Talk:FTC v. Microsoft/GA1

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:This review is transcluded from Talk:FTC v. Microsoft/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: {{User|ElijahPepe}} 04:56, 24 May 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Shushugah (talk · contribs) 20:34, 19 August 2024 (UTC)

=== Summary ===

Generally very well written and almost a GA already. Below are some nitpicks and indications of a thorough check. I would also be grateful if you'd be willing to review Microsoft and unions an article with overlap in topic but distinct enough still.

:Issues should be resolved. elijahpepe@wikipedia (he/him) 15:07, 25 August 2024 (UTC)

• {{Y}} All images are permissably licensed, as they're WP:Public Domain (needs improved labels)

I spot checked the following sources and will continue to look further as you make improvements:

• {{Y}} {{Cite web |last=Roth |first=Emma |date=2022-02-09 |title=Microsoft says it will keep Call of Duty on PlayStation ‘beyond the existing agreement’ |url=https://www.theverge.com/2022/2/9/22925510/microsoft-activision-sony-nintendo-app-store-antitrust-policies |access-date=2024-08-19 |website=The Verge |language=en}}
• {{Y}} {{Cite news |last=Kang |first=Cecilia |date=2023-07-12 |title=F.T.C.’s Court Loss Raises Fresh Questions About Its Chair’s Strategy |url=https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/11/technology/lina-khan-ftc-strategy.html |access-date=2024-08-19 |work=The New York Times |language=en-US |issn=0362-4331}}
• {{hmmm}} This is an imprecise summary. It says that Sony (Playstation) won't have access to Elder Scrolls, but that doesn't mean it will be exclusively available on Xbox.{{Cite web |url=https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/video-games/microsofts-xbox-plans-revealed-emails-tied-ftc-case-rcna105766 |title=Microsoft's Xbox plans revealed in emails tied to FTC case |date=September 19, 2023 |last=Collier |first=Kevin |publisher=NBC News |access-date=September 19, 2023 |archive-date=September 19, 2023 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230919150925/https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/video-games/microsofts-xbox-plans-revealed-emails-tied-ftc-case-rcna105766 |url-status=live }}

=== Changes required ===

• ended it if granted -> would halt the acquisition if granted
• filed against the company -> against Activision Blizzard
• are scheduled for December 2023 -> What happened in December? This is past tense so needs updating
• criticized Khan -> criticized FTC Chair Lina Khan
• Judges Daniel P. Collins, Danielle J. Forrest, and Jennifer Sung are depicted, but no context is provided that they are the judges of the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit in either image labels or the body of articles.
• (Re)move WP:CRUFT e.g this passage does not add anything directly in the paragraph:
• Documents submitted by Sony appeared to have been redacted using a black Sharpie but, upon being scanned in, the redacted figures were legible. The documents show that Horizon Forbidden West (2022) cost US$212 million over five years with 300 employees while The Last of Us Part II (2020) cost US$220 million with 200 employees.
• Added categories
• :Category:United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit cases
• :Category:Federal Trade Commission litigation

=== Document leak ===

The lede wording is very confusing. It feels both undue to mention the leak, and even if due, the wording is unclear about the fact that the Xbox designs were accidentally uploaded. In the section about Document leak itself, please expand on significant and commentary that ensued afterwards. Also include full date years. September in what year?

{{u|ElijahPepe}} please ping me when you're done with second round of improvements requested

• despite making Redfall (2023) and Starfield (2023) exclusive to Windows and Xbox. -> despite making newly acquired ZeniMax Media franchises Redfall (2023) and Starfield (2023) exclusive to Windows and Xbox.
• Judge Jacqueline Scott Corley -> judge Jacqueline Scott Corley (lowercase judge per MOS:JOBTITLE)
• Bureau of Competition -> FTC Bureau of Competition
• Remove with an internal FTC hearing scheduled for three weeks after the court issues its opinion. (has no point)
• On September 15, -> September 15, 2023
• Injunction case -> when did the preliminary hearing happen?
• wiki link Multiplatform with Cross-platform software

{{Ping|Shushugah}} Done. elijahpepe@wikipedia (he/him) 06:48, 29 August 2024 (UTC)

:@ElijahPepe Congratulations on a {{icon|GA}} Good article! ~ 🦝 Shushugah (he/him • talk) 02:58, 30 August 2024 (UTC)

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