Talk:Shuttle-Centaur/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 18:19, 28 October 2020 (UTC)
; Lead
- "To enable its installation a Shuttle's payload bay, the diameter of the Centaur's liquid hydrogen tank was increased" - No matter how many times I read this, it just doesn't seem right. Not sure if it's a grammar error or a comprehension error on my end.
- :{{tick}} Deleted this sentence. Don't think it needs to be in the lead. (Personally, I don't look at the lead much, and rarely pay much attention to it.)
- Probably a touch on the short side for the lead. None of the congressional stuff that is mentioned quite a bit in the article never appears in the lead, for instance.
; Centaur
- "which were coming under intense scrutiny by increasing cost-conscious Congress" - Should this be increasingly?
- :{{tick}} Yes. Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:32, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
; Space Shuttle upper stages
- "A series of study contracts wet let, resulting in a decision that the IUS would be an expendable solid-fuel upper stage" - Wet?
- :{{tick}} Should have been "were". Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:32, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
; Deep space probes
- "On 6 February 1981 Strom Thurmond, the President pro tempore of the Senate, write directly to David Stockman" - You'll want the past tense of write
- :{{tick}} Typo. Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:32, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
; Congressional approval
- "and reduce the number of Moons visited by half when it got there" - Not convinced that Moons should be capitalized
- :{{tick}} De-capped. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:32, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
; Design
- "On 30 August 1982 A meeting of representatives of the NASA centers" - Lowercase A, and comma after 1982
- :{{tick}} De-capped. Comma added. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:32, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
- The payload length given in the prose for Centaur G Prime varies from that given in the infobox
- :{{tick}} Fixed this. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:32, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
; Infobox
- Not seeing where the gross and empty masses are cited anywhere
- :{{tick}} Added. In practice, things were more complicated. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:32, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
; Management
- "He was an Associate administrator at NASA Headquarters" - I'm pretty sure either Associate should be lowercase or administrator should be capitalized
- :{{tick}} De-capped. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:32, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
- "in 1985. this permitted an increase in staff for the first time in 20" - Start the sentence off with a capital letter
- :{{tick}} De-capped. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:32, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
- Is it Marty Winkler or Marty Winkkler? Page 189 of [https://history.nasa.gov/SP-4230.pdf this PDF] suggests Winkler. You use Winkkler.
- :{{tick}} Typo. Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:32, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
; Preparations
- "The theme music from Star War was played, a crowd of 300" - I do believe it's Star Wars
- :{{tick}} Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:32, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
- "SC-1 as then flown to the Kennedy Space Center, where it was mated with CISS-1, which had arrived two months before." - Was, not as?
- :{{tick}} Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:32, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
That's it, I think. Mostly just copy editing stuff. Placing on hold. Hog Farm Bacon 01:08, 30 October 2020 (UTC)