Talk:Dick Donovan/GA1

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{{al|{{#titleparts:Dick Donovan/GA1|-1}}|noname=yes}}
:This review is transcluded from Talk:Dick Donovan/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 12:05, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

Taking this review as part of the GAN Backlog Drive of April to May 2020. MWright96 (talk) 12:05, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.
2. :a (prose): {{GAList/check|y}} b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): {{GAList/check|y}}
3. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
4. :a (reference section): {{GAList/check|y}} b (citations to reliable sources): {{GAList/check|y}} c (OR): {{GAList/check|y}}
5. ::
6. It is broad in its coverage.
7. :a (major aspects): {{GAList/check|y}} b (focused): {{GAList/check|y}}
8. ::
9. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
10. :Fair representation without bias: {{GAList/check|y}}
11. ::
12. It is stable.
13. :No edit wars, etc.: {{GAList/check|y}}
14. ::
15. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
16. :a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): {{GAList/check|y}} b (appropriate use with suitable captions): {{GAList/check|y}}
17. ::
18. Overall:
19. :Pass/Fail: {{GAList/check|y}}
20. ::

• Hyphens should be replaced by en dashes (–) per MOS:DASH

• Wikilink the term winning percentage
• "Donovan struggled in 1960 and moved to the bullpen," - {{xt|and was moved}}

• "where he played shortstop until converting to pitcher his senior year." - the text in bold can be written to say {{Xt|to a pitcher for his senior year.}} or {{xt|to a pitcher in his senior year.}}
• Wikilink exhibition game for those unfamiliar with the sports term
• "Donovan's pitching caught the eye of Boston Braves' scout Jeff Jones," - more formal; can be written to say either {{xt|attracted the notice}}, {{xt|impressed}} or {{xt|attracted the attention}}

• "He made his major league debut April 24," - {{xt|debut on April 24,}}
• "Donovan started the year with the Braves, then spent most of the year in Milwaukee," - repetition of the word "year"
• "Fearing he would get stuck in the minor leagues," - {{xt|remain}}
• "and he helped the Brewers win the American Association pennant.[2][1]" - refs in numerical order please
• "with the exception of a brief call-up in late May/early June." - {{xt|late May to early June.}}
• “It brought me under the wing of [Whitlow] Wyatt." Wyatt, a former pitcher for the Dodgers," - Try not to have the last word of a sentence start the next one like this
• "taught Donovan how to throw a slider while Donovan was at Atlanta." - repetition of the word "Donovan"
• "Donovan made the Tigers out of spring training but only appeared in two games before the Tigers" - repetition of the word "Tigers"

• You might want to say briefly who Bob Keegan was
• "though he did not pitch in the game.[11][1]" - again, the references are better off placed in numerical order
• "His record was 13-2 July 20" - {{xt|13–2 on July 20}}
• "Donovan finished his first full season in the big leagues" - please avoid using the term "big leagues"
• "Donovan gave up three runs in ​7 2⁄3" - do you mean {{xt|​7 2⁄3 innings}}?
• "When he faced Kansas City August 15," - {{xt|faced Kansas City on August 15,}}
• "Against Cleveland August 31," - similar issue to the one above
• "Donovan threw a shutout against Cleveland May 25, 1957," - again the same as the two previous queries raised above
• "He gave up four runs" - how about substituting the word "gave up" with {{xt|relinquished}}
• Wikilink doubleheader for non-Sports fans
• "Eight and three on July 3," - please clarify what is meant with regards of the text I've highlighted in bold
• "There was a bright spot for him on June 15," - try to rewrite the text in bold to a more formal way of writing
• "He came alive" - same issue as above
• "the second half of the season," - the word {{xt|during}} or {{xt|in}} should be added to the beginning of this text
• "He had a bit of a skid to start 1959;" - try to reword the text in bold so that it is more formal
• "Donovan was 9-6 September 2" - {{xt|on September 2}}
• "After only going ​2 2⁄3 in a no-decision" - feel like there is a word missing after the text in bold
• "a July 29 game against the Senators in which he gave up" - {{xt|relinquished}} for variety
• "but it was still 5.38, highest it had been in any of Donovan's full major league seasons." - {{xt|the highest}}

• Wikilink Sports Illustrated
• "as his stellar 2.40 ERA (a career-low) led the American League." - avoiding using non-neutral wording such as "stellar"

• Wikilink the term Opening Day
• "he shut out the Red Sox April 10." - {{xt|on April 10}}
• "He got off to an 8-0 start," - try {{xt|He commenced with an}}
• "Again, he was selected to both All-Star Games," - {{xt|Donovan was again selected to play both All-Star Games,}}
• "September 4, he limited the White Sox to two runs" - {{xt|During a game on September 4,}}
• "(tops in the AL)" - {{xt|(topping the AL standings)}}
• Wikilink Sporting News
• "July 5, he held the Yankees to one run," - {{xt|On July 5,}}
• "Against the White Sox in the second game of a doubleheader September 6," - {{xt|during September 6,}}
• "he gave up 16 hits" - you can change the word in bold to {{xt|relinquished}} for variety

• "when coach (and later manager) Whitlow Wyatt helped teach it to him." - I think the parentheses should be deleted to avoid sounding like a side-note

• "Donovan married his wife, Patricia Casey, on February 7, 1959. Patricia, from Quincy, Massachusetts, was a stewardess for United Airlines." - think these two sentences can be merged into one and shortened
• "he earned his stockbroker's license and joined the reputable firm of Eastman & Dillon in Boston." - more concise; {{xt|joined Boston-based firm Eastman & Dillon.}}
• "He died from cancer January 6, 1997." - {{xt|on January 6, 1997.}}

• References 3, 32, 35, 42, 43 & 52 are missing the page numbers on the various news articles can be found within them
• The work field in Reference 37 should be changed from Prescott Evening Courier to Baseball-Reference

Am going to place the review on hold to allow the nominator to address/respond to the queries raised above. MWright96 (talk) 13:53, 8 April 2020 (UTC)

• {{reply|Sanfranciscogiants17}} Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 19:19, 8 April 2020 (UTC)