Talk:Excuse Me Mr./GA2

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{{al|{{#titleparts:Excuse Me Mr./GA2|-1}}|noname=yes}}
:This review is transcluded from Talk:Excuse Me Mr./GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 07:22, 30 May 2020 (UTC)

{{GAProgress | prose =y | mos =y | reflayout =y | reliablesources =y | originalresearch =y | copyvio =y | broadness =y | focus =y | neutral =y | stable =y | freeortaggedpics =y | picsrelevant =y }}

Will start on this today, most likely. --Kyle Peake (talk) 07:22, 30 May 2020 (UTC)

• August 21, 1996 should be 21 August 1996 since this is an English article

:Yes, but this article is written in :American English in which MMMM DD, YYYY is officially used per WP:MOS

::That is true, but I would recommend changing it to English instead since that is the bands' nationality --Kyle Peake (talk) 04:39, 3 June 2020 (UTC)

:::{{u|Kyle Peake}} – No Doubt is an American band, not an English one. Carbrera (talk) 18:40, 3 June 2020 (UTC).

::::{{u|Carbrera}} Sorry I must have misread something; all date formats etc should be American English. --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:47, 3 June 2020 (UTC)

• Bullet points are supposed to be used instead of hlists

:Adjusted.

• Link the music video on YouTube in the infobox

:Is this required instead of under "External links"?

::Yes --Kyle Peake (talk) 04:39, 3 June 2020 (UTC)

• Identify them as "American rock band" in the lead's first sentence

:I think it would be incorrect to label the band as "rock" as there is much discussion regarding why type of band No Doubt is. Others have called No Doubt a "ska band" and an "alternative" one. Because of this, I think just to leave it as is would be best.

• "It was written by" → "The song was written by"

:Adjusted.

• "and produced by" → "while produced by"

:Adjusted.

• "The song was released as the fourth single from Tragic Kingdom" → "It was released on CD as the fourth single from the album"

:Not adjusted; I discuss this in detail below

• "on August 21, 1996" → "on 21 August 1996"

:Not adjusted per date comment above.

• ""Excuse Me Mr." has also been included on their" → "The song has also been included on the band's"

:Adjusted.

• "Musically, "Excuse Me Mr." is a rock-influenced ska song" → "Musically, the former is a rock-influenced ska track" as rock wikilink should be in the first sentence instead

:Adjusted.

• "also created but never released" → "also created, but never released"

:Adjusted.

• "was selected as one of the best tracks on Tragic Kingdom, with critics labelling it as a successful breakup song." → "received positive reviews from music critics and was often selected by them as one of the best tracks on Tragic Kingdom, with critics labelling it as a successful breakup track." as a proper overview of the reception is needed

:Adjusted; I reworded this differently so "critics" would not be used in the same sentence twice too.

• Remove wikilink to Record chart

:Adjusted.

• "and Canada and peaking at" → "and Canada, and peaking at"

:Adjusted.

• Name the chart of New Zealand in the lead

:Adjusted.

• "directed the music video for “Excuse Me Mr.” during" → "directed the accompanying music video in"

:Adjusted.

• "It features two different storylines: the first shows" → "The visual features two different storylines, with the first showing"

:Adjusted.

• "crowded with paparazzi while the second" → "crowded with paparazzi, while the second storyline"

:Adjusted.

• "No Doubt has performed "Excuse Me Mr." at" → "No Doubt have performed the song for"

:Adjusted.

• "while serving as the guest musical act on Saturday Night Live" → "on Saturday Night Live while serving as the guest musical act" since otherwise it sounds like they were guests on the latter tour

:Adjusted.

• "and at their" → "and at the band's"

:Adjusted.

• "while their producer" → "while the song's producer"

:Adjusted.

• "and produced by" → "while produced by"

:Adjusted.

• Remove wikilinks to No Doubt and Tragic Kingdom

:Adjusted.

• Reword the second sentence to mentioning the exact release date of the album, and what position the track was released from on it; something like this.

:Adjusted.

• "which was the group's first record" → "which was the band's first record"

:Adjusted.

• "the band members" → "the members of No Doubt"

:Adjusted.

• "that helped popularize No Doubt" → "that helped popularize the band"

:Adjusted.

• "stated that this allowed" → "stated that it allowed"

:Adjusted.

• "but the band members" → "but the members"

:Adjusted.

• "with their then-producer, Wilder, who wanted the group" → "with their then-producer Wilder, who wanted the band"

:Adjusted.

• Wikilink liner notes to itself

:Adjusted.

• "No Doubt told" → "The band told"

:Adjusted.

• "the album's eventual second single" → "the latter's eventual second single"

:Adjusted.

• "The song was first released on August 21, 1996" → "The song was first released as a CD single on 21 August 1996"

:I think this would be a misleading statement as the CD singles were strictly promotional.

::Mention it as being promotional at this point, then. --Kyle Peake (talk) 04:39, 3 June 2020 (UTC)

• Remove the following sentence's wikilink to CD single

:My comment directly above refers to this suggestion as well.

• Target promotional CD singles to Promotional recording

:Adjusted.

• "in that country" → "across that country"

:Adjusted.

• "promotional CD single was also made using the same cover art from" → "promo CD single was also made using the same cover art as"

:Adjusted; although I do not think abbreviating "promotional" is necessary. The CD release itself uses the world "promotional", not "promo", too.

• "No Doubt's "Sunday Morning" release" → "No Doubt's "Sunday Morning" (1997)"

:Adjusted.

• "The A.V. Club{{'}} Partridge described the single as a rock-influenced track" → "Partridge described the track as a rock-influenced song"

:Adjusted

• "that helped form No Doubt" → "which helped form the band"

:Adjusted

• "and then used "Excuse Me Mr." as an example" → "and cited "Excuse Me Mr." as an example"

:Adjusted

• "album review of Tragic Kingdom that "Excuse Me Mr." is" → "review of the album that the track is"

:Adjusted

• Remove target to Tempo on beats per minute

:Removed

• "The key of the song is in F major with Stefani's" → "The key of the song is set in F major, with Gwen Stefani's"

:Adjusted

• "each of the song's two verses" → "each of the two verses"

:Adjusted

• "The song's message is the opposite of" → "The message is the opposite of that conveyed within"

:Adjusted

• "Stefani sings with an anxious tone" → "Stefani sings in an anxious tone"

:Adjusted

• Wikilink Circus music to itself

:Adjusted

• "suggest that they are" → "suggest No Doubt are"

:Adjusted

• Remove target to Bridge (music) on middle eight

:Adjusted

• ": "It's almost" → ", "It's almost"

:Adjusted

• Wikilink Noisey to itself as we do that for sub-section redirects

:There is no article for Noisey though.

::See Wikipedia:Redirect#Self-redirects and I have made this minor fix for you

• "whereas Browne from Entertainment Weekly" → "while Browne from"

:Adjusted

• "that the subject of the song's matter" → "that the subject matter of the song"

:Adjusted

• "Several critics described "Excuse Me Mr." as one of the highlights on Tragic Kingdom." → ""Excuse Me Mr." was met with positive reviews from music critics, with several describing it as one of the highlights on Tragic Kingdom."

:Adjusted

• Remove wikilink on The A.V. Club

:Adjusted

• "reanalyzed Tragic Kingdom" → "reanalyzed it"

:Adjusted

• "noted that all three of them" → "noted that all three of the songs"

:Adjusted

• "as a banger that" → "as a "banger" that"

:Adjusted

• "over twenty years ago; she also selected it" → "over 20 years ago; she also selected the track"

:Adjusted

• "With a similar opinion," → "Expressing a similar opinion,"

:Adjusted

• Target Observer to The New York Observer

:Adjusted

• "called the single" → "called it"

:Adjusted

• "she also classified it as" → "she also classified the track as"

:Adjusted

• "MTV News's Diblasi was impressed by" → "Diblasi was impressed by"

:Adjusted

• "on the parent album" → "on the album" since we already know what album you are referencing

:Adjusted

• "due to its ability" → "because of its ability"

:Adjusted

• "In the United States" → "In the US"

:Adjusted

• "but it did reach the" → "though did reach the"

:Adjusted

• "where it debuted at" → "with the track debuting at"

:Adjusted

• "27; similarly, it became" → "27. Similarly, it became" since the sentence currently needs splitting

:Adjusted

• "During its ninth week within the rankings, it reached" → "During its 9th week within the rankings, the track reached" as MOS:NUM suggests using the same numbering for comparative values like this to 12

:Adjusted

• "on March 31, 1997" → "on 31 March 1997"

:We discussed this above.

• "in United States and Canada" → "in the United States and Canada"

:Adjusted

• "On May 25, 1997," → "On 25 May 1997,"

:We also discussed this above.

• Name the New Zealand chart properly with the appropriate wikilink/target

:Adjusted

• "Four weeks later it reached its peak at number 11, becoming the fourth top 40" → "The track ultimately peaked at number 11, becoming the 4th top 40"

:Adjusted

• "from the parent album" → "from the album"

:Adjusted

• Mention the release date in the first sentence

:Added

• "It serves as the fourth" → "It served as the fourth"

:Adjusted

• "Filming for the video was" → "Filming for the visual had been" to avoid repetitive wording

:Adjusted

• "The video opens with No Doubt" → "The video opens with the band"

:Adjusted

• "other members of the band, Stefani" → "other members, Stefani"

:Adjusted

• "resorting to pushing the other members" → "with her resorting to pushing them"

:Adjusted

• "dance provocatively as the camera" → "dance provocatively, as the camera"

:Adjusted

• "Before the song's second verse" → "Before the song's second verse begins"

:Adjusted

• "the hopes that nearby" → "the hopes that nearby people" to specify they are all nearby

:Adjusted

• "fail to do so, so Stefani" → "fail to do so and Stefani"

:Adjusted

• "as a group of paparazzi" → "while a group of paparazzi"

:Adjusted

• "in front of the photographers" → "in front of the paparazzi"

:Adjusted

• "The video was selected for" → "The clip was selected for"

:Adjusted

• "within the top ten on the" → "within the top 10 on the"

:Adjusted

• "on No Doubt's compilation" → "on No Doubt's compilation DVD"

:Adjusted

• Target CD to Compact disc on the first mention in this section since all of other mentions of "CD" have been appropriate for different targets

:Adjusted

• "as the second song of" → "as the second song on"

:Adjusted

• "at the July 1, 1997 show" → "at their 1 July 1997 show"

:Not adjusted.

• "released in No Doubt's first live album" → "released on the band's first live album"

:Adjusted

• "On the December 7, 1996" → "On the 7 December 1996"

:Not adjusted.

• Change Saturday Night Live to Saturday Night Live (SNL) with the same target, though

:I don't think its necessary to group its colloquial name in with this. I don't refer back to the show again.

• "their appearance, they performed both their previous single" → "their appearances, they both performed their previous single,"

:Adjusted

• "and "Excuse Me Mr."." → "and "Excuse Me Mr.", respectively."

:Adjusted

• "The song was performed during" → "The song was performed for"

:Adjusted

• "A majority of the songs" → "A majority of the tracks"

:Adjusted

• "but when No Doubt returned with songs" → "but when the band returned with tracks"

:Adjusted

• "like "Excuse Me Mr." and "Happy Now?"," → "like the song and "Happy Now?","

:Adjusted

• Wikilink Greg Kot to himself

:Adjusted

• "the performance and Kot compared" → "the performance, and Kot compared"

:Adjusted

• "For the 2002" → "For No Doubt's 2002"

:Adjusted

• ""Excuse Me Mr." was performed during" → "the song was performed during"

:Adjusted

• "in between singing" → "in between singing"

:What did you want me to change here?

::Sorry, this was a typo on my part but I found the missing word and added it --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:58, 11 June 2020 (UTC)

• "Their performance of" → "The band's performance of"

:Adjusted

• "at the November 22–23 and 29, 2002" → "for the 22–23 and 29 November 2002"

:Not adjusted per above.

• "on the group's second live album" → "on their second live album"

:Adjusted

• "their first official shows since 2004" → "their first official show since 2004"

:Adjusted

• Remove wikilink on Rolling Stone

:Adjusted

• Merge the third para with the second one

:Adjusted

• "during the first day" → "during the beginning day"

:Adjusted – I added the information between "During" and "English Beat" to this paragraph.

• Retitle to Track listings

:Adjusted

• Sure these shouldn't be laid out in the same manner as "Amar pelos dois", for example?

:In my experience, I've seen both examples. Typically I see the example you provided where there are more releases than just a few. GA articles like Just a Girl and Spiderwebs use what you stated, whereas others like Make Me Like You and Bitch I'm Madonna use the current one I have displayed. Carbrera (talk) 19:05, 3 June 2020 (UTC)

• Please see [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:WikiProject_Albums/Album_article_style_advice#Personnel|1] and re-write everything accordingly.

:Adjusted

• Use {{tlx|spaced ndash}} so there is the right space between credits and personnel.

:Adjusted

• Good

• Check that all of these have been archived using the tool

:Done

• Use English date formatting for all the refs

:Done in American English

• [https://tools.wmflabs.org/copyvios/?lang=en&project=wikipedia&oldid=&action=search&use_engine=1&use_links=1&turnitin=1&title=Excuse_Me_Mr. Copyvio score] looks really good at 18.0%!

:Sounds good.

• Wikilink The A.V. Club to itself on ref 3

:Adjusted

• Target Complex to Complex Networks (company) on ref 4

:Adjusted

• Target Interscope to Interscope Records on ref 5

:Adjusted

• Remove "on Amazon Music" from ref 6's title and target Amazon.com to Amazon (company)

:Adjusted

• Target Trauma to Trauma Records on ref 8

:Adjusted

• Wikilink Noisey to itself on ref 14

:I mention something about this above in a previous section.

• Target Billboard to Billboard (magazine) on ref 15

:Adjusted

• Remove wikilink to The A.V. Club on ref 18 per WP:OVERLINK

:Adjusted

• Target Observer to The New York Observer on ref 19

:Adjusted

• Cite RPM as work/website instead on ref 21, with the wikilink to RPM (magazine) and delete the Library and Archives Canada publisher

:Adjusted

• Remove wikilink on RPM for ref 22, plus delete the publisher

:This one is automatically generated through :Template:Single chart

::Oh, my bad --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:58, 11 June 2020 (UTC)

• Remove wikilink on Billboard for ref 25, plus delete the publisher

:Adjusted

• Ditto for the publisher on refs 27 and 28

:Adjusted

• Cite AllMusic as publisher instead on ref 31 with the wikilink

:Adjusted

• Change ref 33 to citing NBC as the publisher, while remove Saturday Night Live parameter

:Adjusted

• Change AllMusic to publisher on ref 35

:Adjusted

• Remove YouTube from this section

:Removed

• {{onhold}} for a week until the issues arisen are fixed. --Kyle Peake (talk) 10:00, 30 May 2020 (UTC)

::{{u|Kyle Peake}} – could I have an extra day or two to address this review? I've been a bit busy in my personal life and it would sure be appreciated. Carbrera (talk) 16:55, 6 June 2020 (UTC).

:::{{u|Carbrera}} Yeah I am willing to allow it not 100% responded if things have obstructed you. --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:23, 7 June 2020 (UTC)

::::{{u|Kyle Peake}} – Thanks for your cooperation. I have recently conpleted addressing your comments and I have left numerous responses for you above. Let me know if there is anything else I can do, Carbrera (talk) 03:42, 11 June 2020 (UTC).

:Did some copyediting towards the end but will now give this a {{Pass}}! --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:58, 11 June 2020 (UTC)