Unconditionally Guaranteed
{{Use mdy dates|date=June 2025}}
{{Infobox album
| name = Unconditionally Guaranteed
| type = studio
| artist = Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band
| cover = Unconditionally Guaranteed cover.jpg
| alt =
| released = April 1974
| recorded = 1974
| studio = Hollywood Sound
| genre =
| length = 31:14
| label = Mercury (US), Virgin (UK)
| producer = Andy DiMartino
| prev_title = Clear Spot
| prev_year = 1972
| next_title = Bluejeans & Moonbeams
| next_year = 1974
}}
{{Music ratings
| rev1 = AllMusic
| rev1Score = {{Rating|2|5}}{{cite web |url= http://www.allmusic.com/album/r3298 |title=Unconditionally Guaranteed - Captain Beefheart & the Magic Band |first=S. |last=Mason |work=AllMusic.com |year=2011 |access-date=22 July 2011}}
|rev2 = Christgau's Record Guide
|rev2Score = B−{{cite book|last=Christgau|first=Robert|author-link=Robert Christgau|year=1981|title=Christgau's Record Guide: Rock Albums of the Seventies|publisher=Ticknor & Fields|isbn=089919026X|chapter=Consumer Guide '70s: C|chapter-url=https://www.robertchristgau.com/get_chap.php?k=C&bk=70|access-date=February 23, 2019|via=robertchristgau.com}}
| rev3 = The Rolling Stone Album Guide
| rev3Score = {{Rating|2.5|5}}{{cite book |title=The Rolling Stone Album Guide |first=Anthony |last=DeCurtis |year=1992 |location=New York |publisher=Random House |isbn=0-679-73729-4}}
| rev4 = Sounds
}}
Unconditionally Guaranteed is the eighth LP by Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band, released in 1974. It was recorded at Hollywood Sound, Los Angeles.
Upon release it was criticised for being too commercial; even so, it failed to give Beefheart any real chart success, peaking at No. 192 on the Billboard Top 200.
Aftermath
Immediately after recording of the album the entire Magic Band quit – as biographer Mike Barnes has stated, "[Beefheart] was in effect sacked by his own group."{{cite book |last=Barnes |first=Mike |title=Captain Beefheart |location=London |publisher=Quartet Books |year=2000 |isbn=0-7043-8073-0}} They had become increasingly disenchanted with the lack of financial success, having subsisted on food stamps and donations from their parents, and with Beefheart's tyrannical control over the group. In the words of guitarist Bill Harkleroad "we had had enough of him treating us like punching bags."{{cite book |first=Bill |last=Harkelroad |title=Lunar Notes |year=1998 |location=Wembley, Middx |publisher=SAF Publications |isbn=0-946719-21-7}}
The album's lackluster and unchallenging music was the last straw. Drummer Art Tripp recalled, "When the band finally got our album copies, we were horrified. As we listened, it was as though each song was worse than the one which preceded it."{{cite web |url= http://www.beefheart.com/art-tripp-is-ed-marimba-is-ted-cactus/ |title=Art Tripp is Ed Marimba is Ted Cactus |first=Steve |last=Froy |work=Captain Beefheart Radar Station |year=2006 |access-date=October 31, 2015}}
After his contract with Mercury Records ended at the end of 1974, Beefheart disowned the record along with its successor Bluejeans & Moonbeams. He urged his fans to "take copies back for a refund" and called the albums "horrible and vulgar".{{cite web |url= http://www.beefheart.com/zappa-and-the-captain-cook-by-steve-weitzman/ |title=Zappa and the Captain Cook |first=Steve |last=Weitzman |work=Captain Beefheart Radar Station |year=1975 |access-date=October 31, 2015}}
Track listing
{{Track listing
| headline = Side A
| all_writing = Don and Jan Van Vliet and Andy DiMartino
| title1 = Upon the My-O-My
| length1 = 2:43
| title2 = Sugar Bowl
| length2 = 2:13
| title3 = New Electric Ride
| length3 = 3:02
| title4 = Magic Be
| length4 = 2:55
| title5 = Happy Love Song
| length5 = 3:54
}}
{{Track listing
| headline = Side B
| title6 = Full Moon, Hot Sun
| length6 = 2:19
| title7 = I Got Love on My Mind
| length7 = 3:08
| title8 = This Is the Day
| length8 = 4:51
| title9 = Lazy Music
| length9 = 2:49
| title10 = Peaches
| length10 = 3:20
}}
Personnel
- Captain Beefheart (Don Van Vliet) – vocals, harmonica
- Alex St. Clair – guitar
- Zoot Horn Rollo (Bill Harkleroad) – guitar, glass finger guitar
- Rockette Morton (Mark Boston) – bass
- Art Tripp – drums, percussion
;Additional personnel
- Mark Marcellino – keyboards
- Andy DiMartino – acoustic guitar
- Del Simmons – tenor saxophone, flute