Talk:Mervyn Ingram/GA1

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{{al|{{#titleparts:Mervyn Ingram/GA1|-1}}|noname=yes}}
:This review is transcluded from Talk:Mervyn Ingram/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Djmaschek (talk · contribs) 02:23, 16 February 2022 (UTC)

I am starting the review. I've skimmed the article and it looks like it will need few, if any, corrections. Djmaschek (talk) 02:23, 16 February 2022 (UTC)

For GA reviews, I prefer that the nominator make all edit changes. If you disagree with my recommended edits, please argue your case. I make mistakes too. Djmaschek (talk) 03:35, 16 February 2022 (UTC)

• Early life: "he worked as a clerk for Shell Oil." - Add a link to Shell Oil, assuming it is the same as Shell Oil Company.

:*Done. Zawed (talk) 09:42, 16 February 2022 (UTC)

• Channel front: "including one search and rescue operation, with the squadron before being posted" - I would put the comma after "squadron".

:*I disagree on this one; I think grammatically it is correct since I'm clarifying the nature of one of the sorties flown. That said, TBH I think that the clarification doesn't add much so have opted to remove the mention of the search and rescue operation to render the issue moot. Zawed (talk) 09:42, 16 February 2022 (UTC)

• Channel front: The introduction says No. 486 Squadron formed in March 1942. The date it was formed also needs to be mentioned here.

:*Done. Zawed (talk) 09:42, 16 February 2022 (UTC)

• Service with No. 601 Squadron, paragraph 1: "embarking on 14 April" > "embarking on 14 April 1942". - I don't like to be scrolling up and down to figure out the year. Other readers may have the same problem.

:*Done. Zawed (talk) 09:42, 16 February 2022 (UTC)

• Service with No. 601 Squadron, paragraph 5: "Posted to No. 244 Wing Base Training Pool" - What did he do here? The sentence makes it seem as though he only instructed pilots at No. 1 Middle East Training School.

:*The source doesn't explicitly say; I think it may have been possible that it was a "holding pen" for pilots to wait for a posting but that would be OR. Zawed (talk) 09:42, 16 February 2022 (UTC)

• Service with No. 601 Squadron, paragraph 5: "He only had a brief stay with the unit for after flying on 14 sorties" > "only 14 sorties" - IMO, "only" works better here.

:*Done. Zawed (talk) 09:42, 16 February 2022 (UTC)

• Service with No. 601 Squadron, paragraph 5: "also based in Malta, the next month" - What month? If it was July, please specify.

:*Have specified it was July. Zawed (talk) 09:42, 16 February 2022 (UTC)

• Squadron commander, paragraph 1: "On 10 August" > "On 10 August 1943". - Put year at top of section.

:*Done. Zawed (talk) 09:42, 16 February 2022 (UTC)

• Squadron commander, paragraph 2: "Ingram died on 11 July." > "Ingram died on 11 July 1944." - Year again.

:*Done. Zawed (talk) 09:42, 16 February 2022 (UTC)

• We overuse the word "hero" these days, but this fellow was a real hero.

:*Agreed. It amazes me that he was a squadron leader, in charge of a bunch of fighter pilots, at the age of just 22 (and he won't have been the only one). I was really wet behind the ears when I was that age. Zawed (talk) 09:42, 16 February 2022 (UTC)

GA Criteria.

• Well-written. {{partly done|See above notes.}}
• Verifiable. {{done}}
• Broad in its coverage. {{done}}
• Neutral. {{done}}
• Stable. {{done}}
• Illustrated. {{done}}

{{ping|Djmaschek}} Thanks for the review, it is greatly appreciated. I have responded above with comments and my edits to the article are [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Mervyn_Ingram&type=revision&diff=1072177396&oldid=1071747290 here]. Thanks again. Zawed (talk) 09:42, 16 February 2022 (UTC)

• Good work. I will promote it to GA class presently. Djmaschek (talk) 03:05, 18 February 2022 (UTC)