Talk:2009 Budweiser Shootout/GA1

GA Review

{{al|{{#titleparts:2009 Budweiser Shootout/GA1|-1}}|noname=yes}}
:This review is transcluded from Talk:2009 Budweiser Shootout/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Usernameunique (talk · contribs) 22:30, 30 July 2019 (UTC)

Lead

{{tq|On lap 25, a caution flag was given, as Carl Edwards became the leader beforehand.}} — This makes it sounds as if Edwards becoming the leader caused the caution.
Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)

Infobox

{{tq|(313.822 km)}} ... {{tq|(301.752 km)}} ... {{tq|168.564 mph (271.277 km/h)}} — This is probably overly precise, and could be rounded to one or two decimal places.
Done up to two decimal places. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|Temperatures up to 66.2 °F (19.0 °C); wind speeds up to 10.24 mph (16.48 km/h)}} — Do you know the lows as well? That is, could you say "temperatures from X to 66.2 ... wind speeds from xx to 10.24 ..."?
The range of the wind speeds do not exist in the citation attached to it. MWright96 (talk) 07:01, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|Announcers Mike Joy, Darrell Waltrip, Larry McReynolds}} ... {{tq|Nielsen Ratings 4.9/9 (Final) 4.1/7 (Overnight)}} — Worth mentioning in body? Just a thought.
I've mentioned the announcers in the race section and the final nielsen ratings in the post-race section. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)

Background

{{tq|the others are Michigan International Speedway, Auto Club Speedway, Indianapolis Motor Speedway, Pocono Raceway and Talladega Superspeedway.}} — Perhaps "Michigan International Speedway [in X], Auto Club Speedway [in Y]," etc.
Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
Does the front stretch not count as a turn, given that it looks like a bend in the image? And why does it link to Straight (racing)?
This is called the tri-oval; NASCAR does not recognize it as an official turn. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|it was rebranded the Sprint Unlimited in 2013}} — Since Budweiser Shootout now redirects to Advance Auto Parts Clash, has it been rebranded once again?
Have reworded and replaced the out-of-date existing reliable reference with an up-to-date reliable source. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|A total of 28 teams were eligible to compete}} — Does that mean 28 cars as well, or can teams have multiple cars?
No, just the drivers. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|In addition, each of the four manufacturers received one "wild card" berth for a car or driver not already qualified}} — In addition to the top points getters, or in addition to the 28 eligible teams?
After the 10-minute pit stop, how did the race restart?
For one lap behind the pace car. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)

Practice and qualifying

{{tq|Two practice sessions were held before the race, which was on Friday afternoon}} — What day/time were they held? Also, seems like the "Friday afternoon" part could go in "Background".
Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
Last sentence in the first paragraph needs work. It's grammatically unsound, but more importantly it seems like it's trying to do two things: give the order of the second qualifying round, and give the order of the entire qualifying draw. (I think you're missing Denny Hamlin.)
Reworded. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
Still doesn't work. First, it looks like you need a semicolon instead of a comma after Earnhardt. Second, you say those drivers rounded out the top ten, but only list nine.
{{done}} MWright96 (talk) 06:46, 3 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|chose their starting positions by a lot}} — Was any "choice" actually involved, or was it essentially just drawing numbers from a hat?
All drivers drew the positions of where they started. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|I had my eye on the bottle}} — What bottle?
Removed that part of the sentence entirely. MWright96 (talk) 07:01, 31 July 2019 (UTC)

Race

{{tq|The 75-lap race began at 8:10 p.m.}} — So it was the practice sessions (see above) that were on Friday afternoon? The way that part is worded, it makes it seem as if the race was on Friday afternoon.
{{tq|Logano did the same for missing the mandatory pre-race drivers' meeting due to him participating in the track's ARCA Re/Max Series race.}} — Seems kind of harsh, any idea why they do that?
It is not stated why exactly so. MWright96 (talk) 07:01, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|Menard held the lead going into the back stretch}} — of the first lap?
Yes, have clarified to say that. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|the top seven cars were in a single file with Earnhardt the first driver on the outside lane, and by the conclusion of the lap, side-by-side racing began.}} — Was Menard on the inside lane? If they were single file, why was there both an outside and an inside lane?
Reworded the entire sentence. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|were collected in the crash}} — Odd phrasing.
Reworded. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|Kahne took the lead on the 27th lap, but Kyle Busch passed him for the position, but the latter had no assistance from Johnson, as Kahne regained the lead.}} — Confusing sentence.
Reworded. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
It now reads {{tq|He held it until Kyle Busch passed him on the later.}} What does "on the later" mean?
{{tq|from another car to regain the lead}} — From what car?
Removed this sentence. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|Jeff Gordon fell behind in the middle lane}} — What lap?
Clarified. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|Edwards and Kyle Busch ran into the infield grass}} — Was this on the lap after the pit stop?
During the pit stops. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|Kyle Busch led Earnhardt}} — Did he pass him coming out of pit lane?
Yes. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|Earnhardt lost the draft after getting loose}} — What does it mean that he lost the draft? Why would he benefit from drafting if he was at the front?
Have fixed the structure of the sentence. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|Biffle was tagged by possibly Mears.}} — "tagged" is a bit jargoney. And why "possibly"?
It is not know for certain whether it was Mears who made contact with Biffle. MWright96 (talk) 07:01, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|sent him up the track.}} — What do you mean by "up the track"?
This is meant by sending the driver to the right. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|McMurray's sizable lead}} — How sizable?
It is not stated how much of a lead McMurray held at the time. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|bump drafting was observed}} — What's bump drafting? Also, you should probably say what happened, rather than what was observed.
Wikilinked and taken on your advice. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|event-breaking}} — You mean event-record?
{{done}} MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{tq|it bounced several times}} — What does this mean?
Reworded for clarity. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
Still not sure what "unsettled on the circuit" means.
Removed it to say simply that McMurray said he felt no loss of car control. MWright96 (talk) 06:46, 3 August 2019 (UTC)

Overall

Looks good, {{u|MWright96}}. Comments are above; I still need to look at the images and references. --Usernameunique (talk) 22:30, 30 July 2019 (UTC)
{{reply|Usernameunique}} Have made edits to the article where appropriate. MWright96 (talk) 07:01, 31 July 2019 (UTC)
{{u|MWright96}}, just a few further comments above. Meanwhile, the images look good, though I would suggest adding alt text. --Usernameunique (talk) 21:24, 2 August 2019 (UTC)
{{reply|Usernameunique}} Have added the alt text to the images. MWright96 (talk) 06:46, 3 August 2019 (UTC)
{{reply|Usernameunique}} Been one week. Any progress on the review? MWright96 (talk) 11:06, 10 August 2019 (UTC)
Thanks for the reminder, {{u|MWright96}}. Did another brief read through, and am now promoting. One note about the references: You don't need the retrieval dates for archived links, since you already have the archival dates. --Usernameunique (talk) 18:58, 11 August 2019 (UTC)