love marriage
{{Short description|Marriage where consent from parents is not required}}
{{Use dmy dates|date=September 2021}}
{{About|the act of marriage|works of fiction|Love Marriage (disambiguation)}}
A love marriage is one which is driven solely by the couple, with or without the consent of their parents, as opposed to arranged marriage.{{cite book|author=Mr Henrike Donner|title=Domestic Goddesses: Maternity, Globalization and Middle-class Identity in Contemporary India|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=ysehAgAAQBAJ&pg=PA80|access-date=31 January 2015|date=28 December 2012|publisher=Ashgate Publishing, Ltd.|isbn=978-1-4094-9145-3|pages=80, 86}} While there is no clear definition of love marriage, the term was in common use globally during the Victorian era. It is still used in the Commonwealth countries of India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka, as well as Nepal and Egypt.{{cite news|title=Glitz and tradition at Sri Lanka society wedding|url=https://www.bbc.com/news/world-south-asia-13060799|access-date=31 January 2015|work=BBC News|date=13 April 2011|quote=Society is becoming more Westernised, too: this is a love marriage, not one arranged by the family.}}{{cite news|title=Pakistan police to protect Afghan runaway couple|url=https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-18952987|access-date=31 January 2015|work=BBC News|date=23 July 2012|quote=The couple say that they entered Pakistan illegally about three weeks ago and had a secret love marriage.}}
In Europe
File:Heloïse et d'Abélard.jpg painter Jean Vignaud (1819)]]
According to the American historian Stephanie Coontz, marriages between Anglo-Saxons were organised to establish peace and trading relationships. She writes that in the 11th century, marriages were organised on the basis of securing economic advantages or political ties, and the wishes of the couples were not considered important. The bride was especially expected to defer to her father's wishes. Coontz has argued that while love marriages were not universal, marriages based on love and personal commitments started to emerge as early as the 14th century and really began to flower in the 18th century.{{cite news|title=The Malleable Estate: Is marriage more joyful than ever?|url=http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/history_book_blitz/2005/05/the_malleable_estate.single.html|access-date=31 January 2015|work=Slate|date=17 May 2005}}
In 1140, Decretum Gratiani was written by Gratian. It made consent of the couple a requirement for marriage. The book became the foundation of the policy of the Christian Church on marriage.{{cite news|title=Ten key moments in the history of marriage|url=https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-17351133|access-date=31 January 2015|work=BBC News|date=14 March 2012}}
The 1840 marriage of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert made love marriage more acceptable in the minds of the British public in the Victoria era, and love marriages were on the rise.
In India
In India, love marriages started becoming popular in urban areas in the 1970s. Initially, love marriages occurred between acceptable communities. Love marriage now commonly transcend ethnic, community and religion barriers.
In a 2012 survey conducted by Ipsos for the TV channel NDTV, 74% of the respondents said that they preferred an arranged marriage.{{cite news |title=NDTV mid-term poll: Does India still want arranged marriages? |url=http://www.ndtv.com/india-news/ndtv-mid-term-poll-does-india-still-want-arranged-marriages-498043 |access-date=14 February 2015 |work=NDTV |date=5 September 2012}} In 2010, the National Commission for Women (NCW) released a report stating that it had documented 326 cases of honour crime in the past year, majority of which were due to inter-caste marriages.{{cite news|last=Tandon |first=Aditi |title=Inter-caste ties behind most honour crimes. Just 3% cases due to same gotra marriages, says new survey |url=http://www.tribuneindia.com/2010/20100706/main1.htm |access-date=14 February 2015 |work=The Tribune (India) |date=5 July 2010}}
In a 2014 survey conducted by the United Nations Population Fund and International Center for Research on Women, 11.7% of men and 8.5% of women surveyed claimed that they chose their partners and married with or without the consent of their families.{{Cite web|url = http://www.icrw.org/publications/masculinity-intimate-partner-violence-and-son-preference-india|title = Masculinity, Intimate Partner Violence and Son Preference in India|publisher = International Center for Research on Women}} The boundaries between the two types have started to blur. The term love-arranged marriage is used to describe a new emerging form of marriage which contains elements of both arranged marriage and love marriage.{{cite book|author=Katherine Twamley|title=Love, Marriage and Intimacy Among Gujarati Indians: A Suitable Match|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=haUAAwAAQBAJ&pg=PA68|access-date=31 January 2015|date=12 February 2014|publisher=Palgrave Macmillan|isbn=978-1-137-29430-2|page=68}} Love marriages are seen as imposition of the younger generation's will over the older generation's wishes.{{cite news|last=Bansal |first=Pallavi |date=2015-09-22 |url=http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/Arranged-marriages-losing-respect-in-India/articleshow/49058130.cms |access-date=2022-06-06 |title=Arranged marriages losing respect in India? |newspaper=Times of India}}
In Pakistan
In Pakistan, arranged marriages are the norm and love marriage is rare in the society. Several cases of honour killing are recorded every year.{{cite news|title=Pakistan stoning victim's husband condemns police|url=https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-27614359|access-date=31 January 2015|work=BBC News|date=29 May 2011}} In most cases, the woman is killed, however in some cases couples are killed.{{cite news|title=Pakistan 'love marriage' couple murdered by girl's family|url=http://www.thenational.ae/world/south-asia/pakistan-x2018love-marriagex2019-couple-murdered-by-girlx2019s-family|access-date=31 January 2015|work=The National (Abu Dhabi)|date=29 June 2014}} The Human Rights Commission of Pakistan counted about 869 such cases reported in the media, but noted that many such cases may also be unreported.{{cite news|title=Dark tale of love and murder in Pakistan's rural heartland|url=https://www.reuters.com/article/us-pakistan-woman-murder-idUSKBN0EA1IG20140530|access-date=31 January 2015|work=Reuters|date=30 May 2014}}
In Bangladesh
In Bangladesh, there is a strong code of social and cultural prohibition on inter-gender friendship and/or romantic relationship; there have been so many incidents of unrequited love of boys, in the context of unrequited love, boys may face punishment by mob justice on the request of the girl whom the boy loves or the girl's guardians{{cite web|url=https://www.dhakatribune.com/bangladesh/2019/07/22/alarming-spike-in-mob-justice|title=Alarming spike in mob justice|website=Dhaka Tribune|author=Syed Samiul Bashar Anik|date=22 July 2019}} and in the case of romantic relationship of two individuals, they secretly meet and talk, and may elope if their respective guardians are not willing to get them married.{{cite web|url=https://www.dhakatribune.com/uncategorized/2014/03/30/love-elopement-and-an-unopened-prophylactic|title=Love, elopement, and an unopened prophylactic|website=Dhaka Tribune|author=Towheed Feroze|date=30 March 2014|access-date=12 September 2019}}{{cite web|url=http://www.newagebd.net/article/12109/the-freedom-of-not-being-married-in-bangladesh|title=The Freedom of (not) being married in Bangladesh|website=newagebd.net|author=Nasrin Siraj|date=28 March 2017|access-date=12 September 2019}}{{cite web|url=https://www.dhakatribune.com/opinion/2018/02/11/love-elopement-and-all-that|title=Love, elopement, and all that|website=dhakatribune.com|publisher=Dhaka Tribune|date=12 February 2018|access-date=29 July 2018}}{{cite web|url=https://bdnews24.com/bangladesh/2015/07/19/couple-student-commit-suicide-in-dhaka|title=Couple, student commit 'suicide' in Dhaka|website=bdnews24.com|publisher=Bdnews24.com|date=19 July 2015|access-date=5 July 2018}}
Due to a large portion of society's Islamic adherence and conservative mentality, inter-gender friendship and romance is heavily suppressed. It is also very difficult to form a romantic relationship or to find a life partner by one's own will. It is generally hard for boys to find life-partners; they need to become earners as Bangladeshi society is very conservative and patriarchal.{{sfn|Lewis|2011}} The society largely relies on the arranged marriage system.{{cite web|url=https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/19/bangladesh-love-and-marriage_n_5348246.html|title=To Love In Bangladesh|newspaper=HuffPost|date=19 May 2014}}{{cite web|url=https://www.elitedaily.com/p/6-places-in-the-world-where-arranged-marriages-is-traditional-historically-practiced-15922788|title=6 Places In The World Where Arranged Marriages Is Traditional & Historically Practiced|website=Elite Daily|date=5 February 2019 }}
There are strong records of guardian objections for various reasons whether the boy is not liked by the girl's parents or the boy is unemployed or of lower income status etc. In this case, the girl is forcibly married to a boy of her parents' choice, and if the girl elopes with another boy, her parents may file a police case against the boy. This social and cultural trend is still prevalent in Bangladeshi society.{{sfn|Lewis|2011}}{{cite web|url=https://www.thedailystar.net/city/news/jailed-love-1781023|title=Jailed for love|website=The Daily Star|date=3 August 2019}} Some couples may commit suicide for not being supported by their families and society.
In Egypt
In Egypt, love marriages, especially interfaith marriages, are generally considered socially unacceptable. Interfaith marriages are often seen as a tactic to recruit members from other religions. Such marriages sometimes result in sectarian violence. According to Egyptian law, a man from another religion must convert to Islam to marry a Muslim woman. However, a Christian woman may marry a Muslim man without converting, but officials require the woman to produce a letter of approval from her church, which is rarely granted.{{cite news|title=Egypt: The forbidden love of interfaith romances|url=https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-29932094|access-date=31 January 2015|work=BBC News|date=24 November 2014}}
See also
- Forced marriage
- Love Commandos, a group of activists in India that protects couples who have entered a love marriage from violence.
References
{{Reflist}}
Bibliography
- {{cite book|last=Lewis|first=David|author-link=David Lewis (academic)|title=Bangladesh: Politics, Economy and Civil Society|year=2011|publisher=Cambridge University Press|isbn=9780521886123}}
{{Types of marriages}}