limerence

Dorothy Tennov's concept represents an attempt at studying the scientific nature of romantic love.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=x-xi}} She identified a suite of psychological traits associated with being in love, which she called limerence.{{cite journal |last1=Fisher |first1=Helen |date=March 1998 |title=Lust, attraction, and attachment in mammalian reproduction |url=https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12110-998-1010-5 |url-status=live |journal=Human Nature |volume=9 |issue=1 |pages=23–52 |doi=10.1007/s12110-998-1010-5 |pmid=26197356 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20240218185335/https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12110-998-1010-5 |archive-date=18 February 2024 |access-date=18 February 2024|url-access=subscription }}{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=16,23–24}} Other authors have also considered limerence to be an emotional and motivational state for focusing attention on a preferred mating partner{{cite journal |last1=Fisher |first1=Helen |last2=Aron |first2=Arthur |last3=Mashek |first3=Debra |last4=Li |first4=Haifang |last5=Brown |first5=Lucy |date=October 2002 |title=Defining the Brain Systems of Lust, Romantic Attraction, and Attachment |url=https://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1019888024255 |url-status=live |journal=Archives of Sexual Behavior |volume=31 |issue=5 |pages=413–419 |doi=10.1023/A:1019888024255 |pmid=12238608 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20240218185715/https://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1019888024255 |archive-date=18 February 2024 |access-date=18 February 2024|url-access=subscription }}: "In humans, the attraction system (standardly called romantic love, obsessive love, passionate love, being in love, infatuation, or limerence) is also characterized by feelings of exhilaration, 'intrusive thinking' about the love object, and a craving for emotional union with this partner or potential partner. [...] [A] list of 13 psychophysiological properties often associated with this excitatory state was compiled (see Fisher, 1998; Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986; Harris, 1995; Tennov, 1979). [...] Then 72-item questionnaire was compiled, based on these common properties [...]. [...] So this questionnaire was subsequently administered (along with several others) to all participants prior to their participation in Phase II of this study which involved fMRI of the brains of individuals who reported that they had 'just fallen madly in love.'" or an attachment process.{{cite journal | url=https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1987-21950-001 | journal=Journal of Personality and Social Psychology | last1=Hazan | first1=Cindy | last2=Shaver | first2=Phillip | date=April 1987 | title=Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process | volume=52 | issue=3 | pages=511–524 | doi=10.1037/0022-3514.52.3.511 | pmid=3572722 | access-date=23 March 2024 | archive-date=18 April 2024 | archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20240418091229/https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1987-21950-001 | url-status=live | url-access=subscription }}{{cite journal |last1=Feeney |first1=Judith |last2=Noller |first2=Patricia |date=1990 |title=Attachment style as a predictor of adult romantic relationships |url=https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1990-14609-001 |url-status=live |journal=Journal of Personality and Social Psychology |volume=58 |issue=2 |pages=281–291 |doi=10.1037/0022-3514.58.2.281 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20240323151721/https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1990-14609-001 |archive-date=23 March 2024 |access-date=23 March 2024|url-access=subscription }}

Joe Beam calls limerence the feeling of being madly in love.{{Cite news |last=Domingo |first=Katrina |date=23 June 2021 |title=Fairytale or pilit-tale? Experts spill why men rush into marriage after long-term relationships |url=https://news.abs-cbn.com/life/06/23/21/fairytale-or-pilit-tale-experts-spill-why-men-rush-to-marriage-after-long-term-relationships |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20240924025210/https://news.abs-cbn.com/life/06/23/21/fairytale-or-pilit-tale-experts-spill-why-men-rush-to-marriage-after-long-term-relationships |archive-date=24 September 2024 |access-date=23 September 2024 |work=ABS-CBN}} Nicky Hayes describes it as "a kind of infatuated, all-absorbing passion", the type of love Dante felt towards Beatrice or that of Romeo and Juliet.{{Citation |last1 = Hayes |first1 = Nicky |title = Foundations of Psychology |publisher = Thomson Learning |place = London |edition = 3rd |year = 2000 |isbn = 1861525893 | pages=457–458}} It is this unfulfilled, intense longing for the other person which defines limerence, where the individual becomes "more or less obsessed by that person and spends much of their time fantasising about them". Hayes suggests that "it is the unobtainable nature of the goal which makes the feeling so powerful", and occasional, intermittent reinforcement may be required to support the underlying feelings. Frank Tallis calls limerence "love that does not need liking - love that may even thrive in response to rejection or contempt" and notes the "striking similarities" with addiction.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=93}}

A central feature of limerence for Tennov was the fact that her participants really saw the object of their affection's personal flaws, but simply overlooked them or found them attractive.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=24,29–33}}{{harvnb|Fisher|2016|p=21}} Tennov calls this "crystallization", after a description by the French writer Stendhal. This "crystallized" version of a love object, with accentuated features, is what Tennov calls a "limerent object", or "LO".{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=29–33}}

Limerence has psychological properties akin to passionate love,{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=116,172,56,282}}{{harvnb|Hatfield|1988|pp=193–194,197}} but in Tennov's conception, limerence begins outside of a relationship and before the person experiencing it knows for certain whether it's reciprocated.{{harvnb|Tennov|1998|pp=78–79}} Tennov observes that limerence is therefore frequently unrequited{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=133}} and argues that some type of situational uncertainty is required for the intense mental preoccupation to occur.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=44,54–57}} Uncertainty could be, for example, barriers to the fulfillment of a relationship such as physical or emotional distance from the LO,{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=56–57,11–13,82–87}} or uncertainty about how the LO reciprocates the feeling.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=56,91–104}} Some people may also fear intimacy so that they distance themselves and avoid a real connection.

Not everyone experiences limerence.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=13–15}} Tennov estimates that 50% of women and 35% of men experience limerence based on answers to certain survey questions she administered.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=209–210,212}} A 2025 study found that 29.42% of currently in love people were categorized as intense romantic lovers, and 28.57% of that group fell in love before their relationship.{{Cite journal |last1=Bode |first1=Adam |last2=Kavanagh |first2=Phillip S. |date=2025-06-01 |title=Variation exists in the expression of romantic love: A cluster analytic study of young adults experiencing romantic love |url=https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886925000704 |journal=Personality and Individual Differences |volume=239 |pages=113108 |doi=10.1016/j.paid.2025.113108 |issn=0191-8869}}

Limerence can be difficult to understand for those who have never experienced it, and it is thus often derided and dismissed as undesirable, some kind of pathology, ridiculous fantasy or a construct of romantic fiction.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=x,14,110–118,166–185}} According to Tennov, limerence is not a mental illness, although it can be "highly disruptive and extremely painful", "irrational, silly, embarrassing, and abnormal" or sometimes "the greatest happiness" depending on who is asked.{{harvnb|Tennov|2005|pages=14,20}}

The original components of limerence, from Love and Limerence, were:{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=23–24}}

• intrusive thinking about the object of your passionate desire (the limerent object or "LO"), who is a possible sexual partner
• acute longing for reciprocation
• dependency of mood on LO's actions or, more accurately, your interpretation of LO's actions with respect to the probability of reciprocation
• inability to react limerently to more than one person at a time (exceptions occur only when limerence is at low ebb—early on or in the last fading)
• some fleeting and transient relief from unrequited limerent passion through vivid imagination of action by LO that means reciprocation
• fear of rejection and sometimes incapacitating but always unsettling shyness in LO's presence, especially in the beginning and whenever uncertainty strikes
• intensification through adversity (at least, up to a point)
• acute sensitivity to any act or thought or condition that can be interpreted favorably, and an extraordinary ability to devise or invent "reasonable" explanations for why the neutrality that the disinterested observer might see is in fact a sign of hidden passion in the LO
• an aching of the "heart" (a region in the center front of the chest) when uncertainty is strong
• buoyancy (a feeling of walking on air) when reciprocation seems evident
• a general intensity of feeling that leaves other concerns in the background
• a remarkable ability to emphasize what is truly admirable in LO and to avoid dwelling on the negative, even to respond with a compassion for the negative and render it, emotionally if not perceptually, into another positive attribute.

• Lady Caroline Lamb and Lord Byron{{cite magazine |last=(unknown) |first=Wanda |date=21 January 1980 |title=Let's Fall in Limerence |url=http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,952554,00.html |url-status=dead |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20080327181137/http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,952554,00.html |archive-date=27 March 2008 |access-date=16 October 2008 |magazine=Time |publisher=Time Inc.}}{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=237-243}}
• Dante Alighieri's love for Beatrice Portinari, a real person, despite his account being fictionalized{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=98-101}}

• Severus Snape's love for Lily Evans, the mother of Harry Potter{{Cite news |last=Chong |first=Elaine |date=14 March 2024 |title=What If Profound Lovesickness Isn't Romantic? |url=https://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/a60103994/limerence/ |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20250430023819/https://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/a60103994/limerence/ |archive-date=30 April 2025 |access-date=1 June 2025 |work=Esquire}}{{Cite web |last=Messman-Rucker |first=Ariel |date=29 May 2025 |title=Limerence explained: Is it a crush or an obsession? |url=https://www.pride.com/answers-advice/love-and-sex/limerence-explained |access-date=1 June 2025 |website=Pride.com |language=en}}
• Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, from the Twilight series
• Romeo and Juliet
• Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice

Dorothy Tennov gives several reasons for inventing a term for the state denoted by limerence (usually termed "being in love").{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=15–16,71,116,120}} One principle reason is to resolve ambiguities with the word "love" being used both to refer to an act which is chosen, as well as to a state which is endured:

Many writers on love have complained about semantic difficulties. The dictionary lists two dozen different meanings of the word "love". And how does one distinguish between love and affection, liking, fondness, caring, concern, infatuation, attraction, or desire? [...] Acknowledgment of a distinction between love as a verb, as an action taken by the individual, and love as a state is awkward. Never having fallen in love is not at all a matter of not loving, if loving is defined as caring. Furthermore, this state of "being in love" included feelings that do not properly fit with love defined as concern.

Dorothy Tennov sometimes considers limerence to be synonymous with the term "romantic love".{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=161,172}}{{harvnb|Tennov|2005}} This term has a complicated history with an evolving definition, but the sense in which Tennov uses it originates from a literary tradition of stories depicting tragic or unfulfilled love.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=87–93}} Some examples of romantic love stories in this vein are Layla and Majnun, Tristan and Iseult, Dante and Beatrice (from La Vita Nuova), Romeo and Juliet and The Sorrows of Young Werther.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=87–117}}

In this sense, romantic love is idealized, unrealistic and irrational, the kind of love often found in a fairy-tale depicting a tragedy. This can be contrasted with rational, practical and pragmatic love, or the kind of love found in steady, long-term relationships.{{Cite web |last=Karandashev |first=Victor |date=12 March 2022 |title=What Is Romantic Love? |url=https://love-diversity.org/what-is-romantic-love/ |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20250107215724/https://love-diversity.org/what-is-romantic-love/ |archive-date=7 January 2025 |access-date=7 January 2025 |website=The Diversity of Love Journal}}{{harvnb|Karandashev|2017|pp=xii-xiii,14,24,30–33}}{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=109,117}}{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|pp=4,242-244}}

The literary genre of romantic love dates back to troubadour poetry from the middle ages (or earlier) and the doctrine of courtly love.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=89–96}} Tennov credits the cleric Andreas Capellanus as describing the state of limerence "very accurately" in The Art of Courtly Love, a book of statutes for the "proper" conduct of lovers.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=174}}{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=94}} The work includes rules such as "A true lover is constantly and without intermission possessed by the thoughts of his beloved." and "The easy attainment of love makes it of little value; difficulty of attainment makes it prized."{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=96}} This work helped spread the cultural doctrine of romantic love throughout Europe.{{harvnb|Lee|1998|pp=54–55}} Because of the literary and cultural origins of the term, the romantic love phenomenon is sometimes held to be socially constructed (especially by critics, according to Tennov); however, Tennov argues that limerence has a biological basis and evolutionary purpose.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=174–175,242–249}}{{harvnb|Lee|1998|pp=50,54–55}}

Tennov also sometimes considers limerence to be synonymous with "falling" in love,{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=167,222,270}}{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=42-43}} a concept which also has origins in the romantic tradition and the idea that love is tragic. To "fall" in love evokes a connotation of physically falling over. One influential work in the middle ages described lovers who frequently fainted or lost consciousness.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=42-43,89}}

Romantic love is also often used as a synonym for passionate love, also called "being in love", and also often associated with limerence.{{Cite journal |last1=Bode |first1=Adam |last2=Kowal |first2=Marta |date=3 May 2023 |title=Toward consistent reporting of sample characteristics in studies investigating the biological mechanisms of romantic love |journal=Frontiers in Psychology |volume=14 |doi=10.3389/fpsyg.2023.983419 |pmc=10192910 |pmid=37213378 |doi-access=free}} Academic literature has never universally adopted a single term for this. Helen Fisher has commented that she prefers the term "romantic love" because she thinks it has meaning in society.{{cite podcast |url=https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/madly-in-love-researcher-talks-love-limerence-and/id1510016468?i=1000640994601 |title="Madly In Love" Researcher Talks Love, Limerence, and Mating For Life with Dr. Helen Fisher |website=It Starts With Attraction |last=Holmes |first=Kimberly |date=2024 |access-date=27 May 2024}}: "I don't think there is any difference [between romantic love and limerence]. I used to know [Dorothy Tennov] and I guess she wanted to invent a new term, and that was fine. I don't mind that, but I actually like the term of romantic love. Her concept of limerence was a rather sad one. It had a sad component to it. Anyway, she created a new term. It's a perfectly fine term. I could have used it myself. I decided not to because I felt that the term romantic love had meaning in society and I didn't see the need for a new term. But I certainly liked her work. I certainly read her book. I certainly knew her. I admired her. And I didn't happen to adopt the term limerence, but if people want to use it, fine with me. [...] My memory of [limerence]—and this is—she wrote that book in 1979, so I—and then she died pretty recently—and she was sick, and even the day that I met her at a conference, she was with her son who she really needed for, I don't know, for emotional or physical support. From my reading of it, she sort of felt that limerence was a somewhat unhealthy experience, that it so overtook you and could lead to some disaster."

{{Main|Passionate and companionate love}}

Limerence has been compared to passionate love, with Elaine Hatfield considering them synonymous or commenting in 2016 that they are "much the same".{{cite news | first = Nick | last = Lehr | title = Limerence: The potent grip of obsessive love | url = https://www.cnn.com/2016/10/10/health/limerence-heartbreak-obsession/index.html | format = web | work = CNN | date = 10 October 2016 | access-date = 5 May 2024 | archive-date = 31 May 2023 | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20230531045734/https://www.cnn.com/2016/10/10/health/limerence-heartbreak-obsession/index.html | url-status = live }} Many other academics have also considered these terms synonymous. Passionate love is described as:{{harvnb|Hatfield|Walster|1985|p=9}}

A state of intense longing for union with an other. Reciprocated love (union with the other) is associated with fulfillment and ecstasy. Unrequited love (separation) with emptiness; with anxiety, or despair. A state of profound physiological arousal.

Various authors have considered "infatuation" to be a synonym for both passionate love and limerence.{{Cite journal |last=Sternberg |first=Robert |date=1986 |title=A triangular theory of love |url=https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0033-295X.93.2.119 |journal=Psychological Review |volume=93 |issue=2 |pages=119–135 |doi=10.1037/0033-295X.93.2.119|url-access=subscription }} Dorothy Tennov has stated that she did not use the word "infatuation" because while there is overlap, the word evokes different connotations.{{harvnb|Tennov|2005|p=28}} In one type of distinction, people use "infatuation" to express disapproval or to refer to unsatisfactory relationships, and "love" to refer to satisfactory ones.{{harvnb|Hatfield|Walster|1985|pp=51–53}} In Love and Limerence, Tennov considers "infatuation" to be a pejorative, for example often being used as a label for teenage limerent fantasizing and obsession with a celebrity.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=15,85}}

In the triangular theory of love, by Robert Sternberg, "infatuation" refers to romantic passion without intimacy (or closeness) and without commitment.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=45}} Sternberg has stated that infatuation in his theory is essentially the same as limerence. Another related concept (which also has qualities reminiscent of limerence) is "fatuous love", which is romantic passion with a commitment made in the absence of intimacy. This can be, for example, lovers in the throes of new passion who commit to marry without really knowing each other well enough to know if they are suitable partners. In this situation, their passion usually wanes over time, turning into a commitment alone (called "empty love") and they become unhappy.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=46}}

Helen Fisher's popular theory of independent emotion systems posits that there are three primary biological systems involved with human reproduction, mating and parenting: lust (the sex drive, or sexual desire), attraction (passionate love, infatuation or limerence) and attachment (companionate love). These three systems regularly work in concert together but serve different purposes and can also work independently.{{cite journal |last1=Bode |first1=Adam |date=16 October 2023 |title=Romantic love evolved by co-opting mother-infant bonding |journal=Frontiers in Psychology |volume=14 |doi=10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1176067 |pmc=10616966 |pmid=37915523 |doi-access=free}} According to Fisher, lust, attraction and attachment can occur in any order.{{harvnb|Fisher|2016|p=148}}{{Cite web |last=Stuart |first=Julia |date=2007-02-13 |title=What exactly is love? |url=https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/what-exactly-is-love-436234.html |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20250420201659/https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/what-exactly-is-love-436234.html |archive-date=20 April 2025 |access-date=2025-04-20 |website=The Independent |language=en}} Independent emotions theory has been critiqued as being oversimplified, but the general idea of separate systems remains useful.

When limerence is a component in an affair, for example, Fisher's theory can be used to help explain this.{{harvnb|Beam|2013|pp=72,75,84}} Fisher's theory is that while a person can feel deep attachment for a long-term spouse, they can also feel limerence for somebody else, just as how one can also feel sexual attraction towards other people.{{Cite news |last=Fisher |first=Helen |date=23 January 2014 |title=10 facts about infidelity |url=https://ideas.ted.com/10-facts-about-infidelity-helen-fisher/ |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20250106120646/https://ideas.ted.com/10-facts-about-infidelity-helen-fisher/ |archive-date=6 January 2025 |access-date=15 January 2025 |work=TED.com}} Joe Beam comments that if somebody in a committed relationship ends up in limerence like this, it will pull them out of their relationship.

Fisher's theory has also been used to explain why some people can feel "platonic" limerence without sexual desire, because sexual desire is separate from romantic love.{{Cite journal |last=Diamond |first=Lisa M. |date=2004 |title=Emerging Perspectives on Distinctions Between Romantic Love and Sexual Desire |url=https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1111/j.0963-7214.2004.00287.x |journal=Current Directions in Psychological Science |language=en |volume=13 |issue=3 |pages=116–119 |doi=10.1111/j.0963-7214.2004.00287.x |issn=0963-7214|url-access=subscription }}: "[M]ost researchers acknowledge a distinction between the earlier 'passionate' stage of love, sometimes called 'limerence' (Tennov, 1979), and the later-developing 'companionate' stage of love [...]. Although it may be easy to imagine sexual desire without romantic love, the notion of 'pure,' 'platonic,' or 'nonsexual' romantic love is somewhat more controversial. Yet empirical evidence indicates that sexual desire is not a prerequisite for romantic love, even in its earliest, passionate stages. Many men and women report having experienced romantic passion in the absence of sexual desire (Tennov, 1979) [...]." Lisa Diamond argues this is possible even in contradiction to one's sexual orientation, because the brain systems evolved by repurposing the systems for mother-infant bonding (a process called exaptation). According to this theory, it would not have been adaptive for a parent to only be able to bond with an opposite sex child, so the systems must have evolved independent of sexual orientation. People most often fall in love because of sexual desire, but Diamond suggests time spent together and physical touch can serve as a substitute. In Dorothy Tennov's conception, sexual attraction was an essential component of limerence (as a generalization); however she did note that occasionally people described to her what seemed to fit the pattern of limerence, but without sexual attraction.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=24}} Additionally, for those who do have a sexual interest, their desire for emotional union and commitment is a far greater concern to them.{{harvnb|Fisher|2016|p=23}}

Attachment theory refers to John Bowlby's concept of an "attachment system", a system evolved to keep infants in proximity of their caregiver (or "attachment figure").{{cite journal |last1=Berscheid |first1=Ellen |date=2010 |title=Love in the Fourth Dimension |url=https://www.annualreviews.org/content/journals/10.1146/annurev.psych.093008.100318 |journal=Annual Review of Psychology |volume=61 |pages=1–25 |doi=10.1146/annurev.psych.093008.100318 |pmid=19575626|url-access=subscription }} A person uses their attachment figure as a "secure base" to feel safe exploring the environment, seeks proximity with the attachment figure when threatened, and suffers distress when separated. A prominent theory suggests this system is reused for adult pair bonds, as an exaptation or co-option, whereby a given trait takes on a new purpose. Attachment style refers to differences in attachment-related thoughts and behaviors, especially relating to the concept of security vs. insecurity.{{Cite book |last1=Fraley |first1=Chris |title=Handbook of Personality, Third Edition: Theory and Research |last2=Shaver |first2=Phillip |date=5 August 2008 |publisher=Guilford Press |isbn=9781606237380 |edition=3rd |pages=518–541 |chapter=Attachment Theory and Its Place in Contemporary Personality Theory and Research}} This can be split into components of anxiety (worrying the partner is available, attentive and responsive) and avoidance (preference not to rely on others or open up emotionally).

In Helen Fisher's taxonomy, limerence and attachment are considered different systems with different purposes. In the past, other authors have also suggested that limerence could be related to the anxious attachment style. However, in their original 1987 paper conceptualizing romantic love as an attachment process (and relating limerence to attachment style), Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver also caution that they are not implying that the early phase of romance is equivalent to being attached. Other prominent authors have also criticized the idea that attachment theory can replace concepts like love styles or types of love.{{harvnb|Hendrick|Hendrick|2006|pp=162-163}}

A 1990 study found that the 15% of participants who self-reported an anxious attachment style scored highly on limerence measures (especially obsessive preoccupation and emotional dependence scales), but found considerable overlap of distributions between all three attachment styles and limerence. Studies and a meta-analysis by Bianca Acevedo & Arthur Aron found that while passionate love with obsession is associated with relationship satisfaction in short-term relationships, it's associated with slightly decreased satisfaction over the long-term and they speculate this could be related to insecure attachment.{{Cite journal |last1=Acevedo |first1=Bianca |last2=Aron |first2=Arthur |date=1 March 2009 |title=Does a Long-Term Relationship Kill Romantic Love? |url=https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1037/a0014226 |journal=Review of General Psychology |volume=13 |issue=1 |pages=59–65 |doi=10.1037/a0014226|url-access=subscription }}: "Passionate love, 'a state of intense longing for union with another' (Hatfield & Rapson, 1993, p. 5), also referred to as [...] 'limerence' (Tennov, 1979), includes an obsessive element, characterized by intrusive thinking, uncertainty, and mood swings."

Love styles are a concept invented by the sociologist John Alan Lee which can be understood as different ways to love, or different kinds of love stories.{{Cite journal |last=Lee |first=John Alan |date=1977b |title=A Typology of Styles of Loving |url=https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/014616727700300204 |journal=Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin |language=en |volume=3 |issue=2 |pages=173–182 |doi=10.1177/014616727700300204 |issn=0146-1672|url-access=subscription }}{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|p=1}} Limerence is sometimes considered similar or related to the love style mania (or manic love), named after the Greek theia mania (the madness from the gods).{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=41–43,93}}{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|p=86}} Lee developed his concept of manic love in relation to some of the same sources as Tennov, such as Andreas Capellanus and courtly love.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=93}}{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=174–175}}

A manic lover is obsessively preoccupied with the beloved.{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=45}} When asked to recall their childhood, a typical manic lover recalls it as unhappy, and they are usually lonely, dissatisfied adults.{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=51}} They are anxious to fall in love; however, they are unsure of which physical type they prefer. Because they are unsure of who to fall in love with, they often fall in love with somebody quite inappropriate (even somebody they initially dislike) and project onto them qualities they want but do not actually have.{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|p=102}}{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=46}} According to Lee, "Mania can become almost an addiction nearly impossible for the addict to end on his own initiative."{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|p=97}} Mania is often the first love style of a young person, but others may not experience it until middle age—for example, after a marriage has lost its interest. According to Lee, a cycle of manic loves is often caused by a desperate need to be in love, the cause of which the manic lover must locate and remedy to break free.{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=47}}

While Lee describes the manic lover as jealous, Tennov states that people can be limerent and not be jealous. Rather, according to Tennov, what a limerent person desires is exclusivity and this is often mistaken for jealousy.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=114}}

Among the other love styles, mania can be closely compared to eros (or erotic love). Both are often considered "romantic love", and mania and eros taken together correspond to passionate love.{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|pp=88–90}} Like the manic lover, the erotic lover is also intensely preoccupied with their beloved, but the thoughts are optimistic while a manic lover is insecure.{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|pp=89–90,94}} Unlike a manic lover, the erotic lover is aware of which physical type they consider ideal.{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=46,50}} As such, eros begins with a powerful initial attraction, referred to by Stendhal as "a sudden sensation of recognition and hope".{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|pp=10–11}} Because the erotic lover is in search of an ideal, the eros love style is not "blind".{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=43}} According to Lee, only manic lovers typically "crystallize" and ignore the shortcomings and flaws of their beloved.{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|p=22}} The erotic lover also recalls their childhood as happy and eros has been associated with secure attachment, while mania has been associated with attachment anxiety and neuroticism.{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=50}}{{Cite journal |last=Karandashev |first=Victor |date=December 2022 |title=Adaptive and Maladaptive Love Attitudes |url=https://interpersona.psychopen.eu/index.php/interpersona/article/view/6283 |journal=Interpersona: An International Journal on Personal Relationships |volume=16 |issue=2 |pages=158–177 |doi=10.5964/ijpr.6283 |doi-access=free}}{{harvnb|Hendrick|Hendrick|2006|p=156}} A third love style, manic eros, is a mixture of the two, where the lover is "moving either toward a more stable eros or toward full-blown mania". Some are typical erotic lovers under a temporary strain (moving toward mania), while others are typical manic lovers with a self-confident and helping partner (moving toward eros).{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|pp=170-172}}

According to Lee, the love style ludus (noncommittal love as a game, avoidance and juggling multiple partners) and mania possess a "fatal attraction" for one another. It's surprisingly common, but not a good match for happy, mutual love.{{harvnb|Lee|1988|pp=44–45,50,54}}

Limerence is sometimes compared to erotomania;{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=60–61,265}} however, erotomania is defined as a delusional disorder where the sufferer has a delusional belief that the object of their affection is madly in love with them when they are not.{{cite journal |last1=Fisher |first1=Helen |last2=Xu |first2=Xiaomeng |last3=Aron |first3=Arthur |last4=Brown |first4=Lucy |date=9 May 2016 |title=Intense, Passionate, Romantic Love: A Natural Addiction? How the Fields That Investigate Romance and Substance Abuse Can Inform Each Other |journal=Frontiers in Psychology |volume=7 |page=687 |doi=10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00687 |pmc=4861725 |pmid=27242601 |doi-access=free}}{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=163–167}} A person suffering from erotomania might interpret subtle, irrelevant details (such as their love object wearing a particular accessory) as coded declarations of love, and the sufferer will invent ways to interpret outright rejections as unserious so they can continue believing the object is secretly in love with them.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=164}}

According to Dorothy Tennov, a person experiencing limerence might misinterpret signals and falsely believe that their LO reciprocates the feeling when they do not, but they are receptive to negative cues, especially when receiving a clear rejection.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=60–61,94–95,267}}

Because limerence is compared to addiction, it is sometimes compared to or contrasted with what is called "love addiction", although according to modern research all romantic love may work like an addiction at the level of the brain. There's an academic discussion over whether all love is an addiction, or whether "love addiction" only refers to brain processes which could be considered abnormal.{{Cite journal |last1=Earp |first1=Brian D. |last2=Wudarczyk |first2=Olga A. |last3=Foddy |first3=Bennett |last4=Savulescu |first4=Julian |date=2017 |title=Addicted to Love: What Is Love Addiction and When Should It Be Treated? |journal=Philosophy, Psychiatry, & Psychology |language=en |volume=24 |issue=1 |pages=77–92 |doi=10.1353/ppp.2017.0011 |issn=1086-3303 |pmc=5378292 |pmid=28381923}} The term has had an amorphous definition over the years and does not yet denote a psychiatric condition, but recently one definition has been developed that "Individuals addicted to love tend to experience negative moods and affects when away from their partners and have the strong urge and craving to see their partner as a way of coping with stressful situations."{{Cite journal |last1=Costa |first1=Sebastiano |last2=Barberis |first2=Nadia |last3=Griffiths |first3=Mark D. |last4=Benedetto |first4=Loredana |last5=Ingrassia |first5=Massimo |date=2021-06-01 |title=The Love Addiction Inventory: Preliminary Findings of the Development Process and Psychometric Characteristics |journal=International Journal of Mental Health and Addiction |language=en |volume=19 |issue=3 |pages=651–668 |doi=10.1007/s11469-019-00097-y |issn=1557-1882 |doi-access=free}} This definition is given in terms of a relationship, although limerence is usually unrequited.

{{See also|Biology of romantic love}}

Dorothy Tennov's speculation is that limerence has an evolutionary purpose.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=242–249}}{{harvnb|Tennov|1998|pp=81–82}}

For what ultimate cause might the state of limerence be a proximate cause? In other words, why were people who became limerent successful, maybe more successful than others, in passing their genes on to succeeding generations back a few hundred thousand or million years ago when heads grew larger and fathers who left mother and child to fend for themselves were less "reproductively successful"—in the long run, that is (Morgan 1993). Did limerence evolve to cement a relationship long enough to get the offspring up and running? [...] The most consistent result of limerence is mating, not merely sexual interaction but also commitment, the establishment of a shared domicile in the form of a cozy nest built for the enjoyment of ecstasy, for reproduction, and for the rearing of children.

Helen Fisher's theory is that limerence is the activation of a motivation system for choosing and focusing energy on a potential mating partner. According to Fisher, this brain system evolved for mammalian mate choice, also called "courtship attraction". In this phenomenon, a preferred mating partner is chosen based on a display of physical traits (such as a peacock's tail feathers) or other behaviors.{{Cite journal |last1=Fisher |first1=Helen E |last2=Aron |first2=Arthur |last3=Brown |first3=Lucy L |date=2006-12-29 |title=Romantic love: a mammalian brain system for mate choice |journal=Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences |language=en |volume=361 |issue=1476 |pages=2173–2186 |doi=10.1098/rstb.2006.1938 |issn=0962-8436 |pmc=1764845 |pmid=17118931}} Fisher also includes the attraction to personality traits and other characteristics in her mate choice theory for humans.{{harvnb|Fisher|2009|pp=11,37,142-143,157-159,284}}{{harvnb|Fisher|2016|pp=20-23,26-27}}{{cite magazine |last=Fisher |first=Helen |author-link=Helen Fisher (anthropologist) |date=2012 |title=We have chemistry! The role of four primary temperament dimensions in mate choice and partner compatibility |issue=52 |magazine=The Psychotherapist |location=United Kingdom |publisher=United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy |issn=2049-4912}}: "Passionate love, obsessive love, being in love, whatever you wish to call it. [...] In short, Explorers preferentially sought Explorers, Builders sought other Builders, and Directors and Negotiators were drawn to one another." Who a person falls in love with then is determined by their "love map", a largely unconscious list of traits they desire in an ideal partner. Love maps begin forming during childhood based on experiences with parents and friends, among other associations, but also change over time.{{harvnb|Fisher|2016|pp=26-27}}{{harvnb|Fisher|2009|pp=157-159,234-235}} In most species, courtship attraction is brief, but intense romantic love can last much longer in humans. A competing evolutionary theory to Fisher's is that courtship attraction only encompasses love at first sight attraction, and the obsessive thoughts and intense attraction associated with early-stage romantic love instead evolved by co-opting (or re-using) the brain systems for mother-infant bonding. In this theory, romantic love may serve the function of mate choice but the brain systems were not originally for this. In Fisher's theory, only the attachment system is co-opted in this way.

Tennov has suggested that if the neurophysiological "machinery" for limerence is not a universal among all humans, then having both phenotypes (limerent and nonlimerent) in the population might be beneficial and an evolutionarily stable strategy.{{harvnb|Tennov|2005|p=413}}

Limerence has been called an addiction.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=x}} The early stage of romantic love is comparable to a behavioral addiction (i.e. addiction to a non-substance) but the "substance" involved is the loved person.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=216-218,235}}: "[T]he limerent individual obsesses, idealises and shows high levels of emotional dependency. [...] There are certainly some striking similarities between love and addiction[,] particularly those described by Hite and Tennov. [...] At first, addiction is maintained by pleasure, but the intensity of this pleasure gradually diminishes and the addiction is then maintained by the avoidance of pain. [...] The 'addiction' is to a person, or an experience, not a chemical. [...] [O]ne of the characteristics shared by addicts and lovers is that they both obsess. The addict is always preoccupied by the next 'fix' or 'hit', while the lover is always preoccupied by the beloved. Such obsessions are associated with compulsive urges to seek out what is desired [...]."{{Cite journal |last1=Grant |first1=Jon |last2=Potenza |first2=Marc |last3=Weinstein |first3=Aviv |last4=Gorelick |first4=David |date=21 June 2010 |title=Introduction to Behavioral Addictions |journal=The American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse |volume=36 |issue=5 |pages=233–241|doi=10.3109/00952990.2010.491884 |pmid=20560821 |pmc=3164585 }} A team led by Helen Fisher used fMRI to find that people who had "just fallen madly in love" showed activation in an area of the brain called the ventral tegmental area, which projects dopamine to other brain areas, while looking at a photograph of their beloved. This as well as activity in other key reward areas is consistent with the theory that people in love experience what is called incentive salience in response to the loved person, which could be a result of oxytocin activity in motivation pathways in the brain.{{Cite journal |last1=Zou |first1=Zhiling |last2=Song |first2=Hongwen |last3=Zhang |first3=Yuting |last4=Zhang |first4=Xiaochu |date=21 September 2016 |title=Romantic Love vs. Drug Addiction May Inspire a New Treatment for Addiction |journal=Frontiers in Psychology |volume=7 |page=1436 |doi=10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01436 |pmc=5031705 |pmid=27713720 |doi-access=free}}{{Cite journal |last1=Bode |first1=Adam |last2=Kavanagh |first2=Phillip S. |date=November 2023 |title=Romantic Love and Behavioral Activation System Sensitivity to a Loved One |journal=Behavioral Sciences |language=en |volume=13 |issue=11 |pages=921 |doi=10.3390/bs13110921 |issn=2076-328X |pmc=10669312 |pmid=37998668 |doi-access=free}}

Incentive salience is the property by which cues in the environment stand out to a person and become attention-grabbing and attractive, like a "motivational magnet" which pulls a person towards a particular reward.{{Cite journal |last1=Berridge |first1=Kent |last2=Robinson |first2=Terry |last3=Aldridge |first3=J. Wayne |date=February 2009 |title=Dissecting components of reward: 'liking', 'wanting', and learning |journal=Current Opinion in Pharmacology |volume=9 |issue=1 |pages=65–73|doi=10.1016/j.coph.2008.12.014 |pmid=19162544 |pmc=2756052 }}{{Cite journal |last1=Berridge |first1=Kent |last2=Robinson |first2=Terry |date=2016 |title=Liking, wanting, and the incentive-sensitization theory of addiction |journal=American Psychologist |volume=71 |issue=8 |pages=670–679 |doi=10.1037/amp0000059|pmid=27977239 |pmc=5171207 }} The phenomenon Tennov describes as a loved one taking on a "special meaning" to the person in love is believed to be related to this heightened salience in response to the loved one.

In addiction research, a distinction is drawn between "wanting" a reward (i.e. incentive salience, tied to mesocorticolimbic dopamine) and "liking" a reward (i.e. pleasure, tied to hedonic hotspots), aspects which are dissociable. People can be addicted to drugs and compulsively seek them out, even when taking the drug no longer results in a high or the addiction is detrimental to one's life. They can also "want" (i.e. feel compelled towards, in the sense of incentive salience) something which they do not cognitively wish for. In a similar way, people who are in love may "want" a loved person even when interactions with them are not pleasurable. For example, they may want to contact an ex-partner after a rejection, even when the experience will only be painful. It is also possible for a person to be "in love" with somebody they do not like, or who treats them poorly.{{harvnb|Hatfield|Walster|1985|pp=103–105}} Fisher's team proposes that romantic love is a "positive addiction" (i.e. not harmful) when requited and a "negative addiction" when unrequited or inappropriate.

In brain scans of long-term intense romantic love (involving subjects who professed to be "madly" in love, but were together with their partner 10 years or more), attraction similar to early-stage romantic love was associated with dopamine reward center activity ("wanting"), but long-term attachment was associated with the globus palludus, a site for opiate receptors identified as a hedonic hotspot ("liking"). Long-term romantic lovers also showed lower levels of obsession compared to those in the early stage.{{Cite journal |last1=Acevedo |first1=Bianca |last2=Aron |first2=Arthur |last3=Fisher |first3=Helen |last4=Brown |first4=Lucy |date=5 January 2011 |title=Neural correlates of long-term intense romantic love |url=https://academic.oup.com/scan/article/7/2/145/1622197 |journal=Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience |volume=7 |issue=2 |pages=145–159 |doi=10.1093/scan/nsq092 |pmc=3277362 |pmid=21208991}}

For a person in limerence that goes unrequited, the pleasurable aspects tend to diminish over time, with the person becoming lovesick and the addiction being maintained more by avoidance of the pain of separation.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=82-106}}

{{Main|Lovesickness}}

Usually limerence is unrequited, and a horrible experience for the limerent person, even debilitating for some.{{Cite web |last=Meister |first=Sydney |date=18 March 2024 |title=Limerence Is All Over TikTok, but Therapists Say You're Not Getting the Whole Story |url=https://www.purewow.com/wellness/limerence-dating |access-date=24 September 2024 |website=PureWow |language=en}} Lovesickness is a state of mind characterized by addictive cravings, frustration, depression, melancholy and intrusive thinking. In Dorothy Tennov's survey group, 42% reported being "severely depressed about a love affair" and 17% said they "often thought of committing suicide".{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=149}} Other effects are distraction and self-isolation.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=87,98–99}} In a 1987 survey by Shere Hite in which many participants described relationships which were clearly limerent, 69% of married women and 48% of single women "neither liked, nor trusted, being in love", and their responses indicated being in love was mostly distressing. 17% "could no longer take love seriously".{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=43,215}} Fisher's fMRI scans of rejected lovers showed activation in brain areas associated with physical pain, craving and assessing one's gains and losses. Tennov describes being under the spell herself, saying "Before it happened, I couldn't have imagined it[.] Now, I wouldn't want to have it happen again."{{cite news | first = James | last = Brady | title = LOVESICKNESS A CHRONIC CONDITION | url = https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/wellness/1990/02/13/lovesickness-a-chronic-condition/a47356c5-898f-4a2b-98db-f5393c2a78f4/ | format = web | newspaper = The Washington Post | date = 13 Feb 1990 | access-date = 24 May 2024 | archive-date = 27 August 2017 | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20170827215958/https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/wellness/1990/02/13/lovesickness-a-chronic-condition/a47356c5-898f-4a2b-98db-f5393c2a78f4/ | url-status = live }} Some people even described to her incidents of self-injury, but Tennov maintains that limerence on its own is normal and tragedies involve additional factors.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=89–90,149–153,180}}

The physiological effects of limerence include trembling, pallor, flushing, weakness, sweating, butterflies in the stomach and a pounding heart.{{harvnb|Fisher|2016|p=22}} According to Tennov, the sensation of limerence is associated primarily with the heart: "When I asked interviewees in the throes of the limerent condition to tell where they felt the sensation of limerence, they pointed unerringly to the midpoint in their chest. So consistently did this occur that it would seem to be another indication that the state described is indeed limerence [...]."{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=64}}

Lovesickness has been pathologized in previous centuries, but is not currently in the ICD-10, ICPC or DSM-5.{{cite journal | last1 = Leonti | first1 = Marco | last2 = Casu | first2 = Laura | date = 2 July 2018 | title = Ethnopharmacology of Love | journal = Frontiers in Psychology | volume = 9 | page = 567 | doi = 10.3389/fphar.2018.00567 | doi-access = free | pmid = 30026695 | pmc = 6041438 }} Author and clinical psychologist Frank Tallis has made the argument that all love—even normal love—is largely indistinguishable from mental illness.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=171–172,284}} There's a debate among academics over whether addiction is really a "true" mental illness, but some forms of addiction are nevertheless treated as one by the DSM (for example, gambling addiction). Some have argued that all romantic love can be considered an addiction, but the lovers described by Tennov and Hite bear a particularly striking resemblance to addicts. However, limerence was not intended to denote an abnormal state and lovesickness is no longer recognized as a medical condition.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=43,53}}

The symptoms of lovesickness also bear resemblance to many other entries in the DSM.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=53,58}} For example, when people fall in love, there are four core symptoms: preoccupation, episodes of melancholy, episodes of rapture and instability of mood.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=53}} These correspond with conventional diagnoses of obsessionality (or OCD), depression, mania (or hypomania) and manic depression.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=53,55}} Other examples are physical symptoms similar to panic attacks (pounding heart, trembling, shortness of breath and lightheadedness), excessive worry about the future which resembles generalized anxiety disorder, appetite disturbance and sensitivity about one's appearance which resembles anorexia nervosa, and the feeling that life has become a dream which resembles derealization and depersonalization.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=58}} Bioethicist Brian Earp and colleagues have argued that the voluntary use of anti-love biotechnology (for example, a drug made to cause the person who uses it to fall out of love) could be ethical, but there is currently no drug which is a realistic candidate.{{Cite journal |last1=Earp |first1=Brian |last2=Sandberg |first2=Anders |last3=Savulescu |first3=Julian |date=16 September 2016 |title=The Medicalization of Love |url=https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/cambridge-quarterly-of-healthcare-ethics/article/medicalization-of-love/C777F50D65FAE64C7E4825AF8F2EFABE |journal=Cambridge Quarterly of Healthcare Ethics |volume=25 |issue=4 |pages=759–771 |doi=10.1017/S0963180116000542 |pmid=27634729}}{{Cite journal |last1=Earp |first1=Brian |last2=Wudarczyk |first2=Olga |last3=Sandberg |first3=Anders |last4=Savulescu |first4=Julian |date=25 October 2013 |title=If I Could Just Stop Loving You: Anti-Love Biotechnology and the Ethics of a Chemical Breakup |journal=The American Journal of Bioethics |volume=13 |issue=11 |pages=3–17 |doi=10.1080/15265161.2013.839752 |pmc=3898540 |pmid=24161170}}{{cite journal |last1=Langeslag |first1=Sandra |date=2024 |title=Refuting Six Misconceptions about Romantic Love |journal=Behavioral Sciences |volume=14 |issue=5 |page=383 |doi=10.3390/bs14050383 |pmc=11117554 |pmid=38785874 |doi-access=free}}

There's also a debate about the involuntary nature of romantic love. The notion that falling in love is an involuntary process is different from the issue of whether one's behavior can be considered autonomous while in love. Tallis argues that love evolved to override rationality so that one finds a lover and reproduces regardless of the personal costs of bearing and raising a child.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=60–86}} He uses the example of Charles Darwin who, never being romantic, is said to have sat and made a list of reasons to marry or not to marry.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=60–64}} Being accustomed to total freedom and worrying about such things as financial austerities that would limit his expenditure on books, Darwin found his reasons not to marry greatly outweighed his reasons to marry.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=63–64}} However, shortly thereafter Darwin unexpectedly fell in love, suddenly becoming preoccupied with cozy images of married life and thus quickly converting from bachelor to husband.{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=64–65}} Tallis writes:{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=85–86}}

At first sight, it seems extraordinary that evolutionary forces might conspire to shape something that looks like a mental illness to ensure reproductive success. Yet, there are many reasons why love should have evolved to share with madness several features—the most notable of which is the loss of reason. Like the ancient humoral model of love sickness, evolutionary principles seem to have necessitated a blurring of the distinction between normal and abnormal states. Evolution expects us to love madly, lest we fail to love at all.

According to Tennov, "Love has been called a madness and an affliction at least since the time of the ancient Greeks and probably earlier than that."{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=173}} Historical accounts of lovesickness attribute it, for example, to being struck by an arrow shot by Eros, to a sickness entering through the eyes (similar to the evil eye), to an excess of black bile, or to spells, potions and other magic. Attempts to treat lovesickness have been made throughout history using a variety of plants, natural products, charms and rituals. The first known treatise on lovesickness is Remedia Amoris, by the poet Ovid.

Crystallization, for Tennov, is the "remarkable ability to emphasize what is truly admirable in LO and to avoid dwelling on the negative, even to respond with a compassion for the negative and render it, emotionally if not perceptually, into another positive attribute."{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=24,30}} Tennov borrows the term from the French writer Stendhal from his 1821 treatise on love, De l'Amour, in which he describes an analogy where a tree branch is tossed into a salt mine. After remaining there for several months, the tree branch (or twig) becomes covered in salt crystals which transform it "into an object of shimmering beauty". In the same way, unattractive characteristics of an LO are given little to no attention so that the LO is seen in the most favorable light.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=29–30}} One of Tennov's interviewees says:{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=31–32}}

Yes I knew he gambled, I knew he sometimes drank too much, and I knew he didn't read a book from one year to the next. I knew and I didn't know. I knew it but I didn't incorporate it into the overall image. I dwelt on his wavy hair, the way he looked at me, the thought of his driving to work in the morning, his charm (that I believed must surely affect everyone he met), the flowers he sent, the considerations he had shown to my sister's children at the picnic last summer, the feeling I had when we were in close physical contact, the way he mixed a martini, his laugh, the hair on the back of his hand. Okay! I know it's crazy, that my list of 'positives' sounds silly, but those are the things I think of, remember, and, yes, want back again!

Intrusive thinking is an oft-reported feature of romantic love. Tennov wrote that "Limerence is first and foremost a condition of cognitive obsession."{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=33}} One study found that on average people in love spent 65% of their waking hours thinking about the beloved.{{cite journal |last1=Langeslag |first1=Sandra |last2=Van Der Veen |first2=Frederik |last3=Fekkes |first3=Durk |title=Blood Levels of Serotonin Are Differentially Affected by Romantic Love in Men and Women |journal=Journal of Psychophysiology |year=2012 |volume=26 |issue=2 |pages=92–98 |doi=10.1027/0269-8803/a000071 |hdl=1765/75067 }} Arthur Aron says "It is obsessive-compulsive when you're feeling it. It's the center of your life." At the height of obsessive fantasy, people experiencing limerence may spend 85 to nearly 100% of their days and nights doting on the LO, lose ability to focus on other tasks and become easily distracted.

A limerent person can spend time fantasizing about future events even if they never come true, as the anticipation on its own yields dopamine. According to Tennov, limerent fantasy is unsatisfactory unless rooted in reality, because the fantasizer may want the fantasy to seem realistic enough to be somewhat possible.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=41,85,86}} The fantasies can nevertheless be wildly unrealistic, for example, one person related to her an elaborate rescue fantasy in which he saves an LO's 5-year-old cousin from a group of motorcycles only to be bitten by a snake and die in his LO's lap.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=40}} This fantasizing along with the replaying of actual memories forms a bridge between one's ordinary life and the eventual hoped for moment of consummation. Tennov says that limerent fantasy is "inescapable", something that just "happens" as opposed to something one "does".{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=40–41}}

One theory of obsessive thinking draws from the parallel with drug addiction: as the early stage of romantic love is compared to addiction to a person, and drug addicts also exhibit obsessive thinking about drug use. Tennov has written that limerent fantasy based in reality "can be conceived as intricate strategy planning". In the late 1990s, it had also been speculated that being in love may lower serotonin levels in the brain, which could cause the intrusive thoughts.{{cite journal |last1=Marazziti |first1=D. |last2=Akiskal |first2=H. S. |last3=Rossi |first3=A. |last4=Cassano |first4=G. B. |title=Alteration of the platelet serotonin transporter in romantic love |journal=Psychol. Med. |year=1999 |volume=29 |issue=3 |pages=741–745 |pmid=10405096 |doi=10.1017/S0033291798007946 |s2cid=12630172 }} The serotonin hypothesis is based in part on a comparison to obsessive–compulsive disorder,{{cite journal |last1=Leckman |first1=James |last2=Mayes |first2=Linda |date=July 1999 |title=Preoccupations and Behaviors Associated with Romantic and Parental Love: Perspectives on the Origin of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder |journal=Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America |volume=8 |issue=3 |pages=635–665 |doi=10.1016/S1056-4993(18)30172-X |pmid=10442234 |doi-access=free}} but the experimental evidence is ambiguous. The experiments have tested blood levels of serotonin, with the first experiment finding lowered serotonin levels, but the second experiment finding that men and women were affected differently. This second experiment found that obsessive thinking was actually associated with increased serotonin levels in women.

For some people who have a fear of intimacy or a history of trauma, limerent fantasy might be an escape or a means of having what feels like a relationship but without the threat of real intimacy.{{Cite news |last=Britten |first=Fleur |date=23 November 2022 |title=What Love Addiction Feels Like |url=https://www.vogue.co.uk/arts-and-lifestyle/article/limerance-experience |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20240925211140/https://www.vogue.co.uk/arts-and-lifestyle/article/limerance-experience |archive-date=25 September 2024 |access-date=25 September 2024 |work=British Vogue}}

Tennov's conception of fear of rejection was characterized by nervous feelings and shyness around the limerent object, "worried that your own actions may bring about disaster".{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=49}} Awkwardness, stammering, confusion and shyness predominate at the behavioral level. She quotes the poet Sappho who writes "Sweat runs down in rivers, a tremor seizes [...] Lost in the love-trance."{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=48–49}} One of Tennov's interviewees, a 28-year-old truck driver, said "It was like what you might call stage fright, like going up in front of an audience. [...] I was awkward as hell."{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=49–50}} Fisher et al. has suggested that fear in the presence of the beloved is caused by elevated levels of dopamine.

Many of the people Tennov interviewed described being normally confident, but suddenly shy when the limerent object is around, or being only in this state of fear with certain limerent objects but not others.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=51–54}} Tennov wondered if fear of rejection even serves an evolutionary purpose, by drawing out the courtship process to ensure a greater chance of finding a compatible partner.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=247}}

According to Dorothy Tennov, "uncertainty" is a key element to limerence:{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=56}}

The recognition that some uncertainty must exist has been commented on and complained about by virtually everyone who has undertaken a serious study of the phenomenon of romantic love. Psychologists Ellen Bersheid and Elaine Walster discussed this common observation made, they note, by Socrates, Ovid, the Kama Sutra, and "Dear Abby," that the presentation of a hard-to-get as opposed to an immediately yielding exterior is a help in eliciting passion.

Some people may have a heightened susceptibility to limerence, a state Tennov calls "readiness", "longing for limerence" or being "in love with love".{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=106–109}}{{Cite journal |last=Verhulst |first=Johan |date=1984 |title=Limerence: Notes on the nature and function of passionate love |url=https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1984-31378-001 |journal=Psychoanalysis & Contemporary Thought |volume=7 |issue=1 |pages=115–138}} This may occur due to biological factors such as adolescence, but also psychological factors like loneliness and discontent. Sometimes readiness can be so intense that a person falls in love with somebody who only has a minimal appeal.

Shaver and Hazan observed that those suffering from loneliness are more susceptible to limerence,{{Citation| last1 = Shaver| first1 = Phillip| last2 = Hazan| first2 = Cindy| title = Compatible and Incompatible Relationships| chapter = Incompatibility, Loneliness, and "Limerence"| editor-last = Ickes| editor-first = W.| pages = 163–184| publisher = Springer, New York, NY| date = 1985| doi = 10.1007/978-1-4612-5044-9_8| isbn = 978-1-4612-9538-9}} arguing that "if people have a large number of unmet social needs, and are not aware of this, then a sign that someone else might be interested is easily built up in that person's imagination into far more than the friendly social contact that it might have been. By dwelling on the memory of that social contact, the lonely person comes to magnify it into a deep emotional experience, which may be quite different from the reality of the event."{{harvnb|Hayes|2000|p=460}}

Tennov estimates, based on both questionnaire and interview data, that limerence most commonly lasts between 18 months and three years with an average of two years, but may be as short as mere days or as long as a lifetime.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=141–142}} One woman wrote to Tennov about her mother's limerence which lasted 65 years. Tennov calls it the worst case when the limerent person cannot get away, because the LO is a coworker or lives nearby. Limerence can last indefinitely sometimes when it is unrequited, especially when reciprocation is uncertain. This could be such as when receiving mixed signals from an LO, or because of the intermittent reinforcement of an LO ignoring the limerent person for awhile and then suddenly calling.

Tennov's estimate of 18 months to 3 years is sometimes used as the normal duration of romantic love.{{Cite journal |last1=Marazziti |first1=Donatella |last2=Canale |first2=Domenico |date=2004 |title=Hormonal changes when falling in love |url=https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306453003001616 |journal=Psychoneuroendocrinology |volume=29 |issue=7 |pages=931–936 |doi=10.1016/j.psyneuen.2003.08.006 |pmid=15177709|url-access=subscription }} The other common estimate, 12–18 months, comes from Donatella Marazziti's experiment comparing the serotonin levels of people in love with OCD patients. In this experiment, subjects who had fallen in love within the past 6 months (who were in a relationship) were measured to have serotonin levels which were different from controls, levels which returned to normal after 12–18 months.

According to Tennov, ideally limerence will be replaced by another type of love. In this way, feelings may evolve over the duration of a relationship: "Those whose limerence was replaced by affectional bonding with the same partner might say, 'We were very much in love when we married; today we love each other very much.{{'"}}{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=243}} The more stable type of love which is usually the characteristic of long-term relationships is commonly called companionate love, storge or attachment.

Love regulation is "the use of behavioral or cognitive strategies to change the intensity of current feelings of romantic love".{{cite journal |last1=Langeslag |first1=Sandra |last2=van Strien |first2=Jan |date=16 August 2016 |title=Regulation of Romantic Love Feelings: Preconceptions, Strategies, and Feasibility |journal=PLOS ONE |volume=11 |issue=8 |pages=e0161087 |bibcode=2016PLoSO..1161087L |doi=10.1371/journal.pone.0161087 |pmc=4987042 |pmid=27529751 |doi-access=free |hdl-access=free |hdl=1765/96479}} For example, looking at pictures of the beloved has been shown to increase feelings of infatuation (i.e. passionate love) and attachment (i.e. companionate love). Sandra Langeslag notes that it's a common misconception that love feelings are uncontrollable, or even should not be controlled; however studies using EEG and psychometrics have shown that love regulation is possible and may be useful. In some cases, love feelings may be stronger than desired such as after a breakup, or love feelings may be weaker than desired such as when they decline throughout a long-term relationship.

In a technique called cognitive reappraisal, one focuses on positive or negative aspects of the beloved, the relationship, or imagined future scenarios:

• In positive reappraisal, one focuses on positive qualities of the beloved ("he's kind", "she's spontaneous"), the relationship ("we have so much fun together") or imagined future scenarios ("we'll live happily ever after"). Positive reappraisal increases attachment and can increase relationship satisfaction.
• In negative reappraisal, one focuses on negative qualities of the beloved ("he's lazy", "she's always late"), the relationship ("we fight a lot") or imagined future scenarios ("he'll cheat on me").{{cite news |last=Langeslag |first=Sandra |date=12 February 2017 |title=How to Become More (or Less) in Love With Someone, According to a Psychology Professor |url=https://fortune.com/2017/02/12/love-psychology-valentines-day/ |access-date=5 July 2024 |work=Forbes}} Negative reappraisal decreases feelings of infatuation and attachment, but decreases mood in the short term. Langeslag has recommended distraction as an antidote to the short-term decrease in mood.{{cite news |last=Hope |first=Allison |date=19 April 2022 |title=Can We Fall Out of Love? |url=https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/19/style/falling-out-of-love.html |access-date=5 July 2024 |work=The New York Times}}

Preliminary results from a 2024 study of online limerence communities conducted by Langeslag found that negative reappraisal decreased limerence for the study participants.{{cite AV media |people=Sandra Langeslag |date=26 October 2024 |title=Limerence: Definition, Experience, and Regulation |url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Kz7HELZvr8 |via=YouTube |work=2024 loveresearch.info Symposium |type=Podcast |language=en |publisher=loveresearch.info |access-date=11 January 2024}} A therapist named Brandy Wyant has also had her limerent clients list reasons their LO is not perfect, or reasons they and their LO are not compatible. Love regulation doesn't switch feelings on or off immediately, so Langeslag recommends, for example, writing a list of things once a day to feel a lasting change.{{cite magazine |last=Gregory |first=Andrew |date=29 May 2018 |title=The Best Way To Get Over a Breakup, According to Science |url=https://time.com/5287211/how-to-get-over-a-breakup/ |access-date=5 July 2024 |magazine=Time}}

Based on the addiction theory of romantic love, Helen Fisher and colleagues recommend that rejected lovers remove all reminders of their beloved, such as letters or photos, and avoid contact with the rejecting partner. Reminders can cause cravings which prolong recovery. Fisher et al. also suggests that positive contact with friends could reduce cravings. Rejected lovers should stay busy to distract themselves, and engage in self-expanding activities.

In 2008, Albert Wakin, a professor who knew Tennov at the University of Bridgeport but did not assist in her research, and Duyen Vo, a graduate student, suggested that limerence is similar to obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) and substance use disorder (SUD). They presented work to an American Association of Behavioral and Social Sciences conference, but suggested that much more research is needed before it could be proposed to the APA that limerence be included in the DSM. They began conducting an unpublished study and reported to USA Today that about 25% or 30% of their participants had experienced a limerent relationship as they defined it.{{cite news

| first = Sharon | last = Jayson | title = 'Limerence' makes the heart grow far too fonder | url = https://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-02-06-limerence_N.htm | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20080210054316/https://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-02-06-limerence_N.htm | archive-date = 10 February 2008 | format = web | work = USA Today | publisher = Gannett Co. Inc. | date = 6 February 2008 | access-date = 16 October 2008 }}

While limerence and romantic love in general have been compared to OCD since 1998 according to a hypothesis invented by other authors, experimental evidence for a connection with serotonin is ambiguous. This hypothesis was based on a superficial comparison between features of preoccupation shared between the two conditions, for example focusing on trivial details or worrying about the future. A 2025 study found no association between SSRI use and obsessive thinking about a loved one or the intensity of romantic love.{{Cite journal |last1=Bode |first1=Adam |last2=Kowal |first2=Marta |last3=Cannas Aghedu |first3=Fabio |last4=Kavanagh |first4=Phillip S. |date=15 April 2025 |title=SSRI use is not associated with the intensity of romantic love, obsessive thinking about a loved one, commitment, or sexual frequency in a sample of young adults experiencing romantic love |journal=Journal of Affective Disorders |language=en |volume=375 |pages=472–477 |doi=10.1016/j.jad.2025.01.103|doi-access=free |pmid=39848471 }}

Helen Fisher has commented on Wakin & Vo in 2008, stating that limerence is romantic love and that "They are associating the negative aspects of it with the term, and that can be a disorder." Fisher is one of the original authors to compare limerence to OCD, and has proposed that romantic love is a "natural addiction" which can be either positive or negative depending on the situation. Fisher stated again in 2024 that she does not think there is any difference between limerence and romantic love.

In 2017, Wakin has stated that he feels that brain scans of limerence would help establish it as "something unlike everything that has been diagnosed already",{{Cite news |last=Haward |first=Jenny |date=16 Nov 2017 |title=Can You Be Addicted To Love? We Take A Look At Limerence |url=https://www.huffpost.com/entry/can-you-be-addicted-to-love-we-take-a-look-at-limerence_n_61087600e4b0999d2084f2c0 |url-status= |access-date=17 September 2024 |work=HuffPo}} but brain scans have actually been described since as far back as 2002. In Fisher et al.'s original brain scan experiments, all participants spent more than 85% of their waking hours thinking about their loved one. Wakin also claims that a person experiencing limerence can never be satiated, even if their feelings are reciprocated. Tennov found many cases of nonlimerent people who described their limerent partners being "stricken with a kind of insatiability" in this way, and that "no degree of attentiveness was ever sufficient".{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=136–137}} However, according to Tennov's theory, the intensity of limerence diminishes when the limerent person perceives sustained reciprocation, so it is prolonged inside of a relationship when the LO behaves in a nonlimerent manner.{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=135}} Other authors who are in the mainstream have speculated that unwanted obsession inside a relationship could be related to self-esteem and an insecure attachment style.{{Cite web |last=Acevedo |first=Bianca |date=5 May 2016 |title=Is It Love or Desire? |url=https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-highly-romantic-marriage/201605/is-it-love-or-desire |access-date=9 July 2024 |website=Psychology Today}}{{Cite news |last=Derrow |first=Paula |date=20 January 2014 |title=When Normal Love Turns Obsessive |url=https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/news/a5382/when-normal-love-turns-obsessive/ |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20240925215031/https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/news/a5382/when-normal-love-turns-obsessive/ |archive-date=25 September 2024 |access-date=25 September 2024 |work=Cosmopolitan}}

In the 1999 preface to her revised edition of Love and Limerence, Dorothy Tennov describes limerence as an aspect of basic human nature and remarks that "Reaction to limerence theory depends partly on acquaintance with the evidence for it and partly on personal experience. People who have not experienced limerence are baffled by descriptions of it and are often resistant to the evidence that it exists. To such outside observers, limerence seems pathological." Tennov states that limerence is normal{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=180}}{{harvnb|Tennov|1998|p=80}} and says that even those of her interviewees who experienced limerence of a distressing variety were "fully functioning, rational, emotionally stable, normal, nonneurotic, nonpathological members of society" and "could be characterized as responsible and quite sane". She suggests that limerence is too often interpreted as "mental illness" in psychiatry. Tragedies such as violence, she says, involve limerence when it is "augmented and distorted" by other conditions, which she contrasts with "pure limerence".{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=89–90}}

In a 2005 Q&A, Tennov is asked if limerence can ever lead to a situation such as depicted in the movie Fatal Attraction, but Tennov replies that the movie character seemed to her to be a caricature.{{harvnb|Tennov|2005|p=371}} Most romantic stalkers are an ex-partner, erotomanic, have a personality disorder, are intellectually limited or socially incompetent.{{Cite journal |last1=Mullen |first1=Paul |last2=Path |first2=Michele |last3=Purcell |first3=Rosemary |last4=Stuart |first4=Geoffrey |date=1 August 1999 |title=Study of Stalkers |journal=The American Journal of Psychiatry |volume=156 |issue=8 |pages=1244–1249 |doi=10.1176/ajp.156.8.1244 |doi-access=free|pmid=10450267 }}

One writer who investigated the phenomenon of limerence videos on TikTok in 2024 has written that it seemed to her that the many videos created by the relationship coaches there were actually about social media stalking rather than having anything at all to do with limerence.

{{Portal|Society|Psychology}}

{{div col|colwidth=20em|small=yes}}

• {{Annotated link |Biology of romantic love}}
• {{Annotated link |Broken heart}}
• {{Annotated link |Crystallization (love)}}
• {{Annotated link |Eros (concept)}}
• {{Annotated link |Erotomania}}
• {{Annotated link |Infatuation}}
• {{Annotated link |Love addiction}}
• {{Annotated link |Lovesickness}}
• {{Annotated link |New relationship energy}}
• {{Annotated link |Obsessive love disorder}}
• {{Annotated link |Passionate and companionate love}}
• {{Annotated link |Puppy love}}
• {{Annotated link |Relationship obsessive–compulsive disorder}}
• {{Annotated link |Unrequited love}}

{{div col end}}

{{Reflist}}

• {{cite book | last=Fisher | first=Helen | author-link=Helen Fisher (anthropologist) | title=Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray (Completely Revised and Updated) | url=https://books.google.com/books?id=sWFYCgAAQBAJ | access-date=18 February 2024 | year=2016 | publisher=W. W. Norton & Company | isbn=978-0-393-34974-0 | archive-date=18 February 2024 | archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20240218225538/https://books.google.com/books?id=sWFYCgAAQBAJ | url-status=live }}
• {{cite book|last=Ågmo|first=Anders|title=Functional and dysfunctional sexual behavior: a synthesis of neuroscience and comparative psychology|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=mmJjj6UvB9YC|access-date=12 March 2011|date=17 August 2007|publisher=Academic Press|isbn=978-0-12-370590-7}}
• {{cite book |last1=Leggett |first1=John C. |last2=Malm |first2=Suzanne |title=The Eighteen Stages of Love: Its Natural History, Fragrance, Celebration and Chase |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=2g0RPVk7i1QC&pg=PA27 |access-date=12 March 2011 |date=March 1995 |publisher=Rowman & Littlefield |isbn=978-1-882289-33-2}}
• {{cite book |first=Robert L. |last=Moore |chapter=Love and Limerence with Chinese Characteristics: Student Romance in the PRC|editor-first=Victor C.|editor-last=De Munck |title=Romantic Love and Sexual Behavior: Perspectives from the Social Sciences|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=I78VnFoINgQC |access-date=12 March 2011 |year=1998 |publisher= Greenwood Publishing Group |isbn= 978-0-275-95726-1 |pages=251–283}}
• {{cite book |first=Dorothy |last=Tennov |author-link=Dorothy Tennov |chapter=Love Madness|editor-first=Victor C.|editor-last=De Munck |title=Romantic Love and Sexual Behavior: Perspectives from the Social Sciences|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=I78VnFoINgQC |access-date=8 September 2024 |year=1998 |publisher= Greenwood Publishing Group |isbn= 978-0-275-95726-1 |pages=77–88}}
• {{cite book |first=John |last=Lee |author-link=John Alan Lee |chapter=Ideologies of Lovestyle and Sexstyle|editor-first=Victor C.|editor-last=De Munck |title=Romantic Love and Sexual Behavior: Perspectives from the Social Sciences|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=I78VnFoINgQC |access-date=8 September 2024 |year=1998 |publisher= Greenwood Publishing Group |isbn= 978-0-275-95726-1 |pages=33–76}}
• {{cite book|last=Morris|first=Desmond|author-link=Desmond Morris|title=The naked ape trilogy|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=uccbAAAACAAJ|access-date=12 March 2011|date=2 June 1994|publisher=J. Cape|isbn=978-0-224-04140-9}}
• {{cite web |url=https://www.gramps.org/limerence |last=Tennov |first=Dorothy |author-link=Dorothy Tennov|title=A Scientist Looks at Romantic Love and Calls It "Limerence": The Collected Works of Dorothy Tennov|location=Greenwich, Ct. |publisher=The Great American Publishing Society |year=2005 }}
• {{Cite book |last1=Berscheid |first1=Ellen |editor-first=Ted L. |editor-last=Huston |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=YYFkAAAAIAAJ |title=Foundations of Interpersonal Attraction |chapter=A Little Bit about Love |pages=355–381 |last2=Walster |first2=Elaine |date=1974 |publisher=Academic Press |isbn=9780123629500}}
• {{cite book | last1=Hatfield | first1=Elaine | last2=Walster | first2=G. William | author-link=Elaine Hatfield | title=A New Look at Love | url=https://books.google.com/books?id=VBZgXsk-gsAC | access-date=3 July 2024 | year=1985 | publisher=University Press of America | isbn=9780819149572 }}
• {{cite book | last=Fisher | first=Helen | author-link=Helen Fisher (anthropologist) | title=Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love | url=https://books.google.com/books?id=SPxmHKLwj3MC | access-date=5 May 2024 | year=2004 | publisher=Henry Holt and Company | isbn=978-0-8050-7796-4 | archive-date=23 May 2024 | archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20240523011317/https://books.google.com/books/about/Why_We_Love.html?id=SPxmHKLwj3MC | url-status=live }}
• {{Cite book |last=Tallis |first=Frank |author-link=Frank Tallis |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=rV84AQAAIAAJ |title=Love Sick: Love as a Mental Illness |date=2004 |publisher=Century |isbn=9780712629041 |access-date=8 September 2024}}
• {{Cite book |last=Karandashev |first=Victor |url=https://link.springer.com/10.1007/978-3-319-42683-9 |title=Romantic Love in Cultural Contexts |date=2017 |publisher=Springer International Publishing |isbn=978-3-319-42681-5 |location=Cham |language=en |doi=10.1007/978-3-319-42683-9}}
• {{cite book | last=Hatfield | first=Elaine | author-link=Elaine Hatfield | editor-first=Robert | editor-last=Sternberg |editor-link=Robert Sternberg | title=The Psychology of Love | chapter=Passionate and Companionate Love | year=1988 | publisher=Yale University Press | url=https://books.google.com/books?id=0ZmURP07dsoC | isbn=9780300045895 | pages=191–217 | access-date=2024-05-16 | archive-date=2024-05-25 | archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20240525231905/https://books.google.com/books?id=0ZmURP07dsoC | url-status=live }}
• {{Cite book |last=Lee |first=John |author-link=John Alan Lee |title=The Colors of Love |publisher=Bantam Books |year=1977a |isbn=0-553-10520-5}}
• {{cite book |first=John |last=Lee |author-link=John Alan Lee |chapter=Love-Styles |editor-first=Robert |editor-last=Sternberg |editor-link=Robert Sternberg |title=The Psychology of Love|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=HuFB9FvpffgC |access-date=10 January 2025 |year=1988 |publisher=Yale University Press |isbn= 0-300-03950-6|pages=38–67}}
• {{Cite book |last=Beam |first=Joe |author-link=Joe Beam |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=0jBi87OOUosC |title=The Art of Falling in Love |date=2013 |publisher=Simon and Schuster |isbn=978-1-4516-7265-7 |language=en}}
• {{cite book |first1=Clyde |last1=Hendrick |first2=Susan S. |last2=Hendrick |chapter=Styles of Romantic Love |editor-first1=Robert |editor-last1=Sternberg |editor-link1=Robert Sternberg |editor-first2=Karin |editor-last2=Weis |title=The New Psychology of Love|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=bUSRsXs2kGEC |access-date=6 April 2025 |year=2006 |publisher=Yale University Press |isbn= 9780300116977|pages=149–170}}
• {{Cite book |last=Fisher |first=Helen |author-link=Helen Fisher (anthropologist) |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=tNT6ERmW2h0C |title=Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type |date=20 January 2009 |publisher=Macmillan Publishers |isbn=978-0-8050-8292-0 |language=en}}

{{Wiktionary}}

{{Spoken Wikipedia|limerence.ogg|date=29 April 2005}}

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