Talk:Nigel Park/GA1

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:This review is transcluded from Talk:Nigel Park/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 18:41, 31 October 2021 (UTC)

Hi, I'll take this one. Feel free to respond and correct me as necessary!

• No dup links
• Images correctly licensed
• No edit war
• Earwig reports no copyvio

• "He briefly flew with No. 122 Squadron" - not the longest lede so I don't think noting that this service was over the Channel here would be out of place

:*Fair enough, have added. Zawed (talk) 08:32, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

• Link Gisborne

:* Done. Zawed (talk) 08:32, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

• why say Levin instead of RNZAF Station Weraroa?

:*It's just a personal style thing as I don't like using the abbreviation in conjunction with a place name. I have rephrased though. Zawed (talk) 08:36, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

• "soloed" - I think this could do with a little clarification to ensure understanding for people who don't naturally understand the significance of this, and what it means

:*Tweaked a bit and included a link. Zawed (talk) 08:36, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

• "further flight training with the Royal Canadian Air Force" - possible to say what he trained on?

:*Unfortunately no. The sources are a bit skinny on detail which is reflected in the article length. Zawed (talk) 08:36, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

• "He later served with No. 122 Squadron" - is no date available for when he finished training and moved to 122 Squadron (unless of course this was April)?

:*Not an exact date. Zawed (talk) 08:58, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

• "although his own aircraft received some damage to its wing." - this doesn't seem worded correctly. It's not like the damaged stopped him from shooting down the 109, so perhaps "...despite his own aircraft receiving..."

:*Done. Zawed (talk) 08:58, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

• "of enemy fighters" - is specifying the type possible?

:*The raid that his squadron was intercepting actually had three types of escort fighters, and it doesn't say which type engaged Park. Zawed (talk) 08:58, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

• "despite jammed cannons" - wording a bit awkward again to my mind. What about "despite his cannons having jammed..."

:*Done. Zawed (talk) 08:58, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

• Unless my maths is wrong (highly possible), I count here him destroying 9 aircraft plus some shares of others. Do the shares add up for the tenth victory or am I missing something?

:*Ha, you made me doubt my maths! I count ten (which includes the one he shot down the day he died), plus the share on 28 July. Zawed (talk) 08:58, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

• All references look good. Your publisher location style isn't all the same though, e.g. you've got "London, United Kingdom" for one and just "London" for another. Same for Christchurch (minor, I know!).

:*No, that's a good catch. When assembling the references, I often cut and paste from older articles I have worked on. I used to have countries as part of the location but am shifting away from that to just city. I have made them all consistent now.

That's all I have so far, will await your replies. As an aside, have you thought about working on Keith Park? Certainly needs some help! Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 18:41, 31 October 2021 (UTC)

:*{{u|Pickersgill-Cunliffe}}, thanks for taking a look at this, I have responded to your comments. Yes, Keith Park is on my list to do but I keep getting distracted by other projects! Zawed (talk) 09:05, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

:*:Happy to pass this article as satisfying the GA criteria. Good luck with Keith Park...eventually! Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 13:54, 1 November 2021 (UTC)