Talk:Full Collapse/GA1

{{Good article tools}}

{{al|{{#titleparts:Full Collapse/GA1|-1}}|noname=yes}}
:This review is transcluded from Talk:Full Collapse/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Kncny11 (talk · contribs) 22:04, 28 March 2021 (UTC)

Ahhhh, great band, great album! I'll be taking a look at this GAN. Any section with a {{Working}} tag means that I haven't finished combing through it, but feel free to start making changes as soon as you see them. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 22:04, 28 March 2021 (UTC)

• "It was released on April 10, 2001, through Victory Records. The band signed to Victory Records after leaving Eyeball Records." {{right arrow}} "It was releaed on April 10, 2001, through Victory Records, to whom the band signed after leaving Eyeball Records."
• No comma after "several issues with Victory Records"

• "Thursday's debut studio album, Waiting, was released" {{right arrow}} "Thursday released their debut album, Waiting,"
• WL Waiting (Thursday album)
• "They had multiple people filling in for guitar as they didn't have a permanent second guitarist." {{right arrow}} "As they lacked a permanent second guitarist, the band had multiple people filling in on guitar."
• "who's" {{right arrow}} "whose"
• "Eyeball was aware that Thursday was outgrowing what support they could provide the band. As a result, they asked other labels to sign the band." {{right arrow}} "Eyeball was aware that Thursday was outgrowing what support they could provide, and asked other labels to sign the band."
• "Their debut" {{right arrow}} "Waiting"
• ""a situation that we would regret."" {{right arrow}} ""a situation that we would regret"." per MOS:LQ
• Which "single person" wrote most of Waiting?

::Not mentioned in source. Yeepsi (talk) 08:53, 29 March 2021 (UTC)

• Use Rickly's full name and position in the band at his first mention
• "They wrapped up a tour of the United States before going to record a new album." {{right arrow}} "They began recording the new album after a US tour."
• WL Jersey City, New Jersey

• "as post-hardcore" {{right arrow}} "as a post-hardcore release"
• "switches from" {{right arrow}} "switches between"
• Remove comma after "typical traits of emo"
• WL first instance of "Understanding in a Car Crash" in the body
• "and subsequently visiting the hospital" {{right arrow}} "and his subsequent visit to the hospital"
• ""within the realm of hardcore."" {{right arrow}} ""within the realm of hardcore"." per MOS:LQ

• "On February 5, 2001, Full Collapse was announced for release for two months later." {{right arrow}} "Thursday announced Full Collapse on February 5, 2001, for release two months later."
• No comma after "April 10, 2001"
• "The band hoped" {{right arrow}} "the band hoped"
• No commas around "Tony Brummel"
• WL Tony Brummel
• "1-page" {{right arrow}} "one-page" per MOS:NUMBERS
• "After three shows part of the Warped Tour" {{right arrow}} "After three shows with Warped Tour"
• When was the "Cross Out the Eyes" music video released?

::Specific date not mentioned in source. Yeepsi (talk) 08:53, 29 March 2021 (UTC)

• Split sentence beginning "In February 2002" into two sentences at the dash.
• "During the same month" {{right arrow}} "The same month,"
• Replace em dash in "Canada-US border" with en dash
• "detailing the internal problems" {{right arrow}} "detailing their internal problems"
• Comma after "album art for Full Collapse"
• Comma after "Thursday-branded whoopee cushions"
• Comma after "regarding art direction and promotion"
• "Thursday wasn't" {{right arrow}} "Thursday was not" per MOS:N'T
• "Only allowed them to leave Victory for a major label"
• "The band appeared at the Bizarre ..."
• "weren't planning" {{right arrow}} "were not planning" per MOS:N'T

• "AbsolutePunk writes that" {{right arrow}} "AbsolutePunk wrote that"
• "He says the" {{right arrow}} "He said that the"
• ""matter of mere seconds."" {{right arrow}} ""matter of mere seconds"." per MOS:LQ
• No commas around "Aubin Paul"
• "Aubin Paul says the" {{right arrow}} "Aubin Paul said the"
• "He adds that" {{right arrow}} "He added that"
• "DaveyBoy says that" {{right arrow}} "DaveyBoy said that"
• ""most immediate album of all time,"" {{right arrow}} ""most immediate album of all time"," per MOS:LQ
• ""hardly put a foot wrong."" {{right arrow}} ""hardly put a foot wrong"." per MOS:LQ
• "He praises the musicianship" {{right arrow}} "He praised the musicianship"
• "Hiller finds that" {{right arrow}} "Hiller found that"
• ""screamy, then brutal."" {{right arrow}} ""screamy, then brutal"." per MOS:LQ
• "Exclaim! writes that" {{right arrow}} "Exclaim! wrote that"
• Pipe Quicksand to Quicksand (American band)
• WL Sense Field
• ""and Sense Field."" {{right arrow}} ""and Sense Field"."
• "Jonah Bayer says" {{right arrow}} "Jonah Bayer said"
• "Edwards finds" {{right arrow}} "Edwards found"
• "He notes" {{right arrow}} "He noted"
• "Morris writes" {{right arrow}} "Morris wrote"
• ""generating intelligent music,"" {{right arrow}} ""generating intelligent music"," per MOS:LQ
• ""unexciting or blasé."" {{right arrow}} ""unexciting or blasé"." per MOS:LQ
• "He says" {{right arrow}} "He said"
• ""not being overbearing."" {{right arrow}} ""not being overbearing"." per MOS:LQ
• "Carr says that" {{right arrow}} "Carr said that"
• "Magazine writes that" {{right arrow}} "Magazine wrote that"
• ""moments of interest."" {{right arrow}} ""moments of interest"." per MOS:LQ

• Move ref [47] to the end of the first sentence rather than the second
• "In February 2009, it was announced that the band would perform the album in its entirety" {{right arrow}} "In February 2009, Thursday announced that they would perform Full Collapse in its entirety"

• Include songwriters in the track listing

::Writer credits aren't mentioned in the booklet. Yeepsi (talk) 08:53, 29 March 2021 (UTC)

• Pipe "producer" to Record producer
• Pipe "engineer" to Audio engineer
• Pipe "mixing" to Mixing engineer
• Pipe "mastering" to Mastering engineer

• In ref [7], the author is listed as the work, and the work (Rolling Stone) is not mentioned at all

• Image is fair use and appropriate
• Article is stable

{{On hold}} until issues are fixed.

:Made the changes. Yeepsi (talk) 08:53, 29 March 2021 (UTC)

::Thanks for making those! Passing now. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 01:51, 31 March 2021 (UTC)