Talk:Boone Jenner/GA1

{{atopg

| status =

| result = Passed. Bruxton (talk) 00:38, 24 March 2024 (UTC)

}}

{{Good article tools}}

{{al|{{#titleparts:Boone Jenner/GA1|-1}}|noname=yes}}
:This review is transcluded from Talk:Boone Jenner/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: {{User|HickoryOughtShirt?4}}

Reviewer: Bruxton (talk · contribs) 16:43, 22 March 2024 (UTC)

:I am happy to review this article. I go through the review rather methodically. I will make suggestions for you to consider. Bruxton (talk) 16:43, 22 March 2024 (UTC)

:: {{U|Bruxton}}, Thanks so much for taking on this article! HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 18:36, 22 March 2024 (UTC)

:::{{ping|HickoryOughtShirt?4}} I have completed much of the review and will do a final check after you have a look at the concerns listed. Bruxton (talk) 14:35, 23 March 2024 (UTC)

::::{{ping|HickoryOughtShirt?4}} Thank you for your edits. There is one concern that has not been addressed and I marked it as not done below. Bruxton (talk) 19:52, 23 March 2024 (UTC)

:::::Yes, sorry I wasn’t done yet. Will complete it shortly. HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 21:51, 23 March 2024 (UTC)

:{{ok}} all of the facts in the lead are repeated in the body with citations. The lead appears to summarize the article well

:{{ok}} "As a youth, Jenner played four seasons of major junior hockey" Consider, is there another word we can use in place of youth? {{done}}

:* I changed it to teenager because he was 19 in his last season, thus still a teenager.

:{{ok}} "Due to his junior play, Jenner was selected by Columbus" Due to his junior play feels clumsy to me {{done}}

:* Changed to {{tq|His play with the Generals resulted in....}}

:{{ok}} "Jenner won gold" consider "gold medal" {{done}}

:{{ok}} "to parents Matt and Terri Jenner as the youngest of three boys" consider "and he was the youngest" {{done}}

:{{ok}} "Jenner was a runner up" I think in this context "runner–up" should be hyphenated {{done}}

:{{ok}} "Rookie of the year" consider capitalizing "Year" {{done}}

:{{ok}} "to regain his scoring touch" consider that "scoring touch" is ambiguous and colloquial {{done}}

:* Changed to {{tq| After coming back to the lineup, he faced difficulties in recapturing his scoring form}}

:{{ok}} "before being returned to the Generals" consider this makes him seem like a thing that was returned. Maybe "he returned" {{done}}

:{{ok}} "While Jenner did not play in Canada's bronze medal game due to a suspension," consider there was no talk of his suspension prior to the sentence. {{done}}

:* I added the word elbowing

:{{ok}} hat trick should bee both linked and hyphenated "hat-trick" first occurrence {{done}}

:{{ok}} 2–1 and others like it should probably be 2–1 {{done}}

:{{ok}} "although they would eventually be eliminated" should probably be past tense "they were" {{done}}

:{{ok}} "whom helped him score his first and second NHL goals on October" maybe consider changing whom to who {{done}}

:{{ok}} "His rookie season was cut short however" consider His rookie season ended after he suffered a leg injury" {{done}}

:{{ok}} "He also helped the team set a new franchise record with an eight consecutive winning streak" consider "eight consecutive wins" {{done}}

:{{ok}} "Jenner was held to only 31 games during" consider "Jenner only played in 31 games during" {{done}}

:{{ok}} "Jenner was shortly thereafter placed on their injured" consider "shortly thereafter" seems clumsy {{done}}

:{{ok}} "power play goals" consider hyphenating power-play {{done}}

:{{ok}} "He continued to produce offensively" consider produce on offense {{done}}

:{{ok}} "Jenner experienced a brief dip in scoring" brief dip seems colloquial and undefined {{done}}

:* Changed to {{tq|slowed down}}

:{{ok}} "by the mid-point of February" consider middle {{done}}

:{{ok}} "Coming off his poor season" consider After his poor season {{done}}

:{{ok}} "In spite of the move" consider "Despite" {{done}} {{highlight|I may have been mistaken about this request and have placed a message for the nominator.}} [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk%3AHickoryOughtShirt%3F4&diff=1215710629&oldid=1215430224 talk page message] Bruxton (talk) 18:19, 26 March 2024 (UTC)

:{{?}} "Jenner still experienced lengthy scoring droughts" consider a better word in place of droughts {{done}}

:* I merged this sentence and the next so it now says {{tq|Despite the move, Jenner still struggled to score consistently until the Blue Jackets acquired Thomas Vanek after the NHL Trade Deadline}}

:{{ok}} "They struggled to develop chemistry as a line" consider that develop chemistry may not be easy for non english speakers to understand since nothing involves science here. {{done}}

:* Just removed it so it now says {{tq|They struggled as a line and were slow to produce points over the first few games of their series against the Washington Capitals}}

:{{ok}} "offseason training regime." consider "regimen" {{done}}

:{{ok}} "The trio immediately developed chemistry together" consider other description of their ability to work together

:* Just removed it so it now says {{tq|The trio immediately became a line that was considered to "embody the club’s identity."}}

:{{ok}} "Jenner went pointless" consider "went without scoring a goal" {{done}}

:{{ok}} " Anderson returned the lines were once again rearraigned. Jenner" consider another word for "rearraigned" or correct spelling {{done}}

:{{ok}} "Although his linemates shuffled due to injuries in the lineup" consider that this wording seems clumsy {{done}}

:{{ok}} "He began the season strong, tallying two goals" consider another word for strong {{done}}

:{{ok}} "play all of his 500th career NHL games" 500th seems incorrect in this sentence {{done}}

:{{ok}} "Jakub Voracek and playing on the top power play unit." I think power play needs hyphen {{done}}

:{{ok}} "they immediately returned to form and picked up in scoring." consider copyediting the sentence as is ambiguous in descrioption {{done}}

:{{ok}} "In spite of their production, the Blue Jackets maintained a losing 20–22–1" consider "Despite" {{done}}

:{{ok}} "passing Cam Atkinson for second most played in franchise history." consider adding a determiner like "the" before second {{done}}

:{{ok}} "In spite of his personal achievements during the season" consider removing "personal" {{done}}

:{{ok}} "On November 18, Jenner skating in his 675th" consider using the past tense "skated" {{done}}

:{{ok}} Playing style and Personal life sections are both ok

:{{ok}} Early life section citations check out

:{{ok}} "Due to their struggles, former Blue Jackets assistant coach Gary Agnew took over as head coach for the Generals in early November." The source behind the citation is just a hiring announcement but does not say why he was hired. {{done}}

:{{ok}} Playing career Amateur Spot checked the majority and the rest of citations and they line up.

:{{ok}} Professional Early years (2012–2016) "Jenner and fellow rookie Jack Johnson scored their first playoff goals within three minutes of each other during Game 3" this might be a slight misinterpretation of the reference, it actually says "scoring a pair of goals in the first three minutes" {{done}}

:{{ok}} Professional Early years (2012–2016) "Following his successful rookie season, Jenner was held to only 31 games during the 2014–15 NHL season due to various injuries" this line needs a reference because it is not supported by the citation.

:* {{re|Bruxton}} Done. I actually added a lot here so you may want to re-review this paragraph. HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 22:01, 23 March 2024 (UTC)

:{{ok}} Finding post-season success, captaincy (2016–present) (to be done) Not an error, but should we list his nickname in the article? [https://www.dispatch.com/story/sports/nhl/columbus-blue-jackets/2018/08/20/blue-jackets-spotlight-boone-jenner/11001602007/ Bam Bam]?

:* I don't think that is a common enough nickname. HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 15:44, 23 March 2024 (UTC)

:{{ok}} Finding post-season success, captaincy (2016–present) citations support the text in the rest of the section

:{{ok}} Playing style citation supports the section

:{{ok}} Personal life citations support the section

:{{ok}} Career statistics I must admit I was not sure if this section needed to be cited. I checked other sports articles Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers and I see that these types of charts are not cited.

:{{ok}} Awards and honours section the citation supports this section

:{{ok}} There are three images used in the article and all seem to be properly licensed and free.

{{Progress bar|100|height=8|text=reviewed}}

{{abot}}