Any Major Dude Will Tell You

Steely Dan FAQ author Anthony Robustelli describes "Any Major Dude Will Tell You" as one of Steely Dan's smoothest songs and an exemplar of the 1970s California sound."{{cite book|title=Steely Dan FAQ: All That's Left to Know About This Elusive Band|author=Robustelli, Anthony|pages=99–100|year=2017|publisher=Backbeat Books|isbn=978-1495025129}} The lyrics attempt to comfort the singer's friend who is going through a difficult time.{{cite web|title=Any Major Dude Will Tell You|author=Mason, Stewart|url=http://www.allmusic.com/song/any-major-dude-will-tell-you-mt0002805019|publisher=AllMusic|access-date=2017-05-18}} The editors of Goldmine describe the refrain as beginning "with encouraging lyrics from one friend to another in a time of need, 'Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend, any minor world that breaks apart falls together again.'"{{cite web|title=Fabulous Flip Sides In Memoriam – Steely Dan's Walter Becker|url=https://www.goldminemag.com/fabulous-flip-sides/fabulous-flip-sides-in-memoriam-steely-dans-walter-becker|date=September 4, 2017|access-date=2020-07-01|publisher=Goldmine}} Steely Dan biographer Brian Sweet describes this theme as one of "madness and insecurity."{{cite book|title=Steely Dan: Reelin' in the Years|author=Sweet, Brian|pages=99–103, 298|year=2016|publisher=Omnibus|isbn=978-1468313147}} John Totten explains that the friend the singer is addressing has gone mad and is in distress for some undisclosed reason.{{cite web|title=The Comfort Food of Pretzel Logic: Regulating Emotion With Steely Dan|author=Totten, John|url=https://theotherjournal.com/2011/10/24/the-comfort-food-of-pretzel-logic-regulating-emotion-with-steely-dan/|publisher=The Other Journal|date=October 24, 2011|access-date=2017-05-18}} AllMusic critic Stewart Mason feels that the song works particularly well because the "wise-ass" attitude taken by the singer "put sorrow in perspective without minimizing it."

One of the lines in the song refers to a "squonk's tears." The musicians did not know what a squonk was, and during the recording would ask each other in order to try to find out without revealing their ignorance to Fagen and Becker. It turned out that a squonk is a mythical creature that when hunted could cry itself into a pool of tears when cornered.{{cite book|title=Blinded by the Lyrics: Behind the Lines of Rock and Roll's Most Baffling Songs|author=Mann, Brent|pages=66=67|year=2005|publisher=Citadel|isbn= 9780806526959}} Totten believes that the singer is comparing himself to the squonk, and by doing so he humbles himself, giving the comforting message credibility and allowing him to express optimism that things will improve in the future with lines like "Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again".

The instrumentation includes Fagen's keyboards as well as multiple acoustic guitar parts. Fagen sings the lead vocal. Denny Dias has a guitar solo that was written by Becker and Jeff Baxter. Part of Dias' repeating guitar line required vibrato, but since Dias does not use vibrato in his playing he handed the guitar to Baxter to play the last five notes where vibrato was needed. Mason describes the music as "simple and utterly lovely."

AllMusic critic Stephen Thomas Erlewine described "Any Major Dude Will Tell You" as "gorgeous."{{cite web|title=Pretzel Logic|author=Erlewine, Stephen Thomas|author-link=Stephen Thomas Erlewine|url=http://www.allmusic.com/album/pretzel-logic-mw0000192000|publisher=AllMusic|access-date=2017-05-18}} Stewart Mason described it as one of the group's "most underrated and appealing songs." The Brownsville Herald contributor Bobby Alvarez described it as "a good number" and particularly praised the vocals.{{cite news|title=Today's Youth Must Replace Routine with Initiative|author=Alvarez, Bobby|newspaper=The Brownsville Herald|date=April 2, 1974|via=newspapers.com|page=9}} Rolling Stone magazine critic Bid Scoppa described it as being at worst a "fine oddball pop [song]...which would make a terrific single."{{cite web|title=Pretzel Logic|author=Scoppa, Bud|url=https://www.rollingstone.com/music/albumreviews/pretzel-logic-19740523|publisher=Rolling Stone|access-date=2017-05-14|date=May 23, 1974}} Something Else! critic Victor Aaron also felt that the song would have made a hit single, and noted that it did receive some radio airplay when it was released as the B-side of "Rikki Don't Lose That Number."{{cite web|title=Steely Dan Sunday, "Any Major Dude Will Tell You" (1974)|date=August 7, 2011|author=Aaron, S. Victor|url=http://somethingelsereviews.com/2011/08/07/steely-dan-sunday-any-major-dude-will-tell-you-1974/|publisher=Something Else!|access-date=2017-05-18}} The song was included on several Steely Dan compilation albums, including Greatest Hits in 1978, Citizen Steely Dan in 1993 and Showbiz Kids: The Steely Dan Story, 1972–1980 in 2000.{{cite web|title=Greatest Hits|author=Elias, Jason|url=http://www.allmusic.com/album/greatest-hits-mw0000320464|publisher=AllMusic|access-date=2017-05-18}}{{cite web|title=Citizen Steely Dan|author=Erlewine, Stephen Thomas|author-link=Stephen Thomas Erlewine|url=http://www.allmusic.com/album/citizen-steely-dan-mw0000622056|publisher=AllMusic|access-date=2017-05-18}}{{cite web|title=Showbiz Kids: The Steely Dan Story, 1972–1980|author=Erlewine, Stephen Thomas|author-link=Stephen Thomas Erlewine|url=http://www.allmusic.com/album/showbiz-kids-the-steely-dan-story-1972-1980-mw0000107084|publisher=AllMusic|access-date=2017-05-18}}

American alternative rock band Wilco covered the song for the 2000 movie Me, Myself & Irene.{{cite news|title=Now Playing: Hot Summer Soundtracks|author=Ferman, Dave|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/11088826/santa_cruz_sentinel/|newspaper=Santa Cruz Sentinel|date=June 23, 2000|access-date=2017-05-18|page=20|via=newspapers.com}} Santa Cruz Sentinel reporter Dave Ferman describes their cover as being loving and faithful. Tom Robinson inserted a verse from "Any Major Dude Will Tell You" into his cover of "Rikki Don't Lose That Number" on his 1984 album Hope and Glory.{{cite news|title=Rock Report|author=Rene, Sheila|url=https://www.newspapers.com/clip/11088990/santa_cruz_sentinel/|newspaper=Santa Cruz Sentinel|access-date=2017-05-18|date=November 23, 1984|page=11|via=newspapers.com}}

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• Donald Fagen – lead vocals, electric piano, background vocals
• Walter Becker – background vocals
• Jeff Baxter – electric guitar
• Denny Dias – electric guitar
• Dean Parks – acoustic guitar
• David Paich – electric piano
• Chuck Rainey – bass{{Cite book|title=Steely Dan FAQ : all that's left to know about this elusive band|last=Robustelli, Anthony|date=2017|publisher=WI|isbn=9781495025129|pages=99|oclc=1018394177}}
• Jim Gordon – drums

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Category:Songs written by Donald Fagen

Category:Songs written by Walter Becker

Category:Steely Dan songs

Category:1973 songs

Category:Song recordings produced by Gary Katz