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Talk:Victorian Age: Vampire/GA1

GA Review

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:This review is transcluded from Talk:Victorian Age: Vampire/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: The Most Comfortable Chair (talk · contribs) 05:49, 14 October 2020 (UTC)

Hello. I will have the review shortly. Thank you. — The Most Comfortable Chair 05:49, 14 October 2020 (UTC)

=Lead=

  • Text only character size of the article is "7631", as of this edit. — The lead should be condensed into two paragraphs per MOS:LEADLENGTH.
  • Very well.--AlexandraIDV 23:27, 19 October 2020 (UTC)

=Overview=

  • "The Victorian Age: Vampire rulebook does not contain complete rules, and as such the game requires another rulebook from the series, such as Vampire: The Masquerade Revised Edition or Dark Ages: Vampire, to be played." — "to be played" hangs out a little awkwardly at the end. Consider removing it or writing it earlier, such as → "The Victorian Age: Vampire rulebook does not contain complete rules, and as such the game requires another rulebook from the series to be played, such as Vampire: The Masquerade Revised Edition or Dark Ages: Vampire."
  • Cheers, this subtle change does make a big difference.--AlexandraIDV 23:27, 19 October 2020 (UTC)
  • "While the series until then had largely been written from an American perspective," → "While the series had largely been written from an American perspective until then," — Reads a bit more smoothly.
  • Done.--AlexandraIDV 23:27, 19 October 2020 (UTC)
  • "form of 2003's Kindred of the Ebony Kingdom." → "form of Kindred of the Ebony Kingdom in 2003." — To make it sound more formal.
  • Done.--AlexandraIDV 23:27, 19 October 2020 (UTC)
  • "social reform" — If there are any particular issues it focuses on, mention that instead.
  • The source only says "social reform - both violent and diplomatic". I have incorporated this bit, but it doesn't mention specific issues.--AlexandraIDV 23:27, 19 October 2020 (UTC)
  • "supported it with two supplements." — Could their contents be mentioned briefly?
  • They are mentioned in the table just below this paragraph - I feel it would be a little much to have it repeated that soon.--AlexandraIDV 23:27, 19 October 2020 (UTC)

=Related media=

  • "A trilogy of novelizations was written by Philippe Boulle, consisting of 2002's A Morbid Initiation and 2003's The Madness of Priests and The Wounded King." → "A trilogy of novelizations was written by Philippe Boulle, consisting of A Morbid Initiation (2002), The Madness of Priests and The Wounded King (2003)." or "A trilogy of novelizations was written by Philippe Boulle, consisting of A Morbid Initiation in 2002, and The Madness of Priests and The Wounded King in 2003."
  • Done.--AlexandraIDV 23:27, 19 October 2020 (UTC)

That should be all for now. It is compact and written well, and it should pass. Thank you. — The Most Comfortable Chair 18:38, 19 October 2020 (UTC)

:{{ping|The Most Comfortable Chair}} Thank you for the review! I have implemented your suggestions, with one exception, which I left a comment for above.--AlexandraIDV 23:29, 19 October 2020 (UTC)

=Final=

:GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

  1. It is reasonably well written.
  2. :a (prose, spelling, and grammar): {{GAList/check|yes}} b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): {{GAList/check|yes}}
  3. ::
  4. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
  5. :a (reference section): {{GAList/check|yes}} b (citations to reliable sources): {{GAList/check|yes}} c (OR): {{GAList/check|yes}} d (copyvio and plagiarism): {{GAList/check|yes}}
  6. ::
  7. It is broad in its coverage.
  8. :a (major aspects): {{GAList/check|yes}} b (focused): {{GAList/check|yes}}
  9. ::
  10. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
  11. :Fair representation without bias: {{GAList/check|yes}}
  12. ::
  13. It is stable.
  14. :No edit wars, etc.: {{GAList/check|yes}}
  15. ::
  16. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
  17. :a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): {{GAList/check|yes}} b (appropriate use with suitable captions): {{GAList/check|yes}}
  18. ::
  19. Overall:
  20. :Pass/Fail: {{GAList/check|yes}}
  21. :: The article is concise and flows really well. It is as interesting as the game, and meets the criteria. Thank you for all everyone's efforts! — The Most Comfortable Chair 03:30, 20 October 2020 (UTC)