Talk:Mad Max: Fury Road/GA2

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:This review is transcluded from Talk:Mad Max: Fury Road/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Kncny11 (talk · contribs) 17:35, 6 March 2021 (UTC)

Hey there! I'm going to be reviewing this GAN. All comments should be received within 7 days. Any section that I've tagged with {{Working}} means that I haven't finished coming through for comments, but feel free to start tackling suggestions as I work! Kncny11 ^(shoot) 17:35, 6 March 2021 (UTC)

{{GAProgress | prose = n | mos = y | reflayout = y | reliablesources = neu | originalresearch = y |copyvio = y | broadness = y | focus = y | neutral = y | stable = y | freeortaggedpics = y | picsrelevant = y }}

• "The film is set in a post-apocalyptic desert wasteland where petrol and water are scarce commodities, and follows" {{right arrow}} "Set in a post-apocalyptic desert wasteland where petrol and water are scarce commodities, Fury Road follows"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 01:58, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "and Iraq War, respectively."

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 01:58, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "In 2007, after focusing on the animated comedy Happy Feet, Miller decided to pursue it again." {{right arrow}} "Miller decided to pursue the film again in 2007, after the release of the animated comedy Happy Feet."

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 01:58, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• WL principal photography

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 01:58, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Is Fury Road considered the highest-grossing film even adjusted for inflation? Genuine question

::{{not done}} per consistency with other articles, such as Warcraft (film)#Box office and Ralph Breaks the Internet#Box office, to skimp on details everywhere else Chompy Ace 01:58, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• By that token, the factoid should be mentioned in the body

::{{not done}} per consistency with other articles, such as Warcraft (film)#Box office and Ralph Breaks the Internet#Box office, to skimp on details everywhere else Chompy Ace 01:58, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• WL the best films of all time again in the lede

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:03, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Word count falls at 691 for the plot, falling just within the 400-700 range set by WP:FILMPLOT.

::{{already done}} Chompy Ace 02:05, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• {{xt|Max Rockatansky, a survivor haunted by visions of deceased people, is captured by the War Boys, the army of the tyrannical Immortan Joe, and taken to Joe's Citadel.}} Five clauses is a lot for one sentence. This can probably be broken up.

::{{done}}, reworded Chompy Ace 02:05, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• I don't think you need to specify that his wives were selected for breeding

::{{done}} removed Chompy Ace 02:05, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "the Splendid Angharad, the last of whom is heavily pregnant with Joe's child"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:05, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Delink canyon

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:05, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "The gang turns on her when they see

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:05, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• How does Angharad both get fatally run over by Joe's car and die giving birth to his child?

::{{done}} removed sentence that conflicts Chompy Ace 02:05, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "After Furiosa shoots the Bullet Farmer, Max leaves to confront him and his men,"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:05, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "They drive the War Rig overnight through swampland and desert, coming across a naked woman the next day." {{right arrow}} "After driving the War Rig overnight through swampland and desert, the crew comes across a naked woman the next day."

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:05, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "Max suspects a trap, but Furiosa approaches the woman"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:05, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• That pre-production began in 1997 is mentioned in the lede but nowhere in the body.

::{{done}} reworded Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Development section needs more lead-up: when did the studio start planning for a fourth film? When did Miller lose the rights in the first place?

::{{partly done}} added the earliest source by the book Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• The idea for a fourth installment"

::{{not done}} this article uses Austrailan English Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• All direct quotes need a citation at the end of the sentence ("had to move on to Happy Feet)

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "entered then" {{right arrow}} "then entered"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Citation needed for "different route" and "renaissance" sentence, as direct quotes are used

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• First body instance of Doug Mitchell needs WL

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Clarify that the rains and wildflowers were in Broken Hill

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• WL storyboard artist

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Delink Namibia after first instance

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Mention when the exec was sent

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Remove parentheses

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• New sentence for "They began on 22 November"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• WL production designer

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Comma after "were constructed"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Comma after "to the hull"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Clarify that the guitar is on fire! It's the most interesting part!

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "He replaced Dean Semler ... who left in [date]."

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• The quote about a "western on wheels" belongs more in development or themes than filming

::{{done}} moved to themes section Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• For that matter, the sentence about the (flaming) guitar should be moved to right after the practical effects sentence

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• WL second unit

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• WL stunt coordinator

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "Sixel had 480 hours of footage to edit; watching it took three months." {{right arrow}} "Sixel had 480 hours of footage to edit, which took three months to watch."

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Sentence about cuts per minute is too long -- consider adding the Road Warrior stats as a note.

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Explain the significance of manipulating the frame rate

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• WL sound designer

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Moby-Dick should be italicized

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:11, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• I would start with the Miller quote in the "Survival" subhead, as the director's word has the most authority.

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:14, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Follow that with "critics have noted that"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:14, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "illustrated by Max, who begins the film [description of Max], then rediscovers ..."

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:14, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Which is the underlying goal for Max, survival or humanity?

::{{done}} chose survival Chompy Ace 02:14, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Speaking of, make subhead say survival and humanity, as both are mentioned

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:14, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "that has received academic attention/notice."

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:14, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "with Charlize Theron's role as Furiosa serving as a dramatic center for the film"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:14, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Delink Theron

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:14, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• No need to specify in the second para that Theron's character is Furiosa

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:14, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• The description and characterization of Furiosa could be better-cited

::{{not done}} removed Chompy Ace 02:14, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Would prefer a direct quote from Miller

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:14, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "as it dominates the motivations of several major characters: Max's home was destroyed, Furiosa was taken from hers, and the Five Wives are in search of a new home to raise their children."

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:14, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Other examples of Miller films about family

::{{done}} added Chompy Ace 02:20, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "was released in theatres on 15 May" {{right arrow}} "was theatrically released in the United States the next day"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:32, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• I would like a better citation for the 15 May release, as the one that's currently there is dated to 2013

::{{not done}} Deadline Hollywood is generally reliable per WP:RSP Chompy Ace 02:32, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "with each issue focusing on the backstory"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:32, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• End sentence after "comprises of four issues." Otherwise, it gets too long.

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:32, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Cut the Mad Max: Fury Road after the first instance -- e.g. "the second, Furiosa #1, was released ..."

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:32, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "collection of art inspired by the film, titled [title here], was released on"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:32, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Mention publisher

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:32, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "In January 2016, Miller announced that the black-and-white versions"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:32, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Link "digitally" to digital distribution

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:32, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "a box set containing all four Mad Max films"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:32, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• comma after Mad Max: Black & Chrome

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:32, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Opening critical response sentence saying the film received generally positive reviews

::{{not done}} per consistency with other articles Chompy Ace 02:34, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "awarding the film four out of five stars"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:34, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "Peter Bradshaw wrote that the film is"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:34, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• I'm a bit confused by the transition from the Guardian quote to "that George Miller revived the franchise." Might just be missing an "and"?

::{{done}} removed partial sentence Chompy Ace 02:34, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• The IGN sentence doesn't accurately describe what the review is saying. The actual quote is {{xt|"The over-the-top stunts and eccentric characters and designs are all hugely important to Fury Road, as are the troubled figures like Max himself and Furiosa, but it’s the overriding sense of the film’s uniqueness, its striving to be something more than just another action movie, that is most impressive."}} I.e. the film's uniqueness is not found in the stunts and designs.

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:34, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• WL "feminist critics" to women's studies

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:34, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• comma after "range of atypical female roles"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:34, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "and was named Rotten Tomatoes' best scoring film of 2015." Rotten Tomatoes is a review aggregator, so best-scoring is a reflection of what other people have said about it, less so a separate accolade.

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:34, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• quotation marks around the NYT and Wired list names

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:34, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "ten nominations at the 88th Academy Awards"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:34, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "In 2011, Miller and McCarthy found during the writing process for Fury Road that they had enough story material for two additional scripts." {{right arrow}} "During the writing process for Fury Road in 2011, Miller and McCarthy found that they had enough story material for two additional scripts."

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:35, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "Miller told Wired in May 2015 that if the film becomes successful, he will tell the other two stories."

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:35, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "Later that month, Miller

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:35, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "That October, Miller's team..."

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:35, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Last sentence of the first paragraph is slightly confusing, as the two sequels during the writing process have already been mentioned

::{{fixed}} Chompy Ace 02:36, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "Later that month, Miller clarified"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:35, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Last sentence of the second paragraph is hard to follow.

::{{fixed}} Chompy Ace 02:36, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• "A prequel, titled Furiosa,"

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:35, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Mention that Hemsworth and Abdul-Mateen II are in unspecified roles

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:35, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Delink Junkie XL, already mentioned in the body

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:35, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Looks like all refs have been archived already; good job!

::{{already done}} Chompy Ace 02:38, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• The Variety reference (9) says that Miller got the rights back in 1997, not 1995

::{{not done}} removed Chompy Ace 02:38, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• The New York Post is considered "generally unreliable." Since this comes from a direct conversation with Miller, I'm fine with it.

::{{already done}} Chompy Ace 02:38, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• The Metro source (12) is incomplete. Needs name and author at the very least.

::{{not done}} removed Chompy Ace 02:38, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• The FirstShowing ref (21) outright says that it's a rumor. Would prefer a direct quote.

::{{done}} Chompy Ace 02:38, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Looper isn't my favorite source (54), as it gets a little clickbaity.

::{{done}} removed Chompy Ace 02:38, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

• Article looks stable. One IP reversion within the past month.
• [https://copyvios.toolforge.org/?lang=en&project=wikipedia&title=Mad+Max%3A+Fury+Road&oldid=&action=search&use_engine=1&use_links=1&turnitin=0 Earwig copyvio score] looks good at 25.4%!
• All pictures fall under free use criteria and are relevant to the article
• Looks like many of the issues mentioned in GA1 have been addressed

Great first showing! I'm putting the article {{On hold}} for now until the issues have been addressed, but many of them are minor spelling/grammar mistakes or a request for clarification. The biggest request I have is some restructuring of sentences, as well as more clarification on the early stages of development (that first paragraph might have to be broken into two for visuals' sake). Best of luck on the edits, and feel free to ping me if you have any comments or questions! Kncny11 ^(shoot) 20:35, 6 March 2021 (UTC)

::{{ping|Kncny11}} all issues have addressed. Chompy Ace 02:40, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

:::{{ping|Chompy Ace}} Looks good to go! Thanks for working with me, and for putting so much work into a great article! Kncny11 ^(shoot) 17:04, 10 March 2021 (UTC)