Talk:Nier Reincarnation/GA1

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| result = Passed. ~ A412 ^talk! 19:35, 10 April 2024 (UTC)

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{{al|{{#titleparts:Nier Reincarnation/GA1|-1}}|noname=yes}}
:This review is transcluded from Talk:Nier Reincarnation/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: {{User|ProtoDrake}} 19:20, 30 March 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: A412 (talk · contribs) 21:40, 31 March 2024 (UTC)

I'll take a look at this. ~ A412 ^talk! 21:40, 31 March 2024 (UTC)

:Sorry for the delay! I'm still looking at this. ~ A412 ^talk! 06:22, 4 April 2024 (UTC)

::Done with non-prose checks. Will get to prose next. ~ A412 ^talk! 19:30, 6 April 2024 (UTC)

As of [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Nier_Reincarnation&oldid=1216397146 this revision].

• General, GA-optional, comment: A couple sources that say "this will happen" are cited for "this happened". It's not a critical issue, but if we could find sources from after the fact, that would be ideal.
• [2] - Checks out, but I don't know about {{tq|official sequel}}, because the source saying that it does {{tq|look more and more like Nier: Reincarnation has quietly been the sequel}} seems to mean that it isn't "officially" a sequel.
• I just dropped this.
• [6] - Source says {{tq|In battles, your characters will automatically attack}}, which seems to contradict the article saying there's a manual option.
• Double-checked, and yeah it seems to be auto-attack. Gaff, now corrected.
• [11] - Checks out.
• [16] - Checks out.
• [21] - Checks out.
• [26] - Checks out.
• [31] - Checks out.
• [37] - Checks out.
• [41] - Checks out.
• [46] - Checks out.
• [51] - Maybe say {{tq|Persona 5 Royal}}?
• Relinked.
• [56] - Checks out.
• [61] - I'm unclear where the chapter (which is identified by name) is identified as the {{tq|third arc's sixth and closing chapter}}.
• Changed to remove the numbering. Not important.
• [66] - Checks out.

• What is getnews.jp ([27])?
• News site. I've dropped it, given question.
• Android Police ([44]) is marked as unreliable by WP:VG/S.
• Removed, and info too since there's no alternate.
• GamerBraves ([46]) is marked as unreliable by WP:VG/S.
• Same as above.

• 16.0% to [https://www.siliconera.com/review-nier-reincarnation/], but I think that is copied without attribution from wiki, [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Nier_Reincarnation&oldid=1040339653].
• I can cut the Sil review if you think it's needed.
• No, to be clear, I think you're good here, there's no copying happening from the Wikipedia end of things.

• Everything is sourced besides the synopsis section, which is generally considered fine.

• Everything expected is present.

• Checks out.

• Checks out.

• Licenses look good, images look relevant.

• First paragraph
• Use Template:Interlanguage link for the jpwiki link.
• {{tq|The game is part of the Nier universe}} - I think it's either {{tq|part of the Nier series}} or {{tq|set in the Nier universe}}. I would also delink universe per MOS:SOB.
• I'm surprised {{tq|gacha}} links to loot box and not gacha game.
• Second paragraph
• {{tq|and contributed to the scenario}} - What does {{tq|the scenario}} mean here?
• {{tq|The title is set to end service worldwide on April 29, 2024}} - This feels like an odd thing to be the only summary of the release section in the lead. I would also mention when it was released, that content was released chapter-by-chapter, and maybe that the international release came later.
• {{tq|Journalists gave mixed to positive reviews; praise was given to its writing, art design and music, while the gacha system was often criticized.}} - Weird mixed tense. I would be consistent and say {{tq|Journalists gave mixed to positive reviews; praising its writing, art design and music, while often criticizing the gacha system.}}

• First paragraph
• {{tq|The player navigates different areas of the Cage in the company of ghost-like companions}} leaves me wondering if there is a player character that the player plays as, or if they play as the companions in the stories.
• Second paragraph
• {{tq|The gameplay is split into three types}} - {{tq|types}} seems like the wrong word. Is {{tq|modes}} more correct? Also, it's unclear to me which things are the three.
• {{tq|During this exploration, they come across Scarecrows which grant and upgrade weapons used to fight enemies within unlocked memories}} - This seems to contradict the first paragraph? How do the scarecrows relate to the memories?
• {{tq|In these memories, dubbed Weapon Stories, players experience the memories of those related to a weapon from a side-scrolling painting-like perspective, entering battles to correct errors in the memories}} - Is this more concise as {{tq|In these memories, dubbed Weapon Stories, players experience the memories of a weapon from a side-scrolling painting-like perspective, and enter battles to correct errors.}}?
• {{tq|Battles play out automatically in real-time inside the memories with a party of three characters against enemies.}} - Can probably remove {{tq|inside the memories}}, the previous sentence makes that clear.
• Third paragraph
• {{tq|At launch, Nier Reincarnation included}} - This makes it sound like the minigame was later removed. If not, {{tq|Nier Reincarnation launched with}}.
• Consider linking side-scroller.
• {{tq|The goal is to avoid obstacles and find coins within the time limit, with items granting buffs and enemies which will decrease the player score if Mama is hit}} - Maybe {{tq|The goal is to collect coins and items that grant buffs within a time limit, while avoiding obstacles and enemies which decrease the player's score}}?
• {{tq|fight an opposing party created by another player}} - {{tq|fight parties created by other players}}?
• Fourth paragraph
• {{tq|While the storyline characters are present in-game from the outset}} - I think {{tq|unlocked}} is clearer than {{tq|are present in-game}}.
• Probably don't need to quote {{tq|"Force"}} the first time.

• The Girl and the Monster
• {{tq|with a similar being called "Mama" guiding him to gain the power needed to reverse the body swap}} - Who is the {{tq|him}} being guided?
• {{tq|perform the swap and confirm their friendship}} - saying they {{tq|reverse the swap}} is probably clearer
• The Sun and the Moon
• {{tq|each recovering fragments of the broken sun and moon}} - does {{tq|each}} refer to the siblings or the ghosts?
• {{tq|Their story reveals them to be siblings separated by their parents' divorce following a turbulent marriage, ultimately showing that each sibling kill the other's parent out of hatred; their wishes to revive their parents come into conflict}} - There's a lot in this sentence, maybe break it before {{tq|ultimately}}
• {{tq|The default ending has one sibling killing the other}} - Are the roles of the siblings fixed, or does the player choose one?
• The People and the World
• First paragraph
• Linking {{tq|humanity's extinction}} to Nier is a bit surprising, I'd suggest {{tq|humanity's extinction in the events of Nier}}, similar for the link to Nier Automata
• Consider linking android (robot)
• Second paragraph
• {{tq|two merged artificial beings overwhelmed with loneliness;}} - I think you want a colon instead of a semicolon
• {{tq|receiving aid from the player}} - Unclear either what this means (hasn't the whole game had the player?), or why it links to fourth wall
• {{tq|As time restarts, reviving friendly Machines and androids, Fio joins Her in the real world to keep her company, with Levania promising to watch over her from the Cage}} - is {{tq|Machines}} a name here, and are {{tq|Her}} and {{tq|her}} different?

{{ping|A412}} I've hopefully sorted out everything above. The plot was a little tricky at times, as it's pretty...complicated. --ProtoDrake (talk) 19:51, 8 April 2024 (UTC)

• First paragraph
• {{tq|Nier Reincarnation was developed by Applibot}} - It might be helpful to include a few words about what Applibot is, as we don't have an article on it.
• Second paragraph
• {{tq|While the game is within}} -> {{tq|While the game is set within}}
• {{tq|by newcomers}} - Newcomers to the game, or newcomers to the series? Probably best to be specific.
• {{tq|The short story structure was built around short stories}} - Maybe {{tq|The narrative structure was built around short stories}}?
• {{tq|also meaning it could end prematurely}} - Does {{tq|it}} refer to Reincarnation or SINoALICE here?
• {{tq|The second arc was written by Yuki Wada based on a draft by Yoko. During early stages, the two leads' middle school days were going to be shown}} - I would combine these so it's clear the sentence is about the second arc. {{tq|The second arc was written by Yuki Wada based on a draft by Yoko, and during its early stages, the two leads' middle school days were going to be shown}}
• Third paragraph
• {{tq|Matsukawa originally wanted static picture book presentation}} -> {{tq|Matsukawa originally wanted a static picture book presentation}}
• What does {{tq|The in-game movie production}} refer to?
• Fourth paragraph
• {{tq|The gameplay was designed to resemble automatic mode in Nier Automata}} - FYI: I don't have a specific change in mind, but I quickly read the Automata gameplay section and it doesn't mention "automatic mode".
• {{tq|were included}} -> {{tq|was included}}
• {{tq|During its later development, the team tweaked the game's design and functions to improve playability and accessibility.}} - This sentence kinda doesn't say anything. If the source isn't more specific, I'd consider dropping it.
• Fifth paragraph
• {{tq|Unity game engine}} is a MOS:SOB, I'd delink game engine.
• {{tq|weapon story sequences}} -> {{tq|Weapon Stories}} to be consistent
• {{tq|Weapon story}} -> {{tq|Weapon Story}} to be consistent
• {{tq|to create a 2D illusion}} - {{tq|to create a 2D appearance}} or {{tq|to resemble 2D}} are probably clearer

• First paragraph
• {{tq|Due to being a mobile game, the music}} - bit of a grammar issue here, the music isn't a mobile game, I'd suggest {{tq|Due to being composed for a mobile game, the music}} or {{tq|Due to Reincarnation being a mobile game, the music}}
• {{tq|game's "nostalgic" atmosphere, gaining an atmosphere compared to fairy tales}} - awkward phrasing. {{tq|game's "nostalgic" atmosphere, which the composers compared to fairy tales}}?
• Second paragraph
• Consider linking string instrument, woodwind instrument, and electronica

• First paragraph
• {{tq|While originally planned for a 2020 release, Square Enix delayed its Japanese debut into the first half of 2021}} - same subject agreement grammar issue. Maybe {{tq|Originally planned for 2020, its release was delayed by Square Enix into the first half of 2021}}
• {{tq|Following the beta period, full voice acting for the story sections was still an unknown, but fan feedback persuaded the team to include full voice acting despite the technical difficulties}} - This feels like it should be in Development
• Second paragraph
• {{tq|The game's UI was designed around that from the start, with a translation challenge being fitting English versions of the dialogue into the text boxes}} probably reads smoother if you move {{tq|translation}} for {{tq|The game's UI was designed around that translation from the start, with a challenge being fitting English versions of the dialogue into the text boxes}}
• Third paragraph
• {{tq|international version}} - Can we choose {{tq|Western}} or {{tq|international}}?
• {{tq|Matsukawa stated the international version, while essentially identical to the Japanese release, would include exclusive collaborations such as a variant of recurring Nier Automata character 2B, and balance adjustments to the gacha system}} - Should this sentence be split, with {{tq|Matsukawa stated the international version would be essentially identical to the Japanese release, with balance adjustments to the gacha system}} in the second paragraph, and just the exclusive collaborations in this one?
• Fourth paragraph
• {{tq|is under consideration}} - could use an {{tq|as of}}
• {{tq|is planned}} - could use an {{tq|as of}}
• Fifth paragraph
• {{tq|would no longer feature an English language dub}} - We use {{tq|voice the game in English}} above. I assume this is referring to the same thing?
• {{tq|there are no plans}} - Probably {{tq|there were no plans}}

• First paragraph
• General: I'd order the Japanese release info first and the international release info second, instead of jumping back and forth.
• {{tq|applications}} - While this word isn't incorrect, because we also use {{tq|app}} to describe the game, it's a bit confusing.
• {{tq|English release}} - Again, we should probably choose one of {{tq|Western}}, {{tq|international}}, or {{tq|English}}.
• Second paragraph
• Could use a summary sentence to lead off like {{tq|Reviewers praised the game's narrative}}
• {{tq|the flavor text given the weapons which expanded upon the narrative}} - {{tq|the expansion of the narrative from the weapons' flavor text}}? Also, from reading the translated source, I'm pretty sure that by "flavor text", this review also just means Weapon Stories.
• {{tq|both the main narrative and its side content}} -> {{tq|both the main narrative and side content}}
• {{tq|its themes of loss}} - Loss seems to be a singular theme?
• Third paragraph
• {{tq|gacha system was not a required mechanic to experience the story}} - {{tq|was not required to experience the story}}?
• Fourth paragraph
• {{tq|Henge found playing the game to be a slog due to its shallow combat system}} - Bit of a MOS:SAID issue here. We don't want to describe the game as shallow in Wikivoice.
• {{tq|and its high energy demand on phone batteries to run}} -> {{tq|high battery usage}} or {{tq|high power requirements}}?
• {{tq|and enjoyed the combat despite a lack of innovative elements}} - same MOS:SAID issue

{{ping|ProtoDrake}} Done now. Sorry for the holdup, got offwiki-busy after accepting this last week. Feel free to push back on any suggestions you don't think improve the article, and ping me for another pass. ~ A412 ^talk! 02:12, 10 April 2024 (UTC)

:{{reply to|A412}} I've done my best to address everything. (Also encouraged me to put some info into Automata's article about the difficulty settings.) --ProtoDrake (talk) 08:55, 10 April 2024 (UTC)

:: Some light copyediting later, I think you're good for {{GA inline}}. ~ A412 ^talk! 19:34, 10 April 2024 (UTC)

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