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Talk:Justin Bieber on Twitter/GA1

GA Review

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{{al|{{#titleparts:Justin Bieber on Twitter/GA1|-1}}|noname=yes}}
:This review is transcluded from Talk:Justin Bieber on Twitter/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Thine Antique Pen (talk · contribs) 19:06, 9 June 2012 (UTC)

  • I will review this article. --⇒TAP 19:06, 9 June 2012 (UTC)

Lead

  • Entire

:*'He uses hashtags' ⇒ 'He uses hashtags' — hashtags is a redirect.

:**Is there anything wrong with that? Changed anyway. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)

:*'At one point his fans accounted for three percent of all Twitter traffic' — what point in time? 'At one point' does not say much to me.

:**Added date. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)

:*'... make topics about him like #INDIANEEDSBELIEVETOUR #biebsinparis #JustinbieberinHolland trending' — I'd rather not have that in the lead, topics trend all the time and looks a bit messy.

:**Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)

Introduction

  • Paragraph 1

:*'...collaborations he was involved with and topping the chart' — which chart? UK, US?

:**Switched to indefinite article. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)

:*'His decisions regarding which followers to retweet is a random decision' — clarify please?

:**Leave it to Bieber. Hawkeye7 (talk)

:*'For a brief time in 2011, Bieber quit Twitter' — I'd like a bit more than that. What date did he quit? When did he come back?

:**During April 2011. Added. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)

:*'When Bieber makes a joke on Twitter about what he is doing, it often gets mistaken by people as the truth and ends up reported as true elsewhere' — the source (#13) says about a supergroup. Please explain in article.

:**The supergroup was just a joke, as explained in the source. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)

:*'Author Mike Skinner in "The Story of the Streets" says based on the Twitter metrics, "all roads lead to Justin Bieber"' — says ⇒ said. "The Story of the Streets" ⇒ italics needed, as it is title. However, not that notable — could be removed.

:**Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:12, 9 June 2012 (UTC)

  • Paragraph 2

:*'He has also tweeted about the Kony 2012 campaign' — when did he tweet that?

:**March and April 2012 Hawkeye7 (talk) 00:27, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

:*'He also tweeted about the passing of Whitney Houston' — when did he tweet that?

:**February 2012 Hawkeye7 (talk) 00:27, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

:*'Bieber has also tweeted against texting and driving' — when did this happen, eh?

:**Not while he was driving we hope. Hawkeye7 (talk) 00:27, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

  • Paragraph 3

:*'... following back over 122,987 As of 24 April 2012 which allows fans' — As ⇒ as. Should not be capitalised.

:**Tricky, but done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 00:27, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

  • Paragraph 4

:*'After hitting the 6 million Twitter follower total in November 2010, Bieber gave a shout out to his followers, saying "6 MILLION OF THE GREATEST FANS ON EARTH ON TWITTER!!!! THANK U"[23] Following this news being picked up, #6millionbeliebers became a trending topic on Twitter' — only include higher ones in my sight.

:*'When he passed the 11 million follower count' — when?

:*'... he tweeted "#11MillionBeliebers! I LOVE YOU ALL!! THANK YOU....tonight was already a fun great night and now it is even better. THANK U THANK U THANK U' — cut quote with an ellipsis, I don't need a full tweet which is easily researchable.

:*'In December 2011, following Drew's dismissal from The X Factor' — Drew-who? Which X Factor? Normal? US? etc. Possibly removable.

:**Linked. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

:*Quite short. Possibly could be merged into Paragraph 1.

:**Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

Technology, marketing and the media

  • Paragraph 1

:*Again; 'at one point accounted for three percent of all Twitter related traffic' — when?

:**September 2010 Hawkeye7 (talk)

:*'This resulted in over 180 million page views for the service each month' — what is meant there? Twitter? @justinbieber? Explanation required.

:**Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

:*'In 2010, Stephen Colbert, Drake and Justin Bieber were the three most re-tweeted celebrities on the site' — any specific time, or is this throughout the whole of 2010? Clarification required.

:**Tried to make this clearer. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

:*'Immediately following Bieber updating, sixty responses to him are posted a second' — when? What is meant by that? Is what is trying to be said that when he posts something, sometimes [(when?)] he gets up to 60 responses in a second. Also, sixty ⇒ 60, as it is below 10.

:** MOS:NUMBER: numbers greater than nine, if they are expressed in one or two words, may be rendered in numerals or in words Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

:*'In fact, he was named the top trending star on Twitter in 2010' — I don't like the way that is worded, removing 'In fact, ' would be suitable.

:**Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

:*'Bieber fans were upset with Twitter and tried to cheat the new algorithm by getting related words and mispellings connected to Bieber to trend including the words Twieber and Jieber' — remove? I see no point in saying that they were upset, because not all of them would be. Maybe 'some' would be more applicable in this case.

:**"Bieber fans" is indefinite; but added "some". Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

:*'Bieber related topics would continue to trend on Twitter,[47] including MSG-ANNIVERSARY[48][49][50] Beliebers Love Jelena,[51] and "Happy Birthday Pattie"' — remove comma before reference 47, add comma after MSG-MSG-ANNIVERSARY, remove comma after 'Beliebers Love Jelena' due to the fact that 'and' follows after it.

::*Comment - the comma after Jelena is called a serial comma and is perfectly acceptable. LadyofShalott 23:43, 9 June 2012 (UTC)

::**Added comma after MSG-ANNIVERSARY Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

:*'The Bieber topic in March 2011 he trended alongside the iPad and Charlie Sheen' — doesn't make sense in my sight. Maybe replace with 'In March 2011 the Bieber topic trended alongside Charlie Sheen and the iPad'?

:**Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:02, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

  • Paragraph 2

:*'Klout gives his account a score of 100' — when was the score given? What does this mean? If in past-tense should be 'gave' or something suitable like that.

:**Switched to past tense. (Although of course it is the present.) Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

:***Who knows, could go down! ⇒TAP 10:24, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

:*Suggestion: Lady Gaga, the top followed on twitter? 'He was ahead of ...'

:**Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

:*'... search results for Bieber will pull in Bieber related Tweets in a search results section called "Latest News."' — remove period from quote of "Latest News" as there is not a period in the original quote.

:**Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

  • Paragraph 3

:*'Bieber's tweets drive sales online' — please remove, not required, and how if not removed?

:**Explained in the following sentence. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

:*'Bieber was in an advertisement for Best Buy at a time when he had around 8 million followers' — when was this 'time'?

:*'BET' ⇒ Black Entertainment Television.

:**Done. 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

:*'On the other hand ...' — would like rewording please!

:**Added apostrophe. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

  • Paragraph 4

:*'8.3% of tweets mentioning "bieber" were semi-automated and probably Twitter related spam' — when? Also, capitalise "Bieber" as it is a name.

:**Done. Not capitalising, as not really a name here. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

  • Paragraph 5

:*'His multiple tweets resulted in 32,000 responses each' — hmm, all of them?

:**According to the sources. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

Followers and fans

  • Not much to say here, so it's okay

Twitter mishaps and controversy

  • Paragraph 1

:*'Bieber, along with other celebrities, has been the subject of the false reports of his death on Twitter,[4][122][123] including reports in 2011' — what time in 2011?

:**The source says "the Summer of 2011", but the MOS does not let us say that, so it stays as 2011. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

  • Paragraph 2

:*Fine.

  • Paragraph 3

:*Fine.

  • Paragraph 4

:*'Bieber made a tweet that said “call me now.” and included a phone number for a Texas couple' — when? I know in March 2012 it says about the legal-stuff, but when was the tweet sent?

:**March 2012. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

  • Paragraph 5

:*'The death threats occurred for over a week' — specifically how long? 'over a week' could mean years, or 8 days.

:**Dropped sentence. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

  • Paragraph 6

:*Grand-ish, nothing major.

I'll put this on hold for now so the issues are addressed. Regards, ⇒TAP 20:00, 9 June 2012 (UTC)

  • All points addressed. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:54, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

::Thanks, will try to pass later. ⇒TAP 10:24, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

:GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

  1. It is reasonably well written.
  2. :a (prose): {{GAList/check|aye}} b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): {{GAList/check|aye}}
  3. ::
  4. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
  5. :a (references): {{GAList/check|aye}} b (citations to reliable sources): {{GAList/check|aye}} c (OR): {{GAList/check|aye}}
  6. ::
  7. It is broad in its coverage.
  8. :a (major aspects): {{GAList/check|aye}} b (focused): {{GAList/check|aye}}
  9. ::
  10. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
  11. :Fair representation without bias: {{GAList/check|aye}}
  12. ::
  13. It is stable.
  14. :No edit wars, etc.: {{GAList/check|aye}}
  15. ::
  16. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
  17. :a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): {{GAList/check|aye}} b (appropriate use with suitable captions): {{GAList/check|aye}}
  18. ::
  19. Overall:
  20. :Pass/Fail: {{GAList/check|aye}}
  21. ::

I don't want to see Twitter articles on here really, but I'll pass this one as all the points have been addressed. Regards, ⇒TAP 10:26, 10 June 2012 (UTC)