Talk:Pete Burnside/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 14:00, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
Will be reviewing this article as part of the GAN Backlog Drive of April to May 2020.
- It is reasonably well written.
- :a (prose): {{GAList/check|y}} b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): {{GAList/check|y}}
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- :a (reference section): {{GAList/check|y}} b (citations to reliable sources): {{GAList/check|y}} c (OR): {{GAList/check|y}}
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- It is broad in its coverage.
- :a (major aspects): {{GAList/check|y}} b (focused): {{GAList/check|y}}
- ::
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- :Fair representation without bias: {{GAList/check|y}}
- ::
- It is stable.
- :No edit wars, etc.: {{GAList/check|y}}
- ::
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- :a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): {{GAList/check|y}} b (appropriate use with suitable captions): {{GAList/check|y}}
- ::
- Overall:
- :Pass/Fail: {{GAList/check|y}}
- ::
=General=
- All hyphens are to be replaced by en dashes (–) per MOS:DASH
=Lead=
- "American former professional baseball player" - try to avoid not having a MOS:SEAOFBLUE violation
- "and left-handed pitcher" - same issue as above
- The entire second paragraph might be better divided into two to make more comfortable to read
- Farm Director doesn't need to begin each word with capital letters
- Wikilink bullpen for non-Baseball readers
- Delink Japan per MOS:OVERLINK
=Early life=
- "the couple 'separated a few years into the 1930s." - how about {{xt|separated in the early 1930s'''}}
- "and often rode the Chicago "L" to Wrigley Field, where" - it would help to state what the "Chicago "L" is to those unfamiliar with the term
- "helping the basketball team post a 13-3 record his senior year" - {{xt|record in his senior year}}
- "Chub Feeney, the Giant president," - {{xt|Giants}}
- "was a graduate of Dartmouth and worked out an agreement with Burnside under which Burnside could wait " - try not to repeat Burnside's surname too closely in the same sentence
"until the spring semester was over to begin his seasons," - {{xt|season}}- Should be seasons, actually - his college affected multiple years
- Stratched query MWright96 (talk) 19:16, 5 April 2020 (UTC)
- "thus enabling him to earn his degree." the word "thus" is not needed and the next word enabling can be changed to {{xt|allowing}} if you think it would improve the article
- Wikilink double-major to Double majors in the United States
=Career=
- St. Cloud Rox is a dab link that should be rectified
- "in October of 1953." - should be {{xt|October 1953}} per MOS:DATEFORMAT
- "He was discharged in 1954 and assigned to Minneapolis, then sent to Nashville in a trade between the minor league clubs," - This should be two sentences
- "June 2, he limited the Pirates to two runs in 5 1⁄3 innings of the second game of a doubleheader" - The beginning of the sentence should be {{xt|On June 2,}}
- "A stellar 1955 season in the Class AA Texas League," - please refrain from using non-netural wording such as "stellar" outside of quotations
- "finishing the season on a 1-7 skid." - the word "skid" is informal in this instance
- "he was added to the Giants' first San Francisco roster because the Giants did not wish" - repetition of the term "Giants"
- "While Burnside did not have a great spring in 1958," - {{xt|spring training}}
- "Burnside gave up a game-tying home run to Wes Covington" - how about the more formal word of {{xt|relinquished}} instead?
- "which he'd learned from teammate Marv Grissom in 1958" - please avoid contractions outside of quotations per MOS:CONTRACTION
- "didn't get it," - same issue as above
- Wikilink bullpen for those unfamiliar with baseball
- "He threw a complete game July 9," - {{xt|game on July 9,}}
- "making only one more start the rest of the year" - {{xt|one more start during the}}
- "Ed Doherty, the Senators' GM," - {{xt|Senators' general manager}}
- Delink Japan per MOS:OVERLINK
- "signing a deal with the with the Hanshin Tigers of Nippon Professional Baseball." - repetition of the phrase "with the"
- "Next year he again won five games but lost 14," - {{xt|The next year, he}}
- Wikilink master's degree
=Later life=
- "Burnside got his master's degree from Northwestern University," - {{xt|obtained his}}