after all, / A person's a person, no matter how small."}}

}}

{{quote box |style=float:left; |width= 23em |bgcolor = LightGreen

|title = ArbCom Hatches the Egg

|quote = I meant what I said, and I said what I meant{{nbsp}}...
ArbCom is faithful, one hundred per cent!{{hsp}}{{refn|Horton Hatches the Egg: "I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. / An elephant's faithful, one hundred per cent!"}}

}}

{{cquote |author = Dr. Seuss |source = The Lorax|float=left

|quote = Unless someone like you
cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better.
It's not.

}}

{{quote box |style=float:left; |width= 24em|bgcolor=plum

|title = Oh, the Links You Can Link!

|quote = Link internal, external, piped or unpiped.
Oh, the links you can link up however you like!
Don't link left-wing or right-wing, promo or spam.
Practice safe linking whenever you can!{{hsp}}{{refn|Oh, the Thinks You Can Think!: "Think left and think right / and think low and think high. / Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!"}}

}}

{{clear}}

{{quote box |style=float:left;|width=19em|bgcolor = Aqua

|title = Tech Tips from Sam-I-Am

|quote =

{{bulleted list

|Scorsese Ahead of Swayze{{refn|Daisy-Head Mayzie}}

|Horton and the Phabberbug
and More Lost Stories{{refn|Horton and the Kwuggerbug and More Lost Stories}}

|What PetScan Have I Ran?{{hsp}}{{refn|What Pet Should I Get?}}

|Lua the Big-Hearted Module{{refn|Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose}}

|The Admin's Mop{{refn|The King's Stilts}}

|Bartholomew and the Ombud{{refn|Bartholomew and the Oobleck}}

}} }}

{{quote box |style=float:left;|width=21em|bgcolor = LightBlue

|title=The Place I Be and Other Stuff{{refn|The Shape of Me and Other Stuff}}

|quote=Wrote the Far Western part
Of south-east North Dakota,
And a very fine article
About the iota,
But I'll write a stub
That is even much finer
On the north-eastern west part
Of South Carolina.{{refn|If I Ran the Zoo: "In the Far Western part / Of south-east North Dakota / Lives a very fine animal / Called the Iota. / But I'll capture one / Who is even much finer / In the north-eastern west part / Of South Carolina."}}

}}

{{quote box |style=float:left; |width= 28em ||bgcolor = yellow

|title = Yasmin the Admin and Other Stories

|quote = Editors know, up top you see great sights,
but down here at the bottom, we too should have rights.{{refn|Yertle the Turtle and Other Stories: "I know, up on top you are seeing great sights, / But down here at the bottom, we, too, should have rights."}}

}}

{{cquote |float=left

|quote =Are you sure everyone on enwiki is working?
Quick! Check the contribs! Is anyone shirking?{{hsp}}{{refn|Horton Hears a Who!: "Are you sure every Who down in Who-ville is working? / Quick! Look through your town! Is there anyone shirking?"}}

}}

{{cquote |float=left

|quote =I'm sorry to say so but sadly it's true
that edit conflicts can happen to you.{{refn|Oh, the Places You'll Go!: "I'm sorry to say so / but, sadly, it's true / that Bang-ups / and Hang-ups / can happen to you."}}

}}

{{clear}}

{{quote box |style=float:left;|width=19em|bgcolor = salmon

|title = Wardrobe Advice from
The Cat in the Hat

|quote =

{{bulleted list

|There's a Socker in My Locker{{refn|There's a Wocket in My Pocket}}

|Blocks of Socks{{refn|Fox in Socks}}

|The 5000 Sockpuppets of Dr. T{{refn|The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T.}}

|Dr. Seuss's Sleeper Book{{refn|Dr. Seuss's Sleep Book}}

|The 500 Hats of
Bartholomew Cubbins{{refn|The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins }}

|The Hat in the Cat{{refn|The Cat in the Hat}}

}} }}

{{cquote |float=left|width=23em

|quote ={{center|The Waiting Place
A place you could sprain
both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out?
Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose?
How much can you win?}}

|author = Dr. Seuss |source = Oh, the Places You'll Go!

}}

{{quote box |style=float:left;|width=21em|bgcolor = tan

|title = Hop on POP3{{hsp}}*

|quote = FATHER MOTHER SISTER BROTHER
That wasn't me, it was my brother.
My brother edits little bits
Fixing words like its and it's.{{refn|Hop on Pop: "FATHER / MOTHER / SISTER / BROTHER / That one is my other brother. / My brothers read a little bit. / Little words like / If and it."}}
{{mdash}}{{mdash}}{{mdash}}
*{{small|Non-geeks should refer to our article on POP3.}}

}}

{{clear}}

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