Talk:Atari Calculator/GA1
GA Review
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| result = Unsuccessful. jlwoodwa (talk) 21:48, 28 October 2024 (UTC)
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{{Good article tools}}
Nominator: {{User|Appsoft4}} 21:48, 11 September 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Jlwoodwa (talk · contribs) 15:43, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
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| colspan="3" | 1. {{Wikipedia:Good article criteria/GAC|1}}: {{GATable/item|1a|n|Prose is often unclear and ungrammatical; see {{slink|#Prose}} }} {{GATable/item|1b|n|Many short sections, and the features list should have prose; see {{slink|#Style}} }} |
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| colspan="3" | 2. {{Wikipedia:Good article criteria/GAC|2}}, as shown by a source spot-check: {{GATable/item|2a|y| }} {{GATable/item|2b|n|The features section is insufficiently cited; see {{slink|#Citations}} }} {{GATable/item|2c|n|A few issues; see {{slink|#Original research}} }} {{GATable/item|2d|n|The features list borders on plagiarism; see {{slink|#Copyright}} }} |
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| colspan="3" | 3. {{Wikipedia:Good article criteria/GAC|3}}: {{GATable/item|3a|y| }} {{GATable/item|3b|n|Excessive detail on tangentially relevant topics; see {{slink|#Focus}} }} {{GATable/item|4|y| }} {{GATable/item|5|y| }} |
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| colspan="3" | 6. {{Wikipedia:Good article criteria/GAC|6}}: {{GATable/item|6a|n|External image might be copyright violation; see {{slink|#Image copyright}} }} {{GATable/item|6b|y| }} {{GATable/item|7|n|This article's pretty far from meeting the GA requirements, so I'm closing it as fail. }} |
=Prose=
The article has frequent grammatical errors. In particular, there are several instances of missing or incorrect articles. For example:
- {{tq|In 1979, the screenshot}} should be {{tq|a screenshot}}.
- {{tq|program got product ID number CX-8102}} should be {{tq|the program}}.
- {{tq|in the form of boxed diskette}} should be either {{tq|a boxed diskette}} or {{tq|boxed diskettes}}.
Examples of more general grammatical errors:
- {{tq|After 1982, there was little news about the Atari Calculator, its development, and it was excluded from the listing in the next official catalogs by Atari.}}
- {{tq|Cover design and fan art illustrations assisting the article authored by Oliver Rapp.}}
Some sentences have too many errors for me to figure out what they're meant to say:
{{tqb|In addition, two source printiouts, which included code for floating-point arithmetic handling, were scanned and uploaded the Atari Calculator cartridge specification, handwritten by Shaw, and the official prited user manual for the Atari Calculator. Savetz uploaded it all with a permission from Shaw, and the original printouts Shaw had donated to and now are storing at the Strong Museum, as well as all of the materials related to Atari, she collected during her employment period at the Atari (1978–1980).}}
Beyond the outright errors, many sentences are too long and roundabout to easily follow. For example:
{{tqb|In 1979, the screenshot of the Atari Calculator, with the title ATARI CALCULATOR COPYRIGHT 1979 in the main window, was printed in the "Touch the future." brochure on the screenshots gallery page, featuring the upcoming Atari 800 computer. The UI was colored in light bluish text on a dark blue background.}}
I would phrase this instead as:
{{tqb|In 1979, Atari printed a brochure titled "Touch the future", which featured the upcoming Atari 800 computer. The brochure had a gallery of screenshots, including one of the Atari Calculator's main window. In this screenshot, the program had the title "ATARI CALCULATOR COPYRIGHT 1979", and its UI had light bluish text on a dark blue background.}}
This groups related information together, and gives necessary context before going into the details. jlwoodwa (talk) 18:52, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
=Style=
I think {{slink|Atari Calculator#Features}} should have prose{{snd}}the features should be described with full sentences, and grouped into paragraphs by topic. jlwoodwa (talk) 19:44, 28 October 2024 (UTC)
Additionally, {{slink|Atari Calculator|Ports|Atari hardware calculators}} are very short and I don't think they should have their own sections. See MOS:OVERSECTION. jlwoodwa (talk) 19:49, 28 October 2024 (UTC)
=Citations=
{{slink|Atari Calculator#Features}} does not have any inline citations. It begins with:
{{tqb|Data sources: the official Atari manuals and catalogs, Carol Shaw's papers, the Atari Connection magazine, the AtariWiki}}
Beyond the issue of these not being full citations, you need to identify which of those sources supports each line in the features list. jlwoodwa (talk) 20:17, 28 October 2024 (UTC)
Also, the citations after "Benj Edwards" and "Peter Dell" are not actually sources that support the article{{snd}}they're links to those people's personal websites or profiles. That is not what citations are for. jlwoodwa (talk) 20:21, 28 October 2024 (UTC)
The citation for Peter Dell's quotation in {{slink|Atari Calculator#Legacy}} should be a proper citation, rather than an external link in the body of the article. jlwoodwa (talk) 21:06, 28 October 2024 (UTC)
=Original research=
{{tq|After 1982, there was little news about the Atari Calculator}} is not directly supported by the sources you cite. You cite three individual publications that do not mention a product, but that is not a reliable source that there wasn't news about that product. Similarly, {{tq|none of them had programming support and an RPN input}} requires a source that states that. You list examples of calculators without those features, but that is not a reliable source that nothing Atari produced had those features. jlwoodwa (talk) 20:41, 28 October 2024 (UTC)
=Copyright=
{{slink|Atari Calculator#Features}} is mostly copied from the 1981 Personal Computer Product Catalog, modified by combining some lines. This requires a citation to that particular source, rather than {{tq|the official Atari manuals and catalogs}} in general. It also requires clearer in-text attribution. Alternatively, and preferably, it could be rewritten to not have this copying/close paraphrasing. This could happen in the process of converting it to prose, as described in {{slink|#Style}}. jlwoodwa (talk) 20:59, 28 October 2024 (UTC)
=Focus=
In my opinion, {{slink|Atari Calculator|Legacy|Ports|Alternatives}} go into excessive detail about topics that are only tangentially relevant to the Atari Calculator. Many of these details are cited to blogs, forums, wikis, and personal websites. Self-published sources are sometimes suitable for citations, but they shouldn't determine the article's focus. jlwoodwa (talk) 21:20, 28 October 2024 (UTC)
=Image copyright=
The only image used in the article is :File:Atari Calculator screenshot.png, which has a valid fair use rationale (although it's tagged as a video game screenshot for some reason). However, several images are linked using {{tl|external image}}, and one of them, [https://www.vintagecomputing.com/wp-content/images/interviews/shaw/atari_calculator_box_large.jpg the box art], does not have any indication that it is being distributed with the permission of the copyright holder. jlwoodwa (talk) 21:31, 28 October 2024 (UTC)
